Find the other love, sex and dating resource that you're looking for by using searching below...

Custom Search

ice tea and sugar's fan box

ice tea and sugar on Facebook

Friday, 17 July 2009

5 Tips For Long Lasting Relationships

1. Start Over 

When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each of you did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. 

Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient 

2. Schedule Time 

Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency. 

3. The Power of Touch 

When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you. 

When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time! 

4. Surprise 

If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's performance," or "I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch the heart! 

5. Needed Space 

As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.


Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Ten Ways to Tell Your Spouse You Love Them Without Saying a Word

1. Hold Hands. Spontaneously reaching over and entwining fingers with the one you love has an instant, soothing affect. You immediately feel connected. I love to reach out and clasp my husband's hand while we are in the car. It brings back memories of when we were dating...and minus two children in the car!

2. Write a Love Note. Written expressions of appreciation and love are an instant boost. Finding them unexpectedly is even better! My husband leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning. I usually leave him a note on the bathroom sink, telling him to have a good day and put a heart or smiley face on it. It sounds a little corny, but he really does like seeing it first thing in the morning.

3. Catch his eye across the room. Ever been at a crowded gathering, separated from your partner? Give a wink or a small smile to let him know you would still rather be in his company than anyone else's.

4. Wear that perfume or outfit or shoes you know he loves. Even if it's not your favorite, make the small sacrifice. This says that you care about his likes and dislikes.

5. If your man is a sports fan, take the time that the game is on for some snuggling on the couch. I have never been interested in football, but my husband is a die hard Jets fan. All through the football season, I spend at least part of the time with him on the couch while he is enjoying the game. I read a book or magazine while he satisfies his football addiction. The physical closeness, while both doing something we enjoy makes the time special.

6. Every now and then, take over one of "his" chores. No one enjoys taking out the garbage. In our house, it is typically my husband's job. Sometimes I'll just do it before he gets around to it. He always notices and appreciates it.

7. Every so often, take the time to make a really special meal. It is an old cliche that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. There is something heartwarming about having that special someone take the time to  
prepare a delicious, satisfying meal.

8. Really listen when he is talking. It's very easy to tune him out when you've heard the same work story over and over. Make the effort to focus on what he's saying. Or at the very least, refrain from saying, "I know, I know, you've told me a thousand times !"

9. Light up when he comes in the room. No, you don't have to do a dance every time he joins you in the living room or kitchen, but do give a smile and let him know you are happy to see him.

10. Now for the bedroom stuff. Being a wife and mother is exhausting work. Throw in an outside job and romance can fall by the wayside. Don't always shut him down if he's in the mood and you're not. Relax and focus on the love you share. I am not advocating responding to his advances if you are really and truly not interested. Just stay open to the possibility of quality private time together, even if initially all you really want to do is sleep!


6 Important Rules In Relationships

1. Trust

Trust is the substance for all relationships. Relationships usually head towards the dead-end when trust is broken. Lack of trust doesn’t attract anything good except suspicion, which generates anger, which causes enmity, which eventually (most occasions) results in separation.

There was a story about a telephone operator who received a phone call one day. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” And there was silence. She repeated, “P.U.B.” There was still no answer from the other line. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is P.U.B. Sorry, I got the number from my husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”

Well, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with a simple ‘Hello’ instead of ‘P.U.B’. That is why mutual trust is so important in any relationship.

 2. Forgiveness

In a relationship, we look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of being criticised openly. Generally when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, our other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. So, if we forgive the others, others will forgive us too.

There was a man who asked his father-in-law, “Could you please share with me your secret in keeping a successful marriage?” The father-in-law answered with a smile, “Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could find a better husband than you.”

3. Understanding

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband. This is because, the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. However, the simple rule is understanding, which keeps strifes away from relationships.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

4. Leniency

Haven’t we often heard that relationship fails because ‘he’s too domineering’ or ’she’s so bossy’ or ‘I can’t handle all the demands!’? People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. More often than not, this is not the case.

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that it is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character. It is not easy to change. Thus having high expectation on changing the spouse’s character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

5. Respect

There is a verse in the Bible that says ‘what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man’. Wrong speech hurts deeper than wrong doings. When a couple is too close to each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other person. Frequent exchanging of spiteful and tactless remarks plants the seed for a relationship-gone-wrong.

There was an illustration of a wife and her millionaire husband who visited their construction site. A worker saw her and shouted, “Hi, remember me? We used to date in school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you’ll be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered, “You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he’ll be the millionaire and not you.”

6. Patience

This is a true story which happened in the United States. A man came out of his house to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his 3-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed done, he rushed his son to the hospital.

