ice tea and sugar's fan box
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
If you know someone who likes guns, you can easily convince them to take you shooting. There are usually indoor shooting ranges if you live in a place where you don’t have an outdoor range nearby. You can take it one step farther and do some sort of “gun safety” class before shooting as part of the date.
This is another thing that you can do MUCH better now that you’re older. In High School, we’d toiletpaper our teachers houses and people we didn’t like. But it’s a good trick even for people you do like.
This is another big hobby for a lot of people. Flying a model rocket can be done for under $20 (but obviously, some people get much more elaborate). If you are lucky enough to find an event, you can see hundreds of these of varying complexity. But if not, it’s still fun to pick up a starter kit at a hobby shop and build one together then fly it a few times.
If you don’t have access to a remote control airplane (I know I wouldn’t let you fly mine if you didn’t already know how!) you can go to mini-airports where enthusiasts gather all of the time to fly these things. It’s a pretty big hobby for some people, so it’s cool to see what they’ve done with it.
There’s a lot more in hot air ballooning than you would think (they’re harder to fly than an airplane) so it’s hard to get someone to take you up. But if you’re lucky, this can be a really fun adventure. If not, they have hot air balloon events where you can watch dozens of them take off at once.
Lots of people get in to riding ATVs and Motorcycles and camping for days on end at the Sand Dunes. It doesn’t hurt AS bad if you wreck on sand, so there are some pretty crazy people you can watch (or be)
There are lots of cool things to be seen if you’re a tourist outside of your state/country. In Arizona we like to go to Mexico because it’s not too far away and it’s quite a cultural experience.
You probably thought of this one without our list, but here it is anyway. Here in Arizona there are lots of little hills and mountains nearby that can make for a decent 2-3 hour hike
Again, a date that’s probably more for the guy than the girl. You can buy all of the parts you need to build a potato gun for less than 20 bucks (ammunition included!) which is a couple of PVC pipes and an ignition source (like a lantern lighter and hairspray). Good fun — a decent potato gun will go 50 yards. You can find instructions all over the internet.
Rope swings can be great fun. Lots of lakes and rivers have already built rope swings (make sure they’re safe!) but you can build your own pretty easily. It’s especially fun if it’s in to water (you could do it when you go cliff diving)
Now that you’re older, you can probably engineer a really cool treehouse or fort. Wood isn’t TOO expensive, and if you already have the tools, you can make a pretty sweet club house either in your back yard or even out in the woods somewhere.
It takes the right kind of girl to go paintballing with you, and it helps to have the gear, but this can be a highly adventurous and fun activity. And you definitely need a group.
Most places don’t care as long as you’re quiet. It’s pretty easy to stroll in and park as if you are checking in and then sneaking back to the pool area. Have your swimsuit on under your clothes, then just strip down and hop in! Many “ritzy” resort style hotels have some really sweet pools.
Ask around and you can probably find a nearby lake or river that’s well known for cliff jumping. Usually better in a group and definitely a daytime activity. Combine this with a picnic or barbeque and you have yourself a party!
Most people don’t think of this as a date, but it’s great for a group. If you know someone with a boat, you can go water skiing, tubing, wakeboarding, knee boarding, etc. etc. at a nearby lake.
There are rivers of varying speed and rapid-ness just about everywhere. Grab a tube or raft, some drinks and maybe some music and hit the river! Make SURE to bring sun screen.
Every state seems to have a small town that is well known for tourism. In Arizona, it’s Sedona where you can see red rocks and check out all kinds of neat little shops and trails. There are others in other places – go look for them!
Camping is a blast with friends. Be sure you’ve got all the gear you need, and bring along card games, board games, snacks and lots of wood for building a giant bonfire. If you don’t want to camp overnight, grab a campsite (or if you’re in arizona, the desert works fine!) and build a giant fire for a few hours.
Sunday, 20 September 2009
1. Get a hobby
Sounds simple enough, but the truth is many of us get so used to our routines that we never get passed the "I wish I knew how to..." stage. Now is the time to take action! If you've spent years thinking guitar players are so cool and wanting to be one, buy an inexpensive guitar start taking lessons. Hint: You can even find them online! If you've delighted in gourmet meals courtesy of your parents' picking up the tab, get a cook book and teach yourself a few kitchen tricks. Naked Chef Jamie Oliver is a personal favorite for gourmet meals that are simple to make (after all, his idea was that any of his college drinking buddies could follow his recipes). No matter what the thing is you've wanted to do, do it! You'll get loads of pleasure out of the experience - and the experience of taking initiative. Your new hobby (and feeding your spirit) will be there in or out of your relationship and will help you remain a whole person when you do become half of a couple!
2. Learn to take care of yourself
Guys may not care to know how to sew buttons (girls may not either, but you get the point). Likewise, females may not be interested in hooking up computer hard drives. But the thing is, if you know how to do everything you need to do to take care of yourself and run your household, rather than just assuming someday someone will come along and do it for you, you'll be in a lot better position. First of all, you'll get a lot more done around the house and have a lot less reason to panic or stress. Secondly, self-reliance is incredibly attractive. Nobody wants a needy, ineffective mate, but one who can show you a thing or two sounds pretty darn sexy! After all, there's got to be some logic behind all the pics of pinups with power tools!
