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Saturday, 25 September 2010

32 Lesson Learned from @MarriageMentor

1. Always be student of your mate. Each season of married life is different.
2. When it comes to in-law issues, cleave to your spouse first and then let "blood talk to blood".
3. Learn each other love language and show them love in the way that's most meaningful to them.
4. Get a way at least once in a year as a couple - even if it's just for one night. Recharge your marriage by falling in love again.
5. Learn to listen with empathy, without trying to "fix" her problem.
6. Wives, be visually generous with your husband. He will greatly appreciate that.
7. Warm up their towel in the clothes dryer while they are in the shower. Then wrap them in it when they get out.
8. Discuss each person's 3 greatest needs at least annually. Then focus on helping them in those areas.
9. After a kiss and warm greeting, give your spouse some down time & space when they first get home from work.
10. Recognize that your spouse is a gift to you from God, and treat him/her that way.
11. Realize that wives need emotional release & husbands need sexual release. Neither is wrong; you’re just different.
12. Learn to love your in-laws as an act of loving service to your spouse. Actions 1st.The feelings will follow.
13. Take him to his favorite sporting event once in a while. Just being there with him will mean a lot!
14. Take her to a place she typically enjoys w/her girlfriends (e.g.a tea room). Then engage in face-to-face conversation.
15. Send the kids to a friend’s house, buy chocolate syrup & whipped cream and get creative with each other!
16. Take some dance lessons together & have some fun. Don’t keep putting it off until “some day”.
17. Go to church together weekly & pray out loud together daily (before meals doesn’t count). Reduces divorce risk to ~1%

to be continued..

(Source: Twitter @MarriageMentor)

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Communication Between Couples

Many things can complicate a relationship, whether it be money, sex or infidelity. However, some of these problems can be traced to a single, crucial element of all relationships: communication. Learning how to listen and clearly convey your thoughts and feelings could make certain issues easier to handle and solve.

Listening With Patience
If your partner claims you often misunderstand him, brush up on your listening skills. According to Eboni J. Baugh and Deborah Humphries of the University of Florida, bad listening habits are difficult to break, but you can do so if you notice your own patterns. Jumping to conclusions or thinking of your response before your partner is done talking is detrimental to understanding the issues your partner is addressing. No need to rush. Feeling like you need to have a comeback as quickly as possible turns a simple discussion into a competitive argument. The goal is not to "win" but to come out learning something about yourself and your partner.

Be Clear And Upfront
If you often feel misunderstood in your relationship, don't assume your partner isn't listening. The problem may be in how clearly you express your emotions and ideas. Negative words and combative body language can easily cloud an argument with feelings of hostility. Try using neutral words and statements centered on "I" rather than "you." When you point the issue at the other person, she can easily feel attacked. Calmness, neutrality and openness can make a difficult subject easier to hear.

When And Where
Life can often get in the way of open communication. The key is finding the right time to have serious discussions. Make an appointment if you have to, and rid yourself of all distractions (phones and TVs off, kids in bed). The setting is important as well. Arguments in public can lead to an embarrassing scene so keep it behind closed doors.

Other Tips
To ensure your arguments will come to a solution and will not run in circles, stay on topic. It is tempting to stray from the main issue and bring up past transgressions, but leave them in the past. Don't quibble over dates, times and other small pieces of the story. If it won't help your point get across, move on. Remember that your and your partner's opinions are the only ones that matter. Just because your mom agrees with you, doesn't mean she has anything to do with this discussion. Focus on your own thoughts and feelings.

The Aftermath
Now that the discussion is over, let it rest. Compliment each other on how well you were able to communicate. When you and your partner focus on enhancing your communication skills and arguing productively, it is the first step in solving hard issues. Great communication might not fix everything, but you won't have much chance to solve things without it.


Saturday, 1 May 2010

How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

Relationships are always a challenge and they take a lot of time and dedication. This article will help you solve your relationship problems.

1. The main key to a relationship is communication. Relationships are nothing without good communication. When you and your spouse argue try not to yell. Just keep calm and explain how you feel and why you feel that way. Patience is a big part of communication. Let the other person speak without being interrupted.