The boy’s fingers were amputated from both his hands because the bones were badly crushed. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Dad, I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “But when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home and committed suicide.

 This last story has put a dent in my heart: trucks can be repaired, broken bones and hurt feelings often can’t. Next time someone steps on your feet or wish to take revenge, remember this story. Think first before you lose your patience, especially with someone you love. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. Mistakes make us human. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Would you like to share any virtues that strengthen relationships?

Share your heart with us and let’s make love, and not war!

4 Factors of Attractiveness

1. Physical Attractiveness

While the professionals say that physical beauty is a main factor in influencing our selection of people, how many times have you heard someone say that beauty doesn’t matter? These days, nobody wants to admit that we consider good-looks to be an issue. We’d rather be a part of the noble few that really sees beyond the outside, and therefore would never own up to the possibility that we want both inner and outer beauty.

The ‘truth’ of the matter is that we actually do size people up according to looks, among the first few things, and we might be doing this on an unconscious level – that we are unaware of it.

2. Proximity

The more we see them, the more likely we are to be attracted – that’s what they tell us, anyway. Now, on some level, this may be blatantly true, because consider how much time we spend around someone we want to get to know, and eventually it’s just bound to happen, but consider that on the grounds of virtual reality and you’ll find that it’s even more astounding!

People can now generate relationships over a computer screen, but how would they have known that back then when cyberspace wasn’t as big a deal as it is now? This might mean that it isn’t the physical factor that attracts us, but the inside that counts for a little more, which holds up a pretty good argument against Factor 1. How DO they fall in love in cyberspace, if not for what’s inside? Oh, and this is assuming we’re back in the days when webcam was a luxury.

3. Similarity

This then breaks down to four smaller categories – demographic similarity, attitudinal similarity, similarity in physical attractiveness, and similarity in interests and experiences. Whatever happened to ‘opposites attract’? How would we then go on to explain the phenomenon of one ToDieFor partner when the other looks like SomethingTheCatDraggedIn? How we go about the story of the handsome prince falling in love with a sweet little peasant girls from the suburbs? And what about those couples like Dharma and Greg?

Do we really want to be with someone who is a lot like ourselves? To what degree until it becomes narcissistic?

4. Reciprocity of Liking

‘We like those who like us, and say nice things about us‘ (Berscheid & Reis, 1998)

When we were kids in the playground, the fairer sex might have adhered to that theory, hurling all the possible admiration, affection, and attention we could muster to the boys that gave us butterflies, but they, however, pulled on our pigtails and trampled our sweet little faces into the mud when they had an inkling of a feeling. Complete, utter self-denial, and they acted out in the worst possible manner to prove that so.

These days, even, we make things so frustratingly complicated when we come to terms with an attraction, and more often than not, it’s a lot of mixed signals out there before the message finally gets across. We think excessive compliments are a reason to run for the hills, so where’s the fine line between courting and creepy?

Personally, I think there’s some truth to what the scientists say, but when put into account for the current day, it doesn’t add up and therefore we should all collectively work on a whole new list of factors that are a little more up-to-date. I, for one, don’t think trimmed toenails are too much to ask for…

6 Type of Love

1. Agape - sacrificial love. A man who understands this feeling as self-return, will make everything so that his loved one feel good.

How he behaves. Most likely, he dated you for a long, before making a declaration of love. You notice he never demands anything in reply to his feeling, it is completely disinterested. As a rule, your partner can tell: “I will give you the last penny” and so forth.

What you can expect from him. Such love, of course, has a set of pluses. A man constantly endowing himself and his interests for the sake of yours, causes trust and respect. But no more. As a rule, total care starts bothering. You would like passions, but, alas, a man incurs a role of “loving daddy”. This is, certainly, pleasant, but does not promote sexual desire. And as a man does not demand any return from you, you start appreciating him ever less. Generally speaking, he imposes his care on you, constantly aspires to learn your thoughts, desires, control them.

2. Ludus - so-called love-game. It is based first of all on sexual desire.

How he behaves. Such man does not trouble himself with courtings. After all, he considers that sexual desire to woman is the best acknowledgement of his love. As a rule, “stickings” begin on the first appointment. He does not try learning you as a person, each refusal “to get acquainted closer” is perceived as personal insult, can cause angry rebuff of type: “So why we communicate with you?!” The longer a woman keeps such man at arm’s length, the colder he becomes - after all, he thinks, if a woman does not want a man, this means, she is not interested in him. By the way, you can notice that except you such gentleman also dates several women, besides, he is not jealous, if you start flirting with others on his eyes. He does not aspire to become closer with you, you feel that if you are far from him, he forgets about you, and calls only to learn only when you can meet next time.