3. Travel alone
While some of us may be scared at the prospect of spending any period of time on our own (let alone in an unfamiliar place), one of the most life-changing and enriching experiences that can be had is traveling alone. As one dating expert puts it: "Whether you're trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can't get any other way." Set in this scenario, you've got no choice but to make decisions by yourself based on what you want. Another huge self-reliance builder (see above)! Just be sure to keep someone back at home advised of your whereabouts - which has never been easier than in the email age - then get up and go!
4. Be single
No kidding. These days there is so much pressure to settle down and find "the one" that we tend to lose out on the experience of being alone. Learning to enjoy your own company is a priceless right of passage and one that will serve you well on your journey. Remain out of a relationship for at least three months advises one dating guru, and you may surprise yourself at what you learn about yourself. The serial monogamy that has become all too common in our culture may be doing you a disservice!
5. Celebrate you
Now is the time to find what you like about yourself. Stop finding all your flaws and see your strengths. You do have them, and the best way to attract someone is to bask in them - not brag about them, but really know they're there! When you feel good about you, it shows.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
2. Be more affectionate: face it, women tend to need more physical attention; genle kisses on the cheek; touch her face; hug her; all just because.
3. Sweets: women tend to have an extra sweet tooth; bring her home her favorite candy, pastry, or dessert. Remember chocolate contains Phenylethylamine, which is a chemical that gets released in the brain when you're in love (plus it helps her reach her 'O')- find chocolates that are 40% to 70% cocoa.
4. Small gifts: find little things that remind you of her, she'll appreciate it plus she'll know you were thinking about her; magazines at the check out counter; cell phone accessories that she's been wanting; the book, CD, or DVD, that she's been dying to get her hands one
5. Surprise her: little surprises that show her you were thinking about her during the day; send her flowers at home or work
2. Say "I love you" with music: compile a CD of love songs or of his favorite songs and slip it into his car; buy that CD he's had his eye on; write him a song or poem
3. Be crafty: make him something that you know he'll love; customize a calendar with pictures, highlighting special days with his favorite sports team
4. Do him a favor: do something that he normally does or wants to get done before he has the change; get his watch polished for him; get tickets for that movie he's been dying to see; write him a coupon to get out of his chores for the day
5. Prepare a romantic dinner: get the kids out of the house, and dine with style; makes favorite meal and finish off with his favorite dessert
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
1. Will Not Give You Their Home Phone Number
2. Never Invite You Over to Their Home
3. Evasiveness About Career, Family, and Background
4. Suddenly Changes Plans
5. Sudden Changes in Appearance
6. Insists On Meeting At Odd Times and Places
7. Often Unreachable
9. Hang-Up Calls at Home
10. Changes in Sexual Relationship
Sunday, 23 August 2009
DO take her to a cozy coffee shop or out for a drink and appetizers on your first date. These spots allow you to actually talk and get to know one another over a few drinks or bite to eat. There's nothing worse than taking a first date to a movie where you can't talk or a 5-course meal that you can't get out of if the date goes badly. Go into the date with thinking positive that it will go well, but with an out in the back of your mind in case it doesn't.
DON'T take him/her to a place you've never been previously. Select a place that you're familiar with ahead of time, which will allow you to fully focus on your date rather than worry about the food, the ambience, or the wait staff.
DO get creative with your date ideas. Plan something out of the ordinary rather than your standard dinner date. Find out what he/she is interested in and take that into consideration. Look in your local entertainment guide for ideas on upcoming events. If you're stumped for ideas, check out our huge list of romantic date ideas.
DON'T be late. Whether you're picking up your date or meeting there, make sure that you arrive on time. Arriving late (unless there are unavoidable circumstances) is a good way to ensure that a first date does not turn into a second one. If you are going to be late for any reason at all, call your date ahead of time and let them know.
DO pay attention to your appearance. Research shows that within three seconds of meeting someone, you are evaluated, even if it's just a glance. Once a first impression is made, it's virtually irreversible, so make it a good one. Pay attention to your clothing and general cleanliness, making sure that you appear put together, clean, and neat.
DO compliment your date. Women (and men for that matter) appreciate complements. Tell her that she looks pretty or that you like her smile. Tell him that he smells nice or looks great.
DON'T look away during the conversation. Keeping eye contact is a sign that you're interested in him/her and what they have to say.
DO turn your cell phone off or on vibrate. Answering your phone will on a date is the epitome of rudeness.
DON'T talk about yourself the entire time. Ask your date questions about him/her self and share your own thoughts and stories when appropriate. Remember that balance in conversation is the key. The point is for both of you to get to know one another.
DO insist on ordering and sharing a dessert. Most women won't order dessert, but sharing one with a date can be super sexy. Go for something chocolate -- it's a favorite among women, plus it's an aphrodisiac.