2. Come up with a plan on how you are going to solve your problems. Lists help a lot. List all of the things you want to change about your relationship. Describe why you want it to change and how it could benefit your relationship in the future. Don't write down a list of all the things that annoy you about your spouse. This is about helping and growing in your relationship not accusing the other person of being wrong all the time.

3. After you have a list of things you think you should change about your relationship sit down with your spouse and discuss the list and figure out what should stay and what should go. Make compromises because that's what relationships are about. Work out your problems and talk about things like the future and your plans. Don't be stubborn and negotiate things.

- If you feel like yelling just say u need some time alone and take deep breaths
- Don't give up. Keep trying to solve your problems.


How to Break Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

If you're having trouble finding Mr. Right, it might be that you have too much old relationship  baggage. Because our external relationships mirror what's happening inside of us, it's smart to look *inward* to determine why you're getting the results you're getting. Let's take a look at how you can break those unhealthy relationship patterns and attract your one true love once and for all.

1. Take great care of yourself. This topic is given a lot of lip service, and it's likely that you already know it. But, what most people wind up doing is depriving themselves in the important ways and indulging themselves in the stuff that doesn't matter (like that chocolate bar that you "deserve"). Here's what I suggest: start accepting yourself exactly as you are and spoiling yourself with "the good stuff"--whether that's time to read that book you've been wanting to read, a long bath, or a heart-to-heart chat with a good friend. Taking care of yourself is actually about doing what's going to make you feel loved and cared for--not about indulging those desires that aren't always good for you.
2. Treat the people in your life better. Are you the kind of person who's on the phone with someone while you're out with someone else? Or do you give the person you're with your full attention? (You know the right answer here.) Are you the kind of person who makes eye contact with everyone in the grocery store, offers a smile, and sometimes a Hello or do you pretend you're the only person shopping the aisles? Do you say "thank you" at least several times a day? Aim to treat people really, really well, whether they're people you know or strangers. Believe it or not, how we treat other people is a big reflection on how much we value ourselves, and treating other people better is actually a really easy way to improve your self esteem which goes a long way towards breaking old relationship habits.
3. Forgive all your exes. Yes, even if he cheated on you with your best friend. Yes, even if he betrayed you horrifically and treated you badly. Forgive 'em all. This DOESN'T mean take them back, it just means let go of the relationship fully, release yourself from reliving it, and release your anger, bitterness, and disappointment about how things turn out. By truly releasing the past, and forgiving all your former flames once and for all... you'll be ready to truly break old patterns and find the love of your life.
4. Practice "open" posture. This means, shoulders back, head up, looking people in the eye with a smile, mimicking the body language of people who are warm and friendly. If you tend to hunch over and try to take up as little space as possible, practice embracing being seen and acknowledged. This open posture will come to you much more naturally now that you've followed step #3 and forgiven your exes--that's because you won't need all that armor you'd subconsciously been wearing.
5. Only accept the great guys. If you have a history of dating losers, there's really only one solution: stop dating losers. I know that sounds like an oversimplification, but you'll find that after you've been practicing the previous four steps, this will come much more easily to you. Once you've gotten in the habit of treating other people with kindness and compassion (and treating yourself the same) you'll KNOW with absolute certainty that you deserve this same level of respect and care. And that makes it much easier to hold out until you find the love of your life.

- It's easier than you might think to release old relationship baggage, but you have to do the work--you can't just plop in front of the TV with your ice cream and distract yourself.


How to Take a Relationship Break

Some couples decide to take a relationship break when things get tough. For some this works fine, for others it can be the end of their relationship. If you're taking a break in your relationship, then observe these 2 simple rules and avoid failing where so many do.

1. Decide what the purpose of taking time apart is. This should be obvious, but without discussing this you will fail to have a clear guide of acceptable behaviour while you're both apart from each other. The purpose of a relationship break should be to reflect upon the relationship itself. To do this whilst apart from each other, where things can be seen from a different perspective.

2. Make sure you're both clear on what is acceptable behaviour while spending time apart. Once you are both clear on what the purpose of the relationship break is, the expected behaviour should be discussed. This will avoid any surprises. For some people, putting a relationship on hold means they are suddenly single and free to do as they please. Other people assume that while a relationship is on ice, the ground rules of the relationship still need to be observed. If these two modes of behaviour take place, when you reunite you may find yourself with a bigger issue than you started out with.