What to expect from him. Probably, at first you will be overflowed by a storm of feelings and emotions. However, when passion passes, you can find out that, except sex, you have nothing in common. A man who considers that sex is love, as a rule, is rather selfish, thinks only of his desires. If you suddenly cease satisfying his sexual requirements, he will quickly grow cold. Feelings of such man are very transient and superficial. As a rule, he loves you only when you are nearby, and overcomes parting very easily. Having decided to break up with him, do not wait for calls with apologies or night visitings with an armful of roses and oaths in eternal fidelity. In general, your communication will be only a petty intrigue. If you do not impose responsibility for you and your feelings on such partner - you will spend pefrect time with him in bed for a long.

3. EROS - sensual love. It is based first of all on fidelity and only then on physical desire.

How he behaves. He is interested in your life and problems. He does not dissapear after first night spent together. You have things to talk about. In conversation he tells not only about himself, but is also interested in your emotions and feelings.

What to expect from him. You found almost an ideal partner! This man will not ego-trip at your expense, he appreciates your feelings and will not start blackmailing you with love (”I do everything for you, and you are so ungrateful!”). Your man is glad to the fact you feel good with him, he likes caring of you. This is really a true love!

4. MANIA - love-obsession. As a rule, is based on passion and jealousy.

How he behaves. In the centre of such man’s love is not a partner, but he. As a result, he constantly tries to ego-trip at the expense of other people. It can be expressed differently, but more often - in the form of banal household rudeness or humiliations “on trifles”. Such man will wait for any problems in your relations and if they do not arise, he will create them. For example, he will start telling you you wash dishes wrong way. Or suddenly he will start carping that you spend too much money. Such man waits that other person will run into dependence from him, considers that a woman should love only him, because he is with her. Such person avoids any routine, boredom and attachment. He often changes friends, residences, works, most likely, was married before.

What to expect from him. Pathological jealousy. Such person is jealous not because he is afraid to lose you, but because you can “run away” from his power. Thus, the weaker and more dependant you will be, the more confident this man will feel. He will constantly try to force you thinking that you are obliged to him by something. And will perceive your care and love as due, will not appreciate and notice them. As a result, the more you will try to come closer to him, the more he will push you away. And on the contrary, if he sees you cooling, he will aspire to be pleasant to you again in every way. And then again cooling. But consider that such man provokes break-up by himself, thereby confirming his importance even more.

5. Pragma - “rational” love.

How he behaves. Such man says that he needs a woman whom he would feel comfortable with (instead of the one he will grow fond at first sight or with whom he will have tremendous sex). At acquaintance he first of all tries to learn, whether you are able to be in charge of housekeeping, whether you suffer from fits of hysteria, etc. In general, he looks, whether he will be able to build a joint life with you.

What to expect from him. There will be no passions and unexpected acts in your joint life. You will be constantly pursued by a feeling that you were chosen as goods. While you give a partner everything he expects from you - stability, material benefit, - he loves you. But as soon as this basis dissapears, break-up follows. Such man begins constantly supervising his feelings and will demand the same from you. If you need constant changes, thirst of new sensations and feelings - such relations is obviously not for you.

6. Storge - love-friendship.

How he behaves. A man tells you about all problems and relatives. You feel you can share everything with him. You never have any fluctuations to tell him something, - you just approach and speak. You are always assured that in any case will find understanding and support.

What to expect from him. Probably, soon you will miss strong emotions - you will want new sensations. If you know all thoughts and desires of each other, you will have no space - you just become uninteresting for each other! Therefore, it is reasonable to have your small hobbies that will help you equiping some personal, intimate space.


10 Signs a Man is Not Ready to Commit

1. He is Noncommittal and Vague About His Feelings

You can never quite get him to admit to the depth (or shallowness) of his feelings for you. You are ‘okay’, ‘alright’ or ‘straight’. He hasn’t made any proclamations about what you mean to him, how important you are to him or what he thinks about you. In the best-case scenario (if your man is not particularly talkative), he shows his feelings, even if he doesn’t tell you about them. He is polite, courteous and responsive to your needs. He cooks for you. He mows the lawn (unasked). Or something along those lines. The worst-case scenario? He doesn’t share any of his feelings with you because he doesn’t have any. The deepest feeling he has for you is the aforementioned ‘alright’. And nobody wants to be just 'alright'.

2. He Doesn’t Share His Plans With You

You don’t know how he spends his free time. You don’t know who his friends are. You don’t know what his goals are. Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is not a good sign. If you are not a significant part of his current life, you are probably not a significant part of his future plans either. If you are in a new relationship, give it some time. But if you still know very little about him after dating him for several months (or several years), this man is quite happy to keep you right where he has you – on the outside looking in.