DON'T go overboard with jokes. Everyone appreciates a little humor -- it lightens the mood and makes you smile -- but too many jokes makes it seem like you're trying too hard.
DO touch and flirt. Give a smile, gently touch her arm, or hold his hand. These acts show that you're interested and bring about a sense of intimacy.
DON'T be overbearing. Ask what he/she wants whether it's a drink, a movie, or a restaurant.
DO be a gentleman -- open the doors, pull out her chair, and be polite to the wait staff. A little old fashioned chivalry makes a woman swoon.
DON'T talk about past relationships. This conversation is often a first date killer for both women and men.
DO suggest continuing the date if it's going well. If you went out for a drink, invite him/her to dinner or a club. You may want to suggest going for a short walk afterwards. If your date is going well, a walk under the stars holding hands only adds to the romance.
DON'T get too touchy-feely. Holding hands is perfect for a first date. Anything more than that may be a bit overbearing.
DON'T invite them back to your place on the first date. Even if the date went really, really well, it's better to save this for at least date number three.
DO walk her to the door when the date is over. If it went well, give her a kiss, but keep it light. It will leave him/her wanting more.
DON'T ask for his/her number if you're not going to call. It's rude and can leave your date with hurt feelings.
Ek is lief vir jou.
Ek het jou lief.
Ich hoan dich gear.
With your thumb, index and pinky fingers extended, middle and ring fingers folded down (combined signs for I, L, and Y).
-- American Sign Language
Ana Behibak (to a male).
Ana Behibek (to a female) .
Sirem zk 'ez.
Holong rohangku di ho.
I mog di narrisch gern.
Ami tomAy bhAlobAshi.
Namumutan ta ka.
kh_nhaum soro_lahn nhee_ah.
Bon sro lanh oon.
Ngo oi ney.
Wo ie ni.
Mi aime jou.
Jeg elsker dig.
Ik hou van jou.
-- Ecuador Quechua
I love you.
Mi amas vin.
Mina armastan sind.
Tora dust midaram.
Min� rakastan sinua.
Ik zie oe geerne.
Ik ha^ld fan dy.
Ta gra agam ort.
Me shen mikvarxar.
Ich liebe dich.
Tane Prem Karoo Choo.
Mandi komova toot.
-- Gypsy or Romany
Aloha wau ia oe.
aNEE oHEIVET oTKHA (female to male).
aNEE oHEIV otAKH (male to female).
Ani ohev at (man to woman).
Ani ohevet atah (woman to man).
Mein Tumse Pyar Karta Hoon.
Kuv Hlub Koj
-- Hmong (Laos)
Wa ai lu.
Nu' umi unangwa'ta.
Eg elska �ig.
Mai tumase pyar karata hun (to female) or Mai tumase pyar karati hun (to male).
Saya cinta padamu.
Taim i' ngra leat.
Beko ai anata.
Kimi o ai shiteru.
Men seny jaksy kuremyn.
Tangsinul sarang ha yo.
Ez te hezdikhem.
Khoi huk chau.
Ego Te amo.
Es tev milu.
As tave myliu.
Saya cintakan awak.
Wo ai ni.
Jeg elsker deg.
Muje se mu habbat hai.
Tora dost daram.
Ie ovele ouye.
-- Pig Latin
Eu te amo.
-- Portuguese (Brazil)
-- Portuguese (Portugal)
Ya tebya lyublu.
O te alofa ya te oe.
Taham twan sneham karomi.
Tha gra\dh agam ort.
-- Scot Gaelic
Jag alskar dig.
Ch'ha di g�rn
Bhebbek (to female) or Bhebbak (to male).
Ua Here Vau la Oe.
Gwa ai lee.
Pom rak khun.
Ha eh bak.
Ya vas lublu.
Ik hou van jou.
Wani ra yana ro aisha.
Rwy'n dy garu di.
Ikh hob dikh lib.
Ja te volim.
Ngi ya thandela wena.
Tom ho' ichema
Tom ho' ichema
Friday, 21 August 2009
Chocolate is like a bandaid. It can make your problems feel much better for awhile until it falls off or you run out.
The one who loves you will not make you cry alone at night thinking about him/her. They will be right beside you telling you it will be alright.
My life have taught me one vital thing and that is: I came into this world alone. I shall leave it alone. And, if I have to live in it alone, so be it! I contend to live it in peace with myself.
Kisses are not promises.
Let go of what is gone and hold on to what you have.
You cannot change anybody but yourself so don't try to change your partner. Love him/her as he/she is. You'll get better results.
Love is action; not just a feeling.
Be happy that you are friends rather than cry because that's all you'll ever be?
A real man doesn't make love to a million women. A real man makes love to one women a million ways.
Immature love says "I love you because I need you". Mature love says "I need you because I love you".
The way to love anything, is to realize it can be lost.
If you want to be successful in life, be a wise. If you want to be successful in love, be foolish.
Some people are like crystal. Pretty to look at, but you can see right through them.