3. Stick to the guidelines. If you both stick to the guidelines, any issues that need dealing with when you get back together after your break will be the old issues that plagued your relationship in the first place (which may seem insignificant when viewed with a fresh perspective) and not new issues risen from things that may have taken place during your time apart.
- Sit down together and take setting guidelines seriously. Not doing so can cost you your relationship. All it takes is a brief conversation.
- Not having a clear guideline of what constitutes acceptable behaviour whilst apart can create a breach of trust - an issue which your relationship may not


Friday, 23 April 2010

How to Express Love to a Spouse

Expressing love to a spouse is important for all couples, no matter how long they've been married. For newlyweds, it's important because the foundation for the rest of the marriage is laid at the beginning. For couples that have been married for a long time, effectively expressing love is equally as important. Becoming comfortable with one another can lead a spouse to believe that, since he has expressed his love many times over the years, it's not necessary to keep doing so. To avoid alienating or hurting your spouse, take time to deliberately express your love for her daily.

1. Cook your spouse's favorite food. Let him know you did it to make him feel loved and appreciated. This is a small, unselfish act that can show your spouse that, while you could have made something quick and easy for dinner, you purposefully thought of what would make him happy.

2. Agree to do an activity or go to a place he likes. If there's some place your spouse has been wanting to go, make plans to go there. Even if you would have rather gone somewhere else, do your best to genuinely have a good time. Tell your spouse you're glad you did.

3. Ask your spouse what words or actions make him feel loved. Then say or do those things. If you struggle to figure out what makes your spouse's love clock tick, just ask him. Your spouse may be pleasantly surprised and pleased at the simple fact that you're making an effort to show your love.

4. Give your spouse verbal praise in front of others. It's one thing to express love in private. However, public praise can have the benefit of boosting your spouse's self-confidence while letting others know how you feel about him. This is similar to the effect of the public declaration of your love that you made on your wedding day.

5. Look your spouse in the eye when he addresses you. This is a way of signifying that he matters to you and that you care about what matters to him. If you're watching a movie, playing a video game or reading a book when he addresses you, press pause or put the book down. Give him your full attention.


Creative Activities for Couples

After several years together, routine can set in and take a toll on a couple. What was once exciting and new can become mundane and somewhat boring. To liven up a relationship, couples should experiment with new activities and projects. Regardless of their interests and budgets, most couples can find new adventures to increase the quality of their time together.

Squirt Gun Fight
All you need is a group of friends and a set of squirt guns filled with colored water (food coloring usually works best). An inexpensive alternative to paint ball, the game is similar. Two teams, each with different-colored water, fight until only one person is left untouched by the other team. It's an ideal activity to help couples work together, spend time with friends and get outside when the weather gets warm. For a rematch, teams can change guns and play again.

Couples Projects
Homes are filled with chores and things that need to get done, fixed or put together. Spend a day or afternoon together checking these things off the to-do list. Put together a swing set, paint a room or figure out how to retile a kitchen backsplash. Not only can you complete a few tasks, but also by planning and purchasing ahead of time, the whole process brings couples together. Afterward, it offers a chance to celebrate.

Cooking Class
Widely available and usually budget-friendly, couples cooking classes are a fun way to learn a practical skill. Even those without a culinary bone in their bodies can find a class to fit their level. Start with a simple class for casual training or challenge yourselves with advanced meals and recipes; either way, you're guaranteed a unique bonding experience. This skill can be transferred to "real life," where couples can spend a night cooking together at home after strolling through markets shopping for ingredients. Most schools and community centers provide cooking classes, and most of their schedules can be found online.


Thursday, 15 April 2010

Ways to Increase Your Love

For most couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship, it can be a difficult transition once the "honeymoon" stage is over. The initial lust and butterflies in the stomach you once felt may have given way to a more laid-back, comfortable feeling with your significant other. It is normal for long-standing relationships to cool down after a while and this is when the real relationship building begins.

A good partnership is like tending to a pet - either you feed and nurture it, or bad things will happen. The small things you do become important. Daily habits help to forge strong relationships and marriages. It can be as simple as remembering to tell your partner "I love you," everyday.