3. He Doesn’t Answer the Phone When You Call

Yes, I know we all get busy sometimes. I don’t answer my phone at least 30% of the time (I have to work and sleep, you know). But if, he rarely or never picks up? Or if he is only calls you in response to a message (or several) you’ve left on his phone or because he sees your number on his caller ID? Bad, bad, bad signs. A man who is interested in you wants to talk to you. No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him (or at least your phone calls should be). If you are not, you need to re-consider his being a priority in your life.

4. He Hasn’t Introduced You to Anyone (or Introduces You as a ‘Friend’)

Okay – this is simple. If a man has not introduced you to anybody he knows (and he at least has a mama, a couple of friends, co-workers, or somebody), you are probably not very important to him or his life. Why do I say that? What’s one of the first things you do when you meet someone (that you really like)? Introduce him to your friends or invite him to different functions. Men are not so very different from us – if they love having you around, they will invite you to be where they are. And, in the normal course of those invitations, you will meet people who are in his life. If you haven't, then beware. And, closely related to this:

5. He Doesn’t Tell Anyone About You

When you talk to him, he may mention conversations he's had with his family or friends. He tells you all about these conversations where he discusses baseball games or the basketball finals he watched on tv, the repair he's having done to his car or how his boss is getting on his nerves. He may even mention to these aforesaid friends and family his weekend plans. But, then you catch on to something – he told them what he was going to do, but not with whom he would be doing those things (namely, you). A simple oversight? An overriding need for privacy? Possibly. But, more than likely, he is not ready for anyone to know of your existence in his life. This could be for a number of reasons, but none of them are good. So, keep up with his mentions of you in his life – it is an important indicator of intent and the seriousness with which he takes your relationship.

6. He Talks About His Future in Terms of ‘I’

When he talks about where he's going to live, what job he plans on getting or what school he plans to attend, it's all about him. "I'm" going to move to Florida or "I'm" going to go to the University of Nevada. Or, even when he talks about things that could conceivably involve you, like a future trip, moving from his apartment to his house or even a movie he plans to see, for heaven's sake, still no mention of you. What should this say to you? That he's still thinking of himself in terms of being single. It has not yet occurred to him that the relationship he has with you could become more serious. All those "I's" and lacks of "we's" is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner.

7. He Doesn’t Take You Out

Sure, he likes spending time with you – but only in the privacy of his home. Or, he can hang out with you at school, but it never seems to go further than the coffee shop or library. This man is not ready to be serious with you. A man who wants to be with you will spend time with you in a variety of places – both publicly and privately. And even if he's not personally very interested in going to the museum, eating out or seeing a movie, he should at least be willing to give it a shot if it means pleasing you. Beware of a man who limits your activity to one specific type of place.

8. Only Calls Late (aka Treats You Like a Booty Call)

Right. I know that we are all Christians and we are not engaging in late-night conversations with inapproporate men. But, just in case this applies to you (and you are accepting those late-night calls), just understand that he is not serious about you. If he only calls late, you have to ask yourself: what is he doing between the hours of 8am and 9pm? Why can't he call then? Is he involved with someone else? Is he married or recently separated? Or does he simply see you as a way to get his needs met (whatever they are)? Unless he works a really odd shift, there is no reason that your guy cannot call you at a reasonable hour. Do what seems right to you, but know that late night calls do not equal serious intentions.

9. He Doesn’t Share Personal Information 

Have you ever asked yourself why you don't know where your guy lives? Or where he works? Or you're not even 100% sure of his last name? Unless you are truly just disinterested (or aren't inquisitive enough to ask him), it's probably because he doesn't want you to know. And why doesn't he want you to know? He could be hiding something. Or, most likely he doesn't consider your relationship to be serious enough to share the serious information about his life with you. Don't think so? Try asking him thoe questions the next time you see him. His answers (or lack of answers) will speak for themselves.

10. He Doesn’t Take an Interest in Your Activities or Your Future Plans

We've already been over the fact that he doesn't tell you his future plans. But now, to add insult to injury, he doesn't ask about yours either. Why is this such a bad thing? Let me ask you something – to what kind of people do you fail to ask questions like these? That's right – acquaintances. People you barely know. You even talk to your boss (who you can't stand) about what you plan to do for the weekend. Yet your guy doesn't ask? Very suspicious. Suspicious enough for you to rightly think that he simply isn't interested in knowing. Or else – he'd ask.


