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Saturday, 25 September 2010
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Saturday, 1 May 2010
1. The main key to a relationship is communication. Relationships are nothing without good communication. When you and your spouse argue try not to yell. Just keep calm and explain how you feel and why you feel that way. Patience is a big part of communication. Let the other person speak without being interrupted.
2. Come up with a plan on how you are going to solve your problems. Lists help a lot. List all of the things you want to change about your relationship. Describe why you want it to change and how it could benefit your relationship in the future. Don't write down a list of all the things that annoy you about your spouse. This is about helping and growing in your relationship not accusing the other person of being wrong all the time.
3. After you have a list of things you think you should change about your relationship sit down with your spouse and discuss the list and figure out what should stay and what should go. Make compromises because that's what relationships are about. Work out your problems and talk about things like the future and your plans. Don't be stubborn and negotiate things.
- If you feel like yelling just say u need some time alone and take deep breaths
- Don't give up. Keep trying to solve your problems.
1. Take great care of yourself. This topic is given a lot of lip service, and it's likely that you already know it. But, what most people wind up doing is depriving themselves in the important ways and indulging themselves in the stuff that doesn't matter (like that chocolate bar that you "deserve"). Here's what I suggest: start accepting yourself exactly as you are and spoiling yourself with "the good stuff"--whether that's time to read that book you've been wanting to read, a long bath, or a heart-to-heart chat with a good friend. Taking care of yourself is actually about doing what's going to make you feel loved and cared for--not about indulging those desires that aren't always good for you.
2. Treat the people in your life better. Are you the kind of person who's on the phone with someone while you're out with someone else? Or do you give the person you're with your full attention? (You know the right answer here.) Are you the kind of person who makes eye contact with everyone in the grocery store, offers a smile, and sometimes a Hello or do you pretend you're the only person shopping the aisles? Do you say "thank you" at least several times a day? Aim to treat people really, really well, whether they're people you know or strangers. Believe it or not, how we treat other people is a big reflection on how much we value ourselves, and treating other people better is actually a really easy way to improve your self esteem which goes a long way towards breaking old relationship habits.
3. Forgive all your exes. Yes, even if he cheated on you with your best friend. Yes, even if he betrayed you horrifically and treated you badly. Forgive 'em all. This DOESN'T mean take them back, it just means let go of the relationship fully, release yourself from reliving it, and release your anger, bitterness, and disappointment about how things turn out. By truly releasing the past, and forgiving all your former flames once and for all... you'll be ready to truly break old patterns and find the love of your life.
4. Practice "open" posture. This means, shoulders back, head up, looking people in the eye with a smile, mimicking the body language of people who are warm and friendly. If you tend to hunch over and try to take up as little space as possible, practice embracing being seen and acknowledged. This open posture will come to you much more naturally now that you've followed step #3 and forgiven your exes--that's because you won't need all that armor you'd subconsciously been wearing.
5. Only accept the great guys. If you have a history of dating losers, there's really only one solution: stop dating losers. I know that sounds like an oversimplification, but you'll find that after you've been practicing the previous four steps, this will come much more easily to you. Once you've gotten in the habit of treating other people with kindness and compassion (and treating yourself the same) you'll KNOW with absolute certainty that you deserve this same level of respect and care. And that makes it much easier to hold out until you find the love of your life.
- It's easier than you might think to release old relationship baggage, but you have to do the work--you can't just plop in front of the TV with your ice cream and distract yourself.
1. Decide what the purpose of taking time apart is. This should be obvious, but without discussing this you will fail to have a clear guide of acceptable behaviour while you're both apart from each other. The purpose of a relationship break should be to reflect upon the relationship itself. To do this whilst apart from each other, where things can be seen from a different perspective.
2. Make sure you're both clear on what is acceptable behaviour while spending time apart. Once you are both clear on what the purpose of the relationship break is, the expected behaviour should be discussed. This will avoid any surprises. For some people, putting a relationship on hold means they are suddenly single and free to do as they please. Other people assume that while a relationship is on ice, the ground rules of the relationship still need to be observed. If these two modes of behaviour take place, when you reunite you may find yourself with a bigger issue than you started out with.
3. Stick to the guidelines. If you both stick to the guidelines, any issues that need dealing with when you get back together after your break will be the old issues that plagued your relationship in the first place (which may seem insignificant when viewed with a fresh perspective) and not new issues risen from things that may have taken place during your time apart.
Friday, 23 April 2010
1. Cook your spouse's favorite food. Let him know you did it to make him feel loved and appreciated. This is a small, unselfish act that can show your spouse that, while you could have made something quick and easy for dinner, you purposefully thought of what would make him happy.
2. Agree to do an activity or go to a place he likes. If there's some place your spouse has been wanting to go, make plans to go there. Even if you would have rather gone somewhere else, do your best to genuinely have a good time. Tell your spouse you're glad you did.
3. Ask your spouse what words or actions make him feel loved. Then say or do those things. If you struggle to figure out what makes your spouse's love clock tick, just ask him. Your spouse may be pleasantly surprised and pleased at the simple fact that you're making an effort to show your love.
4. Give your spouse verbal praise in front of others. It's one thing to express love in private. However, public praise can have the benefit of boosting your spouse's self-confidence while letting others know how you feel about him. This is similar to the effect of the public declaration of your love that you made on your wedding day.
5. Look your spouse in the eye when he addresses you. This is a way of signifying that he matters to you and that you care about what matters to him. If you're watching a movie, playing a video game or reading a book when he addresses you, press pause or put the book down. Give him your full attention.
Squirt Gun Fight
All you need is a group of friends and a set of squirt guns filled with colored water (food coloring usually works best). An inexpensive alternative to paint ball, the game is similar. Two teams, each with different-colored water, fight until only one person is left untouched by the other team. It's an ideal activity to help couples work together, spend time with friends and get outside when the weather gets warm. For a rematch, teams can change guns and play again.