If you are really serious about making your relationship work, there are several little rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life.

1. Talk To Each Other

Most relationship experts would agree that talking is the most important elements of a healthy partnership. Happy couples typically say their relationship works better when they can sit down one-on-one, share their feelings and work out their frustrations. Topics of discussion can extend past your relationship. Talk about work, how your day is going, or something funny that happened to you.

Many couples may complain that it is hard to find time in their busy day to have a daily couple's pow-wow. Well, it doesn't have to be an hour-long psych session each day. You simply have to set aside a few minutes for your special someone. For example, do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his/her day is going. By doing this, you will be more in sync when you reconnect after work.

If you have a pet dog, how about walking it together every night? The quiet time and fresh air can be your chance to focus on each other. If you have missed each other during the day, be sure to catch up at night right before going to bed. It is in this relaxed atmosphere that you can unwind and tell your partner about your busy day.

When you live together, you may automatically think you know everything about your lover. In reality though, it is very easy for life to get in the way if you don't take the time to connect with each other.

2. Flirt

Flirting isn't just for teenagers and couples on their first date. Part of a healthy sexual relationship involves flirting with each other everyday. And it doesn't just have to be a form of foreplay. Even on the nights when you are just too doggone tired to be intimate in bed, flirting can be a fun way to keep the zest in your relationship.

Don't be embarrassed about flirting in public either. Show off the strength of your relationship with a little PDA (public displays of affection). Walk hand in hand and try to steal a quick hug or kiss whenever you can. Most importantly, don't forget to say "I love you," as much as possible throughout the day.

3. Be Silly Together

Life is serious enough. Sometimes you just need to do something really silly. And if you can't do it with your significant other, who can you be silly with? When you find the time, try reliving your childhood by visiting an amusement park. Go on all the scary rides and eat all the sweets you can until your stomach can take no more.

For a daily ritual that you and your partner can share at home, try playing a game of Twister. The contorted positions you will find yourselves in will have you laughing in no time. Or kick back and watch a funny TV show that both of you enjoy. Whatever you do, the important thing is to laugh and have fun together.

4. Declare Your Independence

Remember that healthy relationships are made up of two independent people who have their own personalities and interests. It's not good for the relationship to be constantly joined at the hip. So also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. Peruse your own hobbies and interests.

Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner may not be able to fill for you. For example, if one of you likes sports and the other likes the arts, use your alone time to go to the gym or enroll in a painting class. At the end of your day, you will find that you have more to talk about. It will help bring freshness to the relationship, as you both continue to grow as people.

5. Cultivate Common Interests
Along with developing your personal interests, apart from one another, it is also essential to find something you can do together. The emphasis is on finding an activity you can both enjoy. Although your definition of fun may be going shopping, he may not enjoy being dragged along.

If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. Try working out at the gym together. Or take some classes together until you find something you both like. Maybe you'll both fall in love with cooking and connect each night by preparing dinner together.


Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Signs of A Healthy Relationship

As we continue our journey of life we get involved with several kinds of relationships. We develop a strong bond or get involved in a relationship with our family members, relatives, close associates and friends. However this article primarily focuses on the relationship of a couple. If you are deeply involved in a relationship, have you ever pondered over the thought that whether you share a healthy relationship with your partner or not? If not, try to spare a moment for yourself and consider this fact as maintaining a healthy relationship with your beloved. It would help you to enjoy life to the fullest. Look for the Signs Of A Healthy Relationship to judge, whether your relationship with your sweetheart is healthy. Given below are a few of the Signs Of A Healthy Relationship, which are: 

  • Feeling proud in each other’s achievements and encouraging each other in whatever he/she does.

  • Providing each other with support, strength and courage whenever one feels the need.

  • Making the best efforts to please one another.

  • Giving space to each other.

  • Solving of differences or conflicts in a peaceful manner.

  • Equal sharing of responsibilities.

  • Understanding each other without much communication.

  • Respecting each other’s needs.

  • Being able to talk freely with your partner.

  • Conveying love for each other.

  • Having trust in one another.

  • Being honest towards each other.

  • Enjoying good times together.