10 Signs a Woman is Not Ready To Commit

1. She Spends More Time With Her Girlfriends Than With You

Like most women, I enjoy spending time with my girlfriends. They are fun, they like to talk as much as I do and I get to watch girly movies to my heart’s content (try dragging a guy to see ‘Something New’). But as much as I like hanging with my girls, there’s something I usually enjoy just as much, if not more: Hanging out with my man. I love seeing him, talking to him, just chilling out, holding hands or whatever. It brings me happiness. It makes me feel content. And it builds the bond of our relationship. So, guys, if you find that the woman you are dating seems to enjoy hanging out with her girlfriends way more than she enjoys hanging out with you, it’s your first good sign that she is not ready to commit to you.

2. She Doesn’t Return Your Phone Calls

Now most women complain that their men don’t call them enough. They complain that they are forced to wait by the phone for their men to return their calls, their men fail to call when they are going to be late or that they don’t call just to ‘talk’. So for a woman not to call you back? That is beyond odd. It is abnormal. And it’s impolite. And most women, even if they’re not interested in you, will at least call you back. If a woman is not returning your phone calls, it is a very clear sign that she is not really interested in you. Maybe there’s another man or maybe she just has other things on her mind, but you are not a priority.

 3. She Shows Up Late For Dates

Okay, so you’ve met a young lady you like. You’ve taken her out a few times. And you feel she is just as interested in you as you are in her. You just have one problem – she’s always showing up late for for your dates together. Sometimes she calls when she’s going to be late, sometimes she doesn’t. She only shows consistency in the amount of time it takes her to arrive at your house, get ready when you get to her house or the time it takes her to meet you some place. What should this say to you? That either a) she is so self-centered that she thinks the world revolves around her (in which case you probably wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with her anyway) or (more likely) b) she doesn’t care very much about your feelings. And a woman who can’t even show up to meet you on time is clearly telling you she can’t be dependable in other areas (like being faithful, being loyal, etc.). And do you really want to be a someone like that?

4. She is Vague & Non-Committal About Her Feelings

This is a trait both uncommitted men and women share – when asked how they feel about you (and the relationship), they can never quite answer the question. They are vague (’I like you’ or ’I think you’re okay‘ and definitely beware of ‘You seem like a really nice guy’) and non-committal (’Why don’t we just see how things go’ or, my favorite, ‘Let’s just play it by ear’). And this is particularly egregious in the case of women because women love to talk. Especially about our feelings. We talk to our girlfriends, our co-workers, our moms and our sisters all the time about our feelings! About everything from how we feel about the new latte at Starbucks, to how we feel about the war in Iraq to how we feel about the weather. In fact, 90% of our conversations are probably about how we feel? Yet the woman you are dating can’t share her feelings with you? That is totally bogus. Trust me when I tell you – she is not with you for the long haul.  

5. She Spends All Her Time at Church

Hey, I can’t fault a sister for wanting to devote her time to the Lord. And church can be supremely busy, between choir rehearsal, usher board meeting, belonging to the new building committee and trying to do Sunday worship, Wednesday Bible Study plus the Friday Night ‘Refresher’. This is a sister to be admired. This is a sister to be respected in her devotion to the things of God. This is not, however, a sister who is ready to be in a committed relationship with you. No harm, no foul – but when she is ready (spiritually and emotionally), she will make time for a special man in her life. Until that time, she is best left alone (or just treated as a good friend).

6. School/Career is Her #1 Priority

There comes a time in every person’s life when you realize it’s time to get yourself together. It’s time to start school or go back. It’s time to switch careers or put some new energy into climbing that corporate ladder at your current job. You realize you need a bigger house. You realize you need to move out of your parent’s home. You realize you want to travel the world (and need some money to do it). You’re tired of traveling through Europe and are ready to grow up. Whatever the case may be, you (finally) decide to focus all your energies and pursue your goals for success. And, usually, that means it becomes the most important thing in your life. Guys – if the woman you are dating are at that point, you simply have to accept that that’s where her head is. She needs to focus her energies to make her first million, write her first book, get her PH.D. or whatever. But she needs you to understand that is where her time, attention and energy will be devoted. And it probably means she is not in a position to give you the attention you deserve in a committed relationship. But it’s okay. Support her, love her, whatever, but know that the relationship with you will probably not progress until she reaches at least some of her goals. Patience (in this case) may be a virtue – waiting her out might just be the ticket for you. But that’s a decision you have to make for yourself.