Homes are filled with chores and things that need to get done, fixed or put together. Spend a day or afternoon together checking these things off the to-do list. Put together a swing set, paint a room or figure out how to retile a kitchen backsplash. Not only can you complete a few tasks, but also by planning and purchasing ahead of time, the whole process brings couples together. Afterward, it offers a chance to celebrate.
Widely available and usually budget-friendly, couples cooking classes are a fun way to learn a practical skill. Even those without a culinary bone in their bodies can find a class to fit their level. Start with a simple class for casual training or challenge yourselves with advanced meals and recipes; either way, you're guaranteed a unique bonding experience. This skill can be transferred to "real life," where couples can spend a night cooking together at home after strolling through markets shopping for ingredients. Most schools and community centers provide cooking classes, and most of their schedules can be found online.
Thursday, 15 April 2010
A good partnership is like tending to a pet - either you feed and nurture it, or bad things will happen. The small things you do become important. Daily habits help to forge strong relationships and marriages. It can be as simple as remembering to tell your partner "I love you," everyday.
If you are really serious about making your relationship work, there are several little rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life.
1. Talk To Each Other
Most relationship experts would agree that talking is the most important elements of a healthy partnership. Happy couples typically say their relationship works better when they can sit down one-on-one, share their feelings and work out their frustrations. Topics of discussion can extend past your relationship. Talk about work, how your day is going, or something funny that happened to you.
Many couples may complain that it is hard to find time in their busy day to have a daily couple's pow-wow. Well, it doesn't have to be an hour-long psych session each day. You simply have to set aside a few minutes for your special someone. For example, do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his/her day is going. By doing this, you will be more in sync when you reconnect after work.
If you have a pet dog, how about walking it together every night? The quiet time and fresh air can be your chance to focus on each other. If you have missed each other during the day, be sure to catch up at night right before going to bed. It is in this relaxed atmosphere that you can unwind and tell your partner about your busy day.
When you live together, you may automatically think you know everything about your lover. In reality though, it is very easy for life to get in the way if you don't take the time to connect with each other.
Flirting isn't just for teenagers and couples on their first date. Part of a healthy sexual relationship involves flirting with each other everyday. And it doesn't just have to be a form of foreplay. Even on the nights when you are just too doggone tired to be intimate in bed, flirting can be a fun way to keep the zest in your relationship.
Don't be embarrassed about flirting in public either. Show off the strength of your relationship with a little PDA (public displays of affection). Walk hand in hand and try to steal a quick hug or kiss whenever you can. Most importantly, don't forget to say "I love you," as much as possible throughout the day.
3. Be Silly Together
Life is serious enough. Sometimes you just need to do something really silly. And if you can't do it with your significant other, who can you be silly with? When you find the time, try reliving your childhood by visiting an amusement park. Go on all the scary rides and eat all the sweets you can until your stomach can take no more.
For a daily ritual that you and your partner can share at home, try playing a game of Twister. The contorted positions you will find yourselves in will have you laughing in no time. Or kick back and watch a funny TV show that both of you enjoy. Whatever you do, the important thing is to laugh and have fun together.
4. Declare Your Independence
Remember that healthy relationships are made up of two independent people who have their own personalities and interests. It's not good for the relationship to be constantly joined at the hip. So also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. Peruse your own hobbies and interests.
Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner may not be able to fill for you. For example, if one of you likes sports and the other likes the arts, use your alone time to go to the gym or enroll in a painting class. At the end of your day, you will find that you have more to talk about. It will help bring freshness to the relationship, as you both continue to grow as people.
5. Cultivate Common Interests
Along with developing your personal interests, apart from one another, it is also essential to find something you can do together. The emphasis is on finding an activity you can both enjoy. Although your definition of fun may be going shopping, he may not enjoy being dragged along.
If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. Try working out at the gym together. Or take some classes together until you find something you both like. Maybe you'll both fall in love with cooking and connect each night by preparing dinner together.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Monday, 5 April 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
In the past, arranged marriages were common, and families chose the appropriate husbands or wives for their children. As years passed, society has moved away from the arranged marriage concept to dating. Dating holds many advantages by allowing partners to evaluating both physical and emotional attraction between each other and showing potential red flags which may signal an unhealthy relationship
One of the most obvious reasons people date is to find out what interests they share with the other person. The saying opposites attract doesn't hold much weight in the dating world. Each person should have their own interests, but if two people hate the activities the other one likes then they'll never find anything to do together. It also limits what a couple can talk about when interests fall on opposite ends.
Life goals may not seem important at the start of a relationship, but soon the couple should know what each person wants. Both short-term and long-term goals matter. For the short term, couples will want to know if both people want an exclusive relationship or if one prefers an open relationship. This in itself can make or break even a casual relationship. Later on if the relationship gets serious, couples should know what they both want to do in life. If a man wants children and a woman doesn't, this will cause stress on the relationship later on.
Views on everything from religion to politics may play a part in a relationship. The important factor is not so much what each person believes, but how different these beliefs are and how devoted each person is to the beliefs. Two open-minded people from different religions may have no problems in a relationship. On the other hand, two people whose religions teach they should not date outside their religion may feel guilty or have trouble with the relationship.
Dating also shows someone what the other person acts like on a day-to-day basis. At the start of a relationship, a person may appear sweet and caring, but over time red flags can appear. An unhealthy relationship often shows more and more signs as time goes on, and dating allows people to watch out for these signs. Disrespect, emotional abuse, jealous tendencies and a person who angers easily and becomes aggressive are all red flags that signal an unhealthy relationship.
Finally, dating allows two people to judge their physical attraction to each other. Physical attraction alone will not make a