  • Taking active part in each other’s professional as well as personal life.


  • How to Make a Great Relationships

    You can make your life a roller coaster ride with a great and steady relationship. Relationships make one's life beautiful and loveable. Everyone wants to have great friend, caring relatives and loving partner. Relationship grows with time. On the other hand, it also undergoes great change with time. If you want to maintain a great relationship then you must follow a few significant tips.

    Tips and Ideas for Great Relationship

  • Friendship is the soul of any relationship. Friendship will make both of you free from any obligation. This is one of the major techniques of great relationship.

  • Feelings of your partner must be considered. Do not take your partner for granted. Talk about his/her dreams and offer your aid in making it true. This attitude will help you in making a great relationship.

  • You must act in a responsible manner. Everyone admires responsible person. Moreover, your responsible behavior will lead to great relationship.

  • The key for a successful relationship is fun. Existence of fun and enjoyment would result in great relationship.

  • Understanding is another significant component in the working of relationship. Both of you must understand each other for a great relationship.

  • Communication gap is one of the major causes for the failing of relationship. There must not be any communication gap for a successful relationship.

  • Spending quality time with your beloved is a great way to strengthen your relationship.

  • Attentiveness and romance are the key factors for a successful relationship.

  • Space is the major requirement in any relationship. Both of must give adequate space to each other. Source:

  • Monday, 5 April 2010

    How to Improve Your Communication Skills With Your Boyfriend

    Let's face it--like it or not--women tend to be the chattier of the sexes. But who wouldn't enjoy knowing her boyfriend a bit better? How can we girlfriends stack the cards in our favor? No more hiding the remote and hoping for the best, ladies. The keys to better communication may be easier than you think. 

    1. Be authentic. Telling your boyfriend how you truly feel is telling him who you are. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, then you're wasting both his time and yours. Don't distort yourself in order to be someone you think he wants. All that will accomplish is a watering down of your personality and, ultimately, your appeal.

    2. Exercise gentleness. Keeping a spirit of acceptance, empathy and non-judgment is key in hearing and being heard. Communication is about being open, and it's difficult to be open when you feel as if you could be hurt at any time. 

    3. Ask open-ended questions. Approaching your man with inquiries that illicit a simple "yes" or "no" response and then expecting a lengthy or in-depth conversation surely sets you up for disappointment. Delve into what's on his mind by asking him what he thinks, how he feels or why he's motivated by what he loves in life.

    4. Listen to your partner intently, and reflect what it is that you're hearing. This process is what mental health therapists call "mirroring." Imago Relationships International, a nonprofit counseling group, recommends ending with, "Did I get that?" or "Did I miss anything?" Summing up what your partner says, rather than interjecting your own view, is an excellent way to help him feel heard. When your boyfriend is feeling heard, he is more likely to open up and share even more with you. 

    5. Be willing to be vulnerable. Letting someone into your mind and heart takes courage--and practice. If he sees you opening up, he'll feel safer doing the same. Also feel free to acknowledge his bravery if he suddenly lets you in on a topic he hasn't in the past. He will feel comforted knowing that you could see how difficult that was for him. 

    6. Learn to stop arguments before they escalate. John Gottman, a psychologist who specializes in marriage and relationship counseling, states that successful repair and exit attempts are a major part of what separates the happy couples from those on rocky ground. According to his website, popular repair attempts include, "changing the topic to something completely unrelated; using humor; stroking your partner with a caring remark... and, in general, offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way.

    - A few well chosen words are more powerful than long diatribes. When talking with men, less is often more.
    - Choosing your moment is critical when approaching your boyfriend for serious discussions. Wait until he's not engrossed in something to let him know you'd like to talk.
    - Take an active interest to what matters most to him. Asking thoughtful questions about what he loves will only endear you to him.
    - Keep your body language open as this communicates a willingness to listen.
    - Threats may very well be the kiss of death when it comes to communicating inside relationships. Don't tell him you'll leave him, even in extreme anger, unless you are prepared to stand by that statement. Dropping that bomb and not following through will only erode the integrity of your word in his eyes. In the end, remember always to say what you mean and mean what you say.


    Wednesday, 24 March 2010

    Why Is Dating Important?