7. She Has Too Many Ex’es Around

Yes, ladies, I said it. I know you spent all that time explaining to your guy how you and Gary used to date, but now that he’s married with kids, you guys are ‘just friends’. And I know you’ve explained to him that having ex-boyfriends in your life don’t mean anything. That the romance is over and you have now settled into a mature, life-affirming, God-fearing, spirit-led relationships with them. And I know it is something you would like him to believe, but we all really know the truth: many times having ex-boyfriends in our lives just serves as a crutch for our new relationships. A possibility. A back-up in times of trouble. It ain’t pretty and it ain’t cute, but many times it’s true. Not all the time, but many times. But, any time a woman has a lot of men in her life (particularly ex-boyfriends) it is not a sign that says she is really ready to begin a new phase in her life with a brand new man. What it is probably saying is that she is content right where she is - in her comfort zone. And whether the relationship with you works out or not, she will be just fine. After all, when you don’t act right, she can just call Robert, John or Peter anyway. They understand her just fine. And they are more than willing to give her a shoulder to cry on – or whatever else she might require. I’m just telling the truth….

8. She Constantly Talks About Her Past Relationships

Can you say ‘it’s over’? Well, apparently she can’t. She talks so often about how Mark mistreated her by cheating on her with other women, you are starting to feel like it was you who had been betrayed. And if she’s not talking about just one guy, she talks randomly about multiple men she has dated. You are starting to feel like you are just one more person in a whole long line of failed relationships. And you know what? You probably are. If you are dating a woman who cannot seem to realize that she has met a brand new guy who deserves a brand new chance, she is not even remotely ready to be in a serious relationship with you. Make your exit quickly – at least so that when she does talk about you, she won’t have so much to go on and on about to her new guy.

9.She Constantly Puts Men Down

Even worse than a woman who constantly talks about her past relationships (and how they did her wrong) is one who thinks all men are bad – period. They are all dogs, they are all unfaithful, they are all liars, they are all abusive, they are all – you fill in the blanks. Nothing you say can change her mind and no good deed on your part will ever be enough. This woman is far, far gone and only an act of God can bring her back. Be nice, be sweet, and be on your way.

10. She Is Only Interested in What You Can Give Her

You ever notice that you can only see your girl over a fancy dinner? Or how she calls you right around the time a new movie comes out or a good tour is in your city? Here’s the truth – she’s using you. She sees you as a source of food, movie or concert tickets. Or, even worse, as a rent check, a down payment for a car or a good-looking man to be on her arm. She is very interested in what you have. She is not interested, however, in you. It’s a cold thing to realize, but you’re better off in the long run if you admit it to yourself now: your girlfriend is a gold-digger. See – there you’ve said it. You are free to go or free to stay, but at least you know the truth. I hope you decide to go…


Don't Date These Dolls and Girls

10. The woman who is obsessed with getting married

You know the type. Desperate to be married...jerks are ok so long as they are marriage material. 

She's the woman who had her whole life laid out like clockwork and with a timeline to give her the perfect life, only to find she hasn't met the perfect man and her biological clock is counting down in seconds. 

You know she's going to suddenly discover as soon as she's married and gotten the two kids that you are a stinker...but now, you're going to have to deal with her the rest of your life. 

She's so scary that any man in his right mind would run run.

9. The woman who is always looking for a fight

You will be able to tell if your woman is this type if everything with he is a battle.

Anything that is said by anyone will be quickly taken out of context to become some sort of insult or some reason to wage war against the world. 

She will make you an angry and bitter person too as there will be nothing but misery with her. Avoid her like you would a shrieking alarm.

8. The woman who needs to be handled with kid gloves

Everything in life hurts this type of woman. You feel like she should be wrapped up in bubble wrap so she doesn't break.

The tiniest criticism, the most innocent of comments will have her dripping in tears and big sad dog eyes.

Before you know it, you will be spending your whole life apologizing, saying sorry for all the things you did, didn't do and for the mere fact that you came into her life. 

It's easier if you just get out of her life, as if she doesn't commit suicide because you leave her, she will sure threaten suicide because of something your did when you stayed. Avoid her like you would moldy bread.

7. The woman who really needs to cover up

I understand there are many women out there that still feel as young on the inside as they did when they were teenagers, but there does come a time when they need to stop dressing like they have the body of a lovely young lady. 

To me, almost nothing is as gross as looking at the jiggling flesh of aging skin put out for display by a woman as if they are at the prime of youth (other than the behavior of leering men too old for them I am told by my wife - guess which doll is inspired by her). 

If you are involved with a woman who shows a bit too much, she has issues that are not going to get smaller with the decay of time so issue her a kiss off letter and vamoose.

6. The woman who is a constant drag

God, there a million of these types of women aren't there? 

You know the type? Everything around them is a total drag. There is always something that could go wrong and she can never be happy, no matter what you do. 

You could have won the lottery but with her worrying and kvetching, it will soon feel like it was the worst thing that ever happened to you.

This type of woman will slowly seep the will to live out of you, so stay away. Avoid her like you would an old used shoe.