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Remember: Whatever happens, happens for a reason.
They say forgive and forget, but if someone is worth forgiving then you'll never forget them.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.
Love is accepting, not expecting.
You think you look strong because you can hold on, but strength lies in letting go.
Love is like growing --it's hard to feel, sometimes, and even harder to see, but when you look back on it, you realize how far you've come.
It isn't what happens in your life that matters most, it is what your heart does with it, who it shares it with and what together they learn from it.
In all your remembering, remember that you have choices.
Though many people will go in and out of your heart only one will want to stay there. If you bulid a heart full of holes, think how much easier it is to hang on.
Wild cabbage was traditionally recommended as an aphrodisiac.
Catholic Valentine Celebrations
The Catholic Church formally recognizes a total of 11 Valentine's days: Jan 7, Feb 14, May 2, Jul 16, Aug 31, Sep 2, Oct 25, Nov 1 and Nov 3, Nov 11 Nov 13, and Dec 16.
Coffee Break Romance
It's reported that more than 10,000 marriages a year now are directly traceable to romances which begin during coffee breaks.
Diamond Engagement Rings
The first diamond engagement ring was presented in 1477 by Archduke Maximillian of Austria to Mary of Burgundy.
The average engagement lasts 6 months.
Two out of five marry their first love.
Most recent research indicates just about 9,000 romantic couples each year take out marriage licenses, then fail to use them.
Go Ahead and Kiss
A team of medical experts in Virginia contends that you're more likely to catch the common cold virus by shaking hands than by kissing.
According to a survey, the second most popular reason for having sex is to produce a baby.
We've been told of two different theories as to where the term 'honeymoon' originated.
1. The word honeymoon first appeared in the 16th century. 'Honey' is a reference to the sweetness of a new marriage and 'moon' is a bitter acknowledgment that this sweetness, like a full moon, would quickly fade.
2. The history of the term 'honeymoon' dates back to the Norse, who would drink a quantity of Mead (or Honey wine) for the first month (Moon) of marriage. Exactly why is not known, but theory suggests that it was to increase fertility.
Canadian hunter and trapper Joseph Henry Jarvis (b. 6/15/1899) and wife, Annie (b. 10/10/1904), have been married for 79 years.
Marriage In Ancient Rome
In ancient Rome there was no legal ceremony by a priest, minister, or civil servant or any 3rd party to solemize a marriage and there were no formal records of the marriage. The couple agreed to live together and they became recognized as married by the fact they lived together, or by actions such as the man referring to the lady as his wife, or by evidence of a dowry, or by the general acceptance of their life-style as representing a husband-wife relationship. Divorce was by agreement or by simply leaving the household on the part of either partner.
It was believed that birds chose their mates on February 14th and because doves mate for life, they have become a symbol of fidelity.
Median Age for Marriage
In 1970, brides were on average 20.8 years old when they married, while grooms were 23.2. Americans are now marrying later in life. In the year 2000, brides were on average 25.1 with their grooms averaging 26.8.
Studies indicate that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than those who don't. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus, higher earners. Studies also show that men who kiss their wives before leaving in the morning live 5 years longer than those who don't.
Minnie Munro became the world's oldest bride when she married Dudley Reid at the age of 102 on May 31, 1991. Reid, the groom, was 83 years old.
Harry Stevens was 103 when he married 84 year old Thelma Lucas at the Caravilla Retirement Home in Wisconsin on December 3, 1984.
On Bended Knee
One in 5 men proposes on one knee.
6% of men proposed to their girlfriends over the phone.
Red roses are the most popular flower to give on Valentine's Day and although they may all look the same to the untrained eye, there are actually more than 900 different varieties of dark-red and medium-red roses.
Juno, queen of heaven and partner to Jupiter (a.k.a Zeus, the king of gods) rules over marriage, the hearth and childbirth. The month of June takes its name from her, making it most appropriate for weddings.
Romance Novels are more popular than ever. 53% of all mass market paperback books sold in this country are Romances. Romance novels earn more money in the USA yearly than baseball! So, what's the national pastime?
The oldest sex manuals were published in China 5,000 years ago.
It began in Cleveland, Ohio during the depression years to give a "small token of friendship orphans, shut-ins, the underprivileged, and the homeless." Today the holiday has expanded and become more commercialized as a romantic holiday.
Sweetest Day Origins
While sweetest day is not known in all parts of the country, it is extremely popular in others. Some speculate that it's simply a Hallmark invented holiday to get more money out of our pockets. Do you know how it really came about?
The Longest Engagement
Sixty-seven years, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. The happy couple finally wed at age 82!
Tying the Knot
The expression, "tying the knot" dates to Roman times, when the bride wore a girdle that was tied in knots - which the groom then had the fun of untying.
US Marriage Rates
The Wall Street Journal, citing U.S. Census Bureau research, reports that the U.S. marriage rate is significantly higher in the Mountain States (thanks primarily to Nevada's wedding industry), along with the East South Central States of Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky and Alabama. The Northeast region of the country has the lowest marriage rate.