    In the past, arranged marriages were common, and families chose the appropriate husbands or wives for their children. As years passed, society has moved away from the arranged marriage concept to dating. Dating holds many advantages by allowing partners to evaluating both physical and emotional attraction between each other and showing potential red flags which may signal an unhealthy relationship . Dating may better prepare couples to make informed choices about long-term relationships and marriage.

    Common Interests

    One of the most obvious reasons people date is to find out what interests they share with the other person. The saying opposites attract doesn't hold much weight in the dating world. Each person should have their own interests, but if two people hate the activities the other one likes then they'll never find anything to do together. It also limits what a couple can talk about when interests fall on opposite ends.

    Life Goals

    Life goals may not seem important at the start of a relationship, but soon the couple should know what each person wants. Both short-term and long-term goals matter. For the short term, couples will want to know if both people want an exclusive relationship or if one prefers an open relationship. This in itself can make or break even a casual relationship. Later on if the relationship gets serious, couples should know what they both want to do in life. If a man wants children and a woman doesn't, this will cause stress on the relationship later on.


    Views on everything from religion to politics may play a part in a relationship. The important factor is not so much what each person believes, but how different these beliefs are and how devoted each person is to the beliefs. Two open-minded people from different religions may have no problems in a relationship. On the other hand, two people whose religions teach they should not date outside their religion may feel guilty or have trouble with the relationship.

    Red Flags

    Dating also shows someone what the other person acts like on a day-to-day basis. At the start of a relationship, a person may appear sweet and caring, but over time red flags can appear. An unhealthy relationship often shows more and more signs as time goes on, and dating allows people to watch out for these signs. Disrespect, emotional abuse, jealous tendencies and a person who angers easily and becomes aggressive are all red flags that signal an unhealthy relationship.

    Physical Attraction

    Finally, dating allows two people to judge their physical attraction to each other. Physical attraction alone will not make a healthy relationship, while a good personality alone does not guarantee happiness either. For a relationship to work, both people need to find the other interesting and attractive at the same time. Days may come where one person doesn't quite feel the spark, but it shouldn't go missing permanently.


    Monday, 15 March 2010

    How to Marry The Right Man

    Do you feel you have found the right man. Are you nervous about getting married. Are your friends telling you this is not the man for you and you want to be sure. Well here are some tips to help you out.

    1. Don't marry just for looks, marry for the personality as well. Don't get me wrong looks are important but you are going to be with this person for the rest of your life. We buy cars because of looks but every couple of years we trade it in.

    2. Watch how your man handles conflict not necessarily with you but with other people. How he treats other people is how he will treat you eventually. How does he talk to his parents on the phone if he can't respect his own parents how can he respect you.

    3. Watch how he interacts with children. One day you will want to have kids it will be helpful to know rather or not your man loves children. If you already have kids watch how he interacts with the kids.

    4. Does he clean up or do he expect you to clean up. This may be fine in the beginning but after a while you will get frustrated with cleaning up after every one in the house with no help. Your man can always say to you, when you married me you knew I didn't cook or clean so don't try to change me now. That's why you need to pay attention to what you want now.

    5. Write down everything you want in a man in a personal journal and review it every chance you get. Even have a picture of what you want him to look like as well. The law of attraction will draw what you want to you if you can visualize it enough.


    How to Become the Woman Your Man Really Wants

    You may have this sense that you are just not the woman your man wants; it continues to bother you and you are not sure what to do about it. You want to make changes, but are not sure how to proceed. Here are some thoughtful ideas on becoming the woman your man wants you to be, both internally and externally.

    1. Research his interests. Compile and review a list of the interests that your boyfriend/husband has. Think about how much time you take sharing these interests with him. If it is not much time, determine how you can change it. For example, if he loves basketball, get tickets for both of you to a game.

    2. Friendship comes first. Visit a bookstore or check out the Internet and read up on those interests. The more you can converse on topics of interests to him, the more opportunities for you to connect. The basis of a great relationship is friendship.

    3. List your assets. Take a personal inventory. Make a list of your interests and what makes you special. If you don't feel good about yourself, it will be difficult to become the woman that your man wants, or that any man wants. The key to becoming that person is to exude self-confidence. An assured woman is the kind of woman every man wants.