5. The woman who can't shut up

I get attracted to women who can carry a conversation and has a good sense of humor. But there is a fine line between being a good talker and talking too good. 

Avoid the wise-cracking woman who always has to make a comment about everything. If you don't watch out, you'll wake up one morning to find yourself next to your nightmare version of Rosie O'Donnell.

4. The woman who takes and takes and takes

I've known only a few women like this because I don't have the money to attract more of them. 

These are the women that are lovely on the outside, but really inside are a bunch of money hungry takers who are just with you for your wallet. 

Your woman usually looks likes this when you first meet her and then you slowly realize it's all a cunning shell designed to lure you to her like a sirens' call.

Watch yourself as the types of ladies will just suck you and your wallet dry and leave you emasculated. Avoid them like you would avoid a mosquito nest. (See it here .)

3. The woman who has nothing to say

There are woman who talk constantly and say nothing. 

This type of women can go on and on about what her friend told her other friend about the shoes she bought on sale, but were really not on sale as her other friend found them cheaper at another store and on and on.

These are the women you just what to yell "Shut the F#### Up" on a daily basis but don't say anything to as they will then spend the next hour grilling you as to why you aren't happy today. ARRRRRRGH!!

2. The woman who is one big freak show

This is the woman who will quickly drive you to your untimely death by having a stroke induced by frustration.

She can't make a decision about anything and doesn't know whether she is going forwards or backwards. Too wracked by anxiety about making the wrong decision, she drives you up the wall as you sit there patiently as she for the millionth time tries to figure out what to do, where to go, what to eat and what to wear.

1. The woman who is all out evil

These women are rare but the most scary and destructive to be involved with. 

They usually come in very normal packages, but as the layers of normality peel off with familiarity, you one day discern that your woman is just plain evil. 

Get away if it's not too late....but make sure she can't track you down, because she's the type of person to find you and send you to prison on some false charges to become Bubba's pet dog. 

Monday, 6 July 2009

6 Ways To Impact Someone Else's Day

1. Give The Gift Of A Compliment:

A simple compliment like "you look nice today," or a sincere "thank you for what you are doing" can go along way and should be part of our daily routines. This kind of recognition makes the other individual involved feel better and will generally make them feel more comfortable.

2. Give The Gift Of Affection:

Don't be afraid to give hugs, kisses and "pats on the back" to the people you love. Maybe tell them how much you appreciate them in your life? Affection is something that we all crave as part of our human nature. This is a very good gift to give and lets the other person know that you care.

3. Give The Gift Of Laughter:

Make someone laugh today! Laugh at yourself with them if you have to. Laughter is one of the best gifts you can give because it reaches the internal soul of another and is natural. Making someone laugh is very pure and great for the inner being.

4. Give The Gift Of Listening: 

Genuinely listen to someone. Do not interrupt them, don't daydream during a conversation, and try to respond only when asked...this is listening. Looking back at someone directly into their eyes when they are talking to you shows them that you are interested in what they are saying and will make them feel good.

5. Give The Gift Of A Written Note:

Send out a thank you note, a get-well card, or maybe just write a letter to an old friend? How you make others feel with this type of effort is unmeasurable. Other people understand the thoughtfulness behind a written note. And the fact that you took time out of your day to do such a thing will always make make them feel good, even if only for a moment.

6. Give The Gift Of Your Time:

Donate your time to a family member, friend or maybe just a good cause in your neighborhood or area that you live. What you accomplish will go way beyond the time spent in the act of helping. People remember back to how you helped them. If you are creative in what you do for them, this actually can be a great way for continuing to help them way beyond the time you actually donated.


15 Strong Signs He Or She Is In Love With You

Below are 15 signals that will help you decide if the man or woman you are attracted to -- or are with -- loves you or not.

1. He/she shows interest in your life - asks about your day, family, friends and work; remembers whatever say and do etc.;

2. He/she knows exactly what makes you smile, feel special and taken care of;

3. He/she is very affectionate, attentive, sensitive, considerate and cares about your needs, wants and desires;

4. He/she calls you just because he/she was thinking about you, misses you, or just felt like it etc.;

5. He/she wants to spend as much with you as is possible - clears up his/her busy schedule and makes plans just for you, travels long distances just to be with you etc.;

6. He/she talks to you about things he/she doesn't talk about with anybody else;

7. He/she walks that special extra mile just for you - shares your interests even if he/she doesn't like what you like, puts aside what they could be doing just to talk, listen or do something for you instead etc.;

8. He/she tells you how wonderful you make him/her feel and how having you in his/her life enriches it;

9. He/she does small unexpected things to pleasantly surprise you- sends an email message, shows up at your workplace, gets you something you always wanted etc.;

10. He/she loves and enjoys being physically close to you;

11. He/she takes time to choose his/her gifts for you - regardless of the price tag;

12. He/she gives without being asked and accepts from you with gratitude;

13. He/she wants a future with you in it – talks about it and plans for it;

14. He/she tells you he/she loves you;

15. You just know it – no doubting, no questioning, no wondering, no convincing or trying to make him/her love you and no strings attached. You look into his/her eyes and you know it. Something inside of you just knows.