Valentine's Day Cards
Approximately one billion Valentine's Day cards are sold in the United States each year, according to the Greeting Card Association, which makes Valentine's Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas.
Valentine's in Las Vegas
The Las Vegas Marriage License Bureau is open around the clock on February 14th.
World's 2nd Largest Box of Chocolates
For Valentine's Day 2000, a liqueur manufacturer created the world's largest box of chocolates. The heart-shaped box, assembled in New York City, measured 15 feet high by 15 feet wide and weighed some 1300 pounds. It held the record until November of 2002, when Marshall Fields broke the record with a 2,002 pound box of chocolates in Chicago.
Your Hand in Marriage
Only 4% of men ask for the parent's approval for their bride's hand in marriage.
'I Love You' Hug
A close cheek-to-cheek hug that says "I Love You" even more with an added kiss on the lips.
'I Want You Now' Hug
A close hug with a bit of rubbing and grinding.
Big Bear Hug
Pull your partner in really, really, really close, put your arms completely around them, and squeeze tight.
Butt Squeeze Hug
A sexy, passionate hug. Pull your partner in close, lift your leg around their legs and give their butt a passionate squeeze.
Run at your partner and jump into their arms with excitement!
Pull your partner close and give them a gentle squeeze with a light pat on the back.
Put your arms lightly around your partner's shoulders and give a gentle squeeze.
A hug involving multiple people - family or friends - where you all put your arms around one another.
A quick wrap, lightly touching your partner where your arms only go halfway around (hence, half a hug).
Hello & Goodbye Hug
A quick, semi-close hug paired with a kiss on the cheek.
Hug of Joy
A semi-close hug with excitement and movement that often times includes a bit of excitement jumping.
Pull your partner in closely and give them a passionate squeeze as you gently kiss along their neck.
Usually works best when sitting on a couch, etc. Drape your arm around your partner's shoulders and snuggle up in close!
While not normally thought of as a hug, the 'spoon' is essentially your arms wrapped around your partner -- a hug! While lying in bed on your side, pull your partner close and wrap your body around theirs in a 'spoon' position.
Pull your partner close and lay their head lightly on your shoulder as you give their back a light rub.
Find a large tree (perhaps while picnic-ing), and each partner wrap their arms around the tree to meet the other partner's hands.
The average person will spend an estimated 20,160 min kissing in their lifetime.
Ancient Egyptians never kissed with their mouths. Instead they kissed with their noses.
50% of all people kiss have their first kiss before they are 14.
Kissing helps reduce tooth decay because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth.
On Valentine's Day 2004, 5,122 Philippine coupes gathered together at midnight and locked lips. This kissathon beat the previous world record of 4,445 couples set in January in Chile.
The Chinese didn't kiss until the practice was introduced by Westerners, and they're still not very keen on it.
Kissing & Calories
You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain) as those that are released when you engage in intense exercise such as running a marathon or skydiving. This causes your heart to beat faster and your breathing to become deep and irregular.
Some theorize that when you kiss a person with the same hair color as yourself, the result is a more passionate kiss.
Kissing Many People
On September 15, 1990, Alfred Wolfram from New Brighton kissed 8001 people in just 8 hours, over sixteen people a minute, at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival.
You use only two muscles on your face when you give a peck kiss but you use all of your facial muscles and burn more calories during a passionate kiss.
More than 4,400 couples poured in the streets in Chile for a 10 second kiss, setting the world record for the largest number of people kissing simultaneously.
Kissing Throughout Your Life
On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.
Longest On-Screen Kiss
The longest on-screen kiss was the 3 minutes, 5 second liplock between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in "You're in the Army Now."
Lovapalooza 2 Kissing Record
More than 5,300 couples locked lips for at least 10 seconds in Manila, Philippines to kick off Valentine's Day 2005. This breaks Chile's old record of 4,445 couples.
Our brains have special neurons that help us find eachothers lips in the dark
Science of Kissing
The science of kissing is called philematology.
Strange Kissing Laws
There are many strange laws regarding kissing that are still on the books. In Indiana, it is illegal for a man with a moustache to "habitually kiss human beings". And in Hartford, CT, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.
The Kiss of Death
In Naples, Italy in the 16th century, kissing was an offence that carried the death penalty.
Turning Heads while Kissing
Onur Guentuerkuen of Ruhr-University Bochum in Bochum, Germany, studied hundreds of couples kissing. In his study, he found that two-thirds of people turn their heads to the right when kissing.
Valentine Kissing Record
On Valentine's Day 2004, an Italian couple made their way into the record books with a 31-hour 18-minute Valentine kiss. The couple beat the previous record by 18 minutes and 33 seconds, however, the man had to receive oxygen afterwards.