    4. Keep your options open. The most unattractive thing to a man is a woman who believes that she desperately needs him and only him. Keep your own life, your own interests and make it clear that you have your options open.

    5. Take good care of yourself. Making yourself look terrific sends a message about how you feel about yourself and the world. Take the time for good grooming, and to make yourself feel extra special; buying yourself a fantastic outfit or treating yourself to a spa day should do the trick.


    How to Make a Relationship More Romantic

    Relationships are borne out of caring and nurturing acts. Relationship beginnings come naturally and are laden with romantic expressions and settings. Love relationships thrive on intimacy and romance is a big part of that. Making your relationship more romantic is all about recreating the world that first brought your relationship together.

    1. Create a relaxed environment. Stress, activity and tension are not conducive to romance. Creating a relaxed living environment, or bedroom environment is important. Loud color schemes and clutter tend to keep the atmosphere on edge. Dimmer lighting may help a loud color scheme while candlelight is even better. Being able to come home to a relaxed environment is a good first step towards relief from the stresses and tensions of the day.

    2. Elicit and maintain eye contact. That well known saying, “The eyes are the windows of the soul,” is a pretty accurate road map when it comes to drawing out your partner’s genuine self. Eye contact is an instinctual and sensual experience that creates an intimacy all its own. Eye contact is something that can be practiced throughout the day, not just when there’s time for romance. Establishing a connection, or vibe is where romance begins. Eye contact makes this easy to do.

    3. Give and encourage touch. Love pats, and soft caresses can go a long way towards creating romance in your relationship. Romance is as much about promoting innocent touches as it is the more sensual ones. Touch is another way of connecting with your partner, similar to eye contact, but through a different set of senses. Gentle and even casual touches throughout day keeps that romantic connection alive.

    4. Talk about and nurture each others' interests. Words spoken can create a mood and destroy a mood quicker than anything else that goes on in your relationship. Use words, and what you talk about to each other, to your advantage. Asking questions about the things your partner is interested in, initiating activities your partner enjoys or just listening to him or her talk brings you closer together. Expressing an interest in your partner for who they are breeds intimacy and intimacy invites romance.

    5. Laugh as often as possible. Romance in a relationship doesn’t have to be confined to certain times, or scheduled circumstances. Having fun together, even if you’re doing yard work, or painting the house, is a good way to maintain closeness in your relationship. A romantic relationship is something that’s nurtured in simple caring ways whenever two people are together. Not unlike your courting days when everything was fresh and new, romance can come naturally. Laughing as often as possible eases your time together and allows romance to bloom.


    Sunday, 14 March 2010

    Advice on Relationships

    Every relationship is unique, with its own rhythms and cadences based on the two people involved. But no relationship survives on auto-pilot. Both parties need to work toward making each other happy, commit to the relationship as a whole, and acknowledge their needs as individuals as well as a couple. The specifics may differ, but the basics never change. By applying a few simple tips, you can make the road to happiness much easier to travel.


    1. Couples who don't talk to each other are usually doomed. For a relationship to flourish, the two parties must maintain open lines of communication. They need to be able to speak openly and respectfully about their feelings, without bottling them up. When problems arise, they need to discuss them. When one partner needs a break or a little support, he or she should ask for it. Communication should be a two-way street. You need to listen when your partner has something to say and should expect the same treatment in kind. Openness between the two of you can't help but strengthen your bonds.
    2. Friendship

    3. Romance is the spice of life, but a relationship needs to thrive on more than candlelit dinners and walks in the moonlight. Sooner or later, you're going to be sitting on the couch with each other on a dull night without much to do. If your relationship contains as much friendship as romantic attraction, that won't be a problem. You'll be able to chat with each other about interesting things, participate in different activities together and just enjoy each other's company. As with most aspects of a relationship, friendship needs to come from both parties. Be a reliable and supportive friend to your partner and your partner should do the same for you.
    4. Goals

    5. When entering into a relationship, it helps to define the goals you have for it. This includes both broader, long-term goals and simpler, more immediate goals. You should discuss them with your partner as the relationship is forming and make sure you both have compatible goals. Then, as the relationship grows, think about ways you can move toward those goals. Look at the big stuff and the ways you're both planning for it, then find little things you can do each day to make the process easier. Let your partner know that you appreciate his or her efforts, for example, or surprise him or her with a little present every now and then. Those little steps matter, and move you closer to achieving your goals as much as the bigger ones do.