Wednesday, 1 July 2009

100 Things I Love About Him

1) The way he holds me when i'm down
2) His sensitive personality
3) His funny side!
4) His gentle, loving touch that i can’t live without...
5) His absolutely beautiful, sexy brown eyes. I get lost every time i look into them
6) His amazing hugs!
7) He’s here when i need him
8) He always knows what to say to me...
9) His voice. So soothing, so gentle... love it
10) He cares soooo incredibly much
11) He worries about me... makes me feel like i matter. Makes me feel loved.
12) He tries to understand me, that’s wonderful
13) He listens
14) He is honest
15) He is a giver, not a taker
16) He picks me up when i fall (metaphorically AND physically!)
17) He’s a gentleman to everyone, so wonderful.
18) He’s nice to his mother
19) The way he doesn’t always conform.
20) His kisses
21) The way we instantly knew we loved each other and would for life
22) He is shy. I love shy guys
23) His charm
24) He is so handsome
25) He’s a musician
26) The way he always tells me I’m beautiful, inside and out, even when I don’t think so
27) The way he appreciates the way i think
28) He appreciates my art
29) He’s taller than me
30) He sees me at the same level as him, even though I’m a year younger than he is
31) His determination
32) The way we understand each other
33) He never gave up on me, and never will
34) The way he puts up with my overactive imagination :P
35) The way he puts up with my randomness!
36) He is the first person I ever loved and the first person I ever felt loved by (romantically)
37) We’re soul mates... definitely
38) He knows my weaknesses
39) He knows my strengths
40) He respects me
41) His respect for his mother! That goes a long way with me. I love men who respect their elders
42) He knows what hurts me
43) He is always careful around me
44) He knows what to do around me so he doesn’t physically hurt me
45) He knows that I’m extremely sensitive
46) He is stronger than I am
47) I feel so extremely safe in his arms, i never want to leave them
48) He calls me “love”
49) Even when he doesn’t agree with me, he can understand me
50) Our relationship is built on love, not lust
51) His sweet, loving, kind heart
52) The way he talks about me... makes me feel like the most important person in the world
53) His laugh
54) His lack of knowledge for actors and actresses. Lol.
55) He knows how to excite me!
56) His ability to make me smile when no one else can
57) The way he opens the car door for me, walks me to my car, just being a gentleman
58) When he plays piano for me... I can’t believe this is number 58 because this is definitely one of the things i love most about him. He plays so beautifully... I love it soooo so much.
59) When he says “i love you”
60) When he says my name
61) His commitment to me. His loyalty and devotion
62) The way his fingers fit between mine perfectly. Made for each other
63) His mother, she’s a nice woman
64) His leather jacket!
65) He’s a deep thinker
66) The way he looks into my eyes
67) The way he knows when something is wrong
68) The way he cuddles
69) He’s a goofball!
70) His ability to arouse me... lol
71) I love the way he tells me how he misses me...
72) The way he makes me feel like I actually belong
73) His smell
74) The way he really cares for me and wants to take care of me
75) He is my love, my best friend, the one I KNOW i can trust
76) He has a fat cat named Zack!
77) I love how he’s nervous when he comes in for a kiss
78) I love how he stalks me religiously
79) He knows when to back off and give me some space
80) He knows of my fears and comforts me about them
81) He listens. (I know i already said this, but this is a genuine trait that few men out there have...) He listens to me. He wants to know what I have  to say all the time.
82) He gives me comfort when I am in pain
83) He is sincere
84) He makes me feel so loved... so special
85) He loves me for who I am
86) We’re such a perfect match
87) I can tell him anything
88) He has the key to my heart
89) He is the reason I want to go on in this twisted world
90) He means the world to me
91) He is a dream come true to me
92) He can be corny :) haha
93) He never wants to let me go home... He never wants to let go of me. He wants to hold me forever
94) When I’m feeling the worst, he makes me feel the happiest
95) How he would do anything I say
96) He tells me he would go to the end of the world for me...
97) The way we complete each other. Your weaknesses are my strengths, and my strengths are your weaknesses
98) The way you text me every freaking minute :)
99) He is simply irresistible...
100) I love the way that he let me inside of his world. He has given me the chance to get to know him and I took that chance and will never, ever regret it. I love you.