World's Longest Kiss
April 5, 1999: Karmit Tsubera and Dror Orpaz kissed for a record 30 hours and 45 minutes to win a kissing contest in Rubin Square, Tel Aviv, Israel.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
A common concern that many couples express is that their partner "doesn't listen" or "refuses to understand" or reacts with harsh words. "A quick retort can ruin everything," notes the writer of Proverbs (Prov. 13:3, NLT).(*) A simple way to defuse a pattern of miscommunication is to practice receptive listening. That means dropping all defenses in order to learn what the other person is really saying and feeling. Opera tenor Jan Peerce, after being married nearly 50 years, said: "My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we've kept it no matter how angry we've grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen--because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations."
Couples who worship, pray, read Scripture, and participate in a faith community generally have stronger, happier marriages. Their faith in God is one more tie that binds them together. Ricardo Montalban is well known for his many roles, especially that of Mr. Roarke, the white-suited host on the television program "Fantasy Island." Montalban is also a committed Christian who has been married to the same woman, Georgiana, for several decades. He credits their deep faith in God for the satisfaction and success of their marriage. "If you stick to your principles, religion, and convictions, you'll be rewarded," he says. "You need many different kinds of glue in a marriage: love, humor, respect--and belief in God. That's the strongest of all. It's kept us together."
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" advises Paul (Col. 3:13, NIV).([dagger]) The apostle knows whenever human beings live together they can cause each other pain--intentionally and unintentionally. The path that leads to healing from lingering hurts is forgiveness. Choosing forgiveness means favoring the positive and giving the marriage a second chance. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or whitewashing what has happened. Forgiveness means letting go of the hurt, moving on in the relationship, learning from the experience, and using the information to build a stronger marriage. A good example is the following letter, written by Jennifer to her husband after she was offended by insensitive comments he made during a heated argument a week earlier.
"Michael, I was very hurt by what was spoken, but at the same time I can see you're human and can make mistakes. I forgive you. I love you and our life together. I want us to understand each other even better and grow from this. When one of us is unhappy with something in our relationship, we need to speak before the feelings erupt into a full-scale argument. Let's make our marriage even better than it was. I love you, Jennifer."
As a couple take some time to look back together at the events that make up your common history. The sharing of these memories is effective in rekindling feelings of warmth, affection, and love. "God gave us memories that we might have roses in December," wrote James M. Barrie. The sharing of memories can be done verbally. "Remember the year we lived in Washington, D.C., and the power went off for two days? We snuggled and slept in
front of the fireplace." The sharing of memories can also be visual. Try turning off the television one evening to look over old photo albums savoring and treasuring the memories recorded in them.
Taking the initiative for doing things together seems to get forgotten and neglected the longer a couple is married. "It's easier to wait for our spouse to suggest going out for a date, what we ought to do on vacation, having friends over for dinner, taking a stroll around the block," observes writer Carole Mayhall. "And so we settle into a comfortable (if boring) rut and wonder where the excitement went." Couples who want to get closer will take some time to think about experiences that can deepen their love and then act on those ideas.
The ability to feel remorse--that sense of guilt over a wrong one has done--is essential for any marriage to succeed and thrive. Remorse is a positive force that drives a spouse to admit a wrong, extend an apology, and seek forgiveness. A spouse who feels remorse demonstrates respect and love for a partner. Remorse is a powerful healing agent within a marriage. "It's hard to say why an unexpected bowl of popcorn, placed at your end of the couch, can erase the leftover tension from a quarrel, but it can," notes Philadelphia clinical psychologist Judith Sills, Ph.D. "Maybe because it says, `I'm sorry I was in a bad mood,'" she adds.
One of the most important ways to deepen love is through time. A couple cannot grow in love without spending timetogether. Bill and Kristin, a Los Angeles professional couple, have very busy, hectic schedules. Yet every month they compare calendars, choose a day, and mark it in large letters: NOTHING. They take the day from work, pass up all social events, and spend the day together enjoying each other. "The day is completely unstructured," Bill explains. "Once we got out of bed, went to a video store, and rented two videos. Then we returned to our house, cuddled up on the couch, and enjoyed a double feature together. Another time we might spend the morning catching up on our magazine reading, then go for a walk in the park and perhaps enjoy a picnic lunch. The point isn't what we do, but simply that we are spending time together."
Many spouses say they feel unappreciated and even rejected by their partners. Couples who are close and remain that way practice praising early and often. They know the importance of being a cheerleader and of providing the applause of appreciation. "We have never met a person who was suffering from too much praise, acceptance, or support from those around him," note Kevin and Marilyn Ryan in their book Making a Marriage. "We have both been surprised that simple compliments have meant so much to the other. We thought surely the other person knew how much we valued this or that aspect of him or her. We have come to believe that all of us are struggling in an impersonal world and are plagued by self-doubt. We need to be told about our strengths and the things we do well. And we need to be told early and often."
Couples who have never drifted apart are inevitably those who have made it a habit to talk openly about issues. Even though such a conversation could result in some pain, they do not avoid or evade issues. It is wiser to express and explore feelings early before they become more intense. David has been married 50 years to the same woman. Their family now includes two children, nine grandchildren, and a great-grandchild. Looking back over his satisfying marriage, he says: "As a husband who's proud of his 50 years of marriage and hopes for many more, I believe that what contributes to our success is that we always talk out minor problems and differences that arise between us before they fester and get bigger.
We hug each other often.... We're considerate of each other and give in once in a while, even when giving in isn't what we'd like to do."
Couples who remain close are constantly growing in their knowledge of the world around. The information they absorb benefits them both professionally and personally.
A good example is Jerri, a 38-year-old teacher in Chicago who has been married 15 years. "My husband and I are always taking refresher courses of one kind or another," Jerri says. "The new ideas lead to many stimulating conversations and keep us from getting stale and bored with each other. We're both eager to grow intellectually and emotionally. Also, I've made it a point to read one article or book chapter about marriage each month--how to make it better, livelier, more satisfying. I gain many new insights and try applying them to our relationship--always with positive results."
Finally, every marriage benefits greatly when couples maintain a sense of humor. "Humor is the sunshine of the mind," noted Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. Maintaining a sense of humor can take the sting out of disappointment and the bite out of an argument. Healthy couples know there is wisdom in simply laughing away some issues and problems.
Saturday, 8 August 2009
1. She should not be a nag:
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome (contentious or strife-causing) wife.
2. She should be industrious, hard-working, able to provide for her family, wise and able to bring honor to you:
Proverbs 31 (excerpts)
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed (to be fully clothed) in scarlet (Commentary: scarlet–or, "purple," by reason of the dyes used, the best fabrics; as a matter of taste also; the color suits cold. (Fausset, A. R., A.M. "Commentary on Proverbs 31". "Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible".))
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
3. She is Willing to Be Submissive
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.(Commentary: From v. 22 to the end he speaks of the duties of husbands and wives; and he speaks of these in a Christian manner, setting the church as an example of the wife’s subjection, and Christ as an example of love in husbands. I. The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their husbands in the Lord (v. 22), which submission includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them. They must do this in compliance with God’s authority, who has commanded it, which is doing it as unto the Lord; or it may be understood by way of similitude and likeness, so that the sense may be, "as, being devoted to God, you submit yourselves unto him.’’ (From: Henry, Matthew. "Commentary on Ephesians 5". "Matthew Henry Complete Commentary on the Whole Bible". ))
1. He should be willing to put your relationship before all others:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to (to cling, stick, stay close, cleave, keep close, stick to, stick with, follow closely, join to, overtake, catch) his wife, and they will become one flesh.
2. He should be a good leader:
For the husband is the head (metaphor, anything supreme, chief, prominent of persons, master lord: of a husband in relation to his wife of Christ: the Lord of the husband and of the Church of things: the corner stone) of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
3. He should love you as much as he loves himself and be willing to give himself for you:
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.
Monday, 3 August 2009
2. Eat well, and never starve yourself. Try to eat five small meals each day, make sure your plate is filled with colorful fruit and veggies before you add protein and starch, and forget about counting calories.
3. Take care of your body. Engage in moderate exercise 3-4 times per week, but find something you actually enjoy doing, and preferably outside in fresh air, such as walking, rollerblading, biking, hiking or skiing. If your schedule only allows you to get fresh air and exercise on the weekend, don’t fret about it too much. Just do your best.
5. Be nice to yourself. Replace that negative self-talk you’re so good at with positive self-talk. My daughter recently changed the screen saver on her laptop to say “Welcome back. You’re awesome.” Shouldn’t we all follow her example?
7. Take a self-defense class. It’s a great exercise, and the skills you acquire could empower you in dangerous situations.
10. Support other women. When you support other women, you are supporting yourself. So, when a woman announces she is running for office, try not to shred her to pieces right away. There’s nothing wrong with supporting a candidate “just because she’s a woman,” provided she’s as qualified for the job as other candidates. In most cases, she is.
Friday, 17 July 2009
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, "You look beautiful," they might hear "Why are you wearing that shirt?" If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each of you did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place.
Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient
2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
3. The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for relationships. Playing with your mate's hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you.
When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, "I have a surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight's performance," or "I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert." The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch the heart!
5. Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is "singles" night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
2. Write a Love Note. Written expressions of appreciation and love are an instant boost. Finding them unexpectedly is even better! My husband leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning. I usually leave him a note on the bathroom sink, telling him to have a good day and put a heart or smiley face on it. It sounds a little corny, but he really does like seeing it first thing in the morning.
3. Catch his eye across the room. Ever been at a crowded gathering, separated from your partner? Give a wink or a small smile to let him know you would still rather be in his company than anyone else's.
4. Wear that perfume or outfit or shoes you know he loves. Even if it's not your favorite, make the small sacrifice. This says that you care about his likes and dislikes.
5. If your man is a sports fan, take the time that the game is on for some snuggling on the couch. I have never been interested in football, but my husband is a die hard Jets fan. All through the football season, I spend at least part of the time with him on the couch while he is enjoying the game. I read a book or magazine while he satisfies his football addiction. The physical closeness, while both doing something we enjoy makes the time special.
6. Every now and then, take over one of "his" chores. No one enjoys taking out the garbage. In our house, it is typically my husband's job. Sometimes I'll just do it before he gets around to it. He always notices and appreciates it.
prepare a delicious, satisfying meal.
8. Really listen when he is talking. It's very easy to tune him out when you've heard the same work story over and over. Make the effort to focus on what he's saying. Or at the very least, refrain from saying, "I know, I know, you've told me a thousand times !"
9. Light up when he comes in the room. No, you don't have to do a dance every time he joins you in the living room or kitchen, but do give a smile and let him know you are happy to see him.
10. Now for the bedroom stuff. Being a wife and mother is exhausting work. Throw in an outside job and romance can fall by the wayside. Don't always shut him down if he's in the mood and you're not. Relax and focus on the love you share. I am not advocating responding to his advances if you are really and truly not interested. Just stay open to the possibility of quality private time together, even if initially all you really want to do is sleep!
Trust is the substance for all relationships. Relationships usually head towards the dead-end when trust is broken. Lack of trust doesn’t attract anything good except suspicion, which generates anger, which causes enmity, which eventually (most occasions) results in separation.
There was a story about a telephone operator who received a phone call one day. She answered, “Public Utilities Board.” And there was silence. She repeated, “P.U.B.” There was still no answer from the other line. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is P.U.B. Sorry, I got the number from my husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”
Well, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with a simple ‘Hello’ instead of ‘P.U.B’. That is why mutual trust is so important in any relationship.
In a relationship, we look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of being criticised openly. Generally when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, our other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. So, if we forgive the others, others will forgive us too.
There was a man who asked his father-in-law, “Could you please share with me your secret in keeping a successful marriage?” The father-in-law answered with a smile, “Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could find a better husband than you.”
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband. This is because, the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. However, the simple rule is understanding, which keeps strifes away from relationships.
Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
Haven’t we often heard that relationship fails because ‘he’s too domineering’ or ’she’s so bossy’ or ‘I can’t handle all the demands!’? People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. More often than not, this is not the case.
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that it is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character. It is not easy to change. Thus having high expectation on changing the spouse’s character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
There is a verse in the Bible that says ‘what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man’. Wrong speech hurts deeper than wrong doings. When a couple is too close to each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other person. Frequent exchanging of spiteful and tactless remarks plants the seed for a relationship-gone-wrong.
There was an illustration of a wife and her millionaire husband who visited their construction site. A worker saw her and shouted, “Hi, remember me? We used to date in school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you’ll be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered, “You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he’ll be the millionaire and not you.”
This is a true story which happened in the United States. A man came out of his house to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his 3-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed done, he rushed his son to the hospital.
The boy’s fingers were amputated from both his hands because the bones were badly crushed. When the boy woke up from the surgery and saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Dad, I’m sorry about your truck.” Then he asked, “But when are my fingers going to grow back?” The father went home and committed suicide.
This last story has put a dent in my heart: trucks can be repaired, broken bones and hurt feelings often can’t. Next time someone steps on your feet or wish to take revenge, remember this story. Think first before you lose your patience, especially with someone you love. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. Mistakes make us human. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Would you like to share any virtues that strengthen relationships?
Share your heart with us and let’s make love, and not war!
While the professionals say that physical beauty is a main factor in influencing our selection of people, how many times have you heard someone say that beauty doesn’t matter? These days, nobody wants to admit that we consider good-looks to be an issue. We’d rather be a part of the noble few that really sees beyond the outside, and therefore would never own up to the possibility that we want both inner and outer beauty.
The ‘truth’ of the matter is that we actually do size people up according to looks, among the first few things, and we might be doing this on an unconscious level – that we are unaware of it.
The more we see them, the more likely we are to be attracted – that’s what they tell us, anyway. Now, on some level, this may be blatantly true, because consider how much time we spend around someone we want to get to know, and eventually it’s just bound to happen, but consider that on the grounds of virtual reality and you’ll find that it’s even more astounding!
People can now generate relationships over a computer screen, but how would they have known that back then when cyberspace wasn’t as big a deal as it is now? This might mean that it isn’t the physical factor that attracts us, but the inside that counts for a little more, which holds up a pretty good argument against Factor 1. How DO they fall in love in cyberspace, if not for what’s inside? Oh, and this is assuming we’re back in the days when webcam was a luxury.
This then breaks down to four smaller categories – demographic similarity, attitudinal similarity, similarity in physical attractiveness, and similarity in interests and experiences. Whatever happened to ‘opposites attract’? How would we then go on to explain the phenomenon of one ToDieFor partner when the other looks like SomethingTheCatDraggedIn? How we go about the story of the handsome prince falling in love with a sweet little peasant girls from the suburbs? And what about those couples like Dharma and Greg?
Do we really want to be with someone who is a lot like ourselves? To what degree until it becomes narcissistic?
4. Reciprocity of Liking
‘We like those who like us, and say nice things about us‘ (Berscheid & Reis, 1998)
When we were kids in the playground, the fairer sex