    Thursday, 11 March 2010

    How to Create a Romantic Date

    You know someone fascinating and beautiful, someone who ignites your desire for passion, and they feel the same about you. You've asked her out on a date, and she's accepted. Now you have to plan the details of your romantic date. No matter how much money you have, your personality and experience, or your limitations, it is possible for you to create a romantic and memorable date to express your love and appreciation for that special someone.

    1. Check your budget. Calculate how much money you can spend and avoid going over that amount.
    You may want to take your date to a five-star restaurant or out on the lake in a yacht. However, if your budget constraints means you can only afford a trip to the the movie theater or local coffee shop, with a little ingenuity you still have the opportunity to give your date a memorable experience.

    2. Know your date's interests and personality. Extroverts enjoy crowded places and energetic conversations, while introverts often prefer quiet, intimate surroundings and activities that require a minimum of contact with strangers. If your date enjoys the outdoors, consider taking a hike through a local park or putting on some boots to go creek-hiking. If your date is an artist, consider a local poetry reading, museum or art show.

    3. Set a location. Avoid the awkward, indecisive moment of deciding where to go after meeting your date by deciding a location beforehand. If you're going to a popular restaurant, make reservations at least an hour in advance. If you're going to a location outdoors, create a backup plan in case of bad weather. Consider staying at home and making a home-cooked meal, but only if you know your date well and you've established a rapport of trust.

    4. Give a personal gift. Use your creative talents to make the date memorable. If you're a wordsmith, write a poem or a short story for your date. If you're a musician, compose a song. You can also try making a flower arrangement, baking a dessert or mixing your own margaritas. Your date will appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness gone into crafting a personal gift.

    5. Lose all expectations. Get rid of any preconceived notions of what a romantic date should be and enjoy the moment. Avoid the mentality that your date owes you anything for your efforts or that a romantic outing should be a fairytale experience. Be prepared for any unscheduled changes in your plans. The focus should be on the person with you and not the surroundings.


    How to Know if Someone Likes You Romantically

    This is one of the most annoying things to have popping up in your mind all the time. You want to find out, but don't know how to go about doing it. Sometimes the direct approach is best--just ask. But if that seems too bold for your liking, look for the following signs.


    1. Pay attention to your conversations with the person in question. Does this person show a special interest in having a conversation with you and, once started, make an effort to keep that conversation going?

    2. Is this person "accidentally" running into you in places where he or she knows you will be, such as at your desk? At the Laundromat on Tuesdays? At your brother's birthday party?

    3. Make a note if he or she mentions future plans to spend time with you: "That band is coming to town soon. We should really get tickets."

    4. Spend time alone together. Canceling other plans in order to be with you longer, or not finding excuses to leave, could be a sign of interest.

    5. Has he or she been calling for random reasons, such as, "I was wondering if you knew what that pizza place down the street is called," followed by, "Are you hungry?"

    6. Has this person taken a sudden interest in your life and hobbies? This is a sure sign that he or she is interested in something - and it's probably not your stamp collection.

    7. Observe how the person acts around your friends - he or she might be extra friendly to your closest pals for a reason.

    Body Language:

    1. Sometimes seeing someone you have a crush on results in telltale physiological signs. Does the person in question blush when you look at him or her? His or her sympathetic nervous system is probably going into overdrive. Does he or she have trouble speaking, using jumbled words when talking to you?

    2. See if the person in question mirrors your motions: When you lean back, he or she leans back; when you put your elbows on the table, he or she does the same.

    3. Note whether this person sits or stands in the open position - that is, facing you with arms uncrossed. In addition, a woman tends to cross her legs in a man's direction.

    4. Does he or she move closer to you and/or touch you subtly, such as with a pat of your hand or a touch of your cheek?

    5. Other elements of body language include frequent eye contact, holding your gaze and looking down before looking away, energetic speech coupled with open hands, and flashing palms.

    6. Does the person you're wondering about just plain smile at you a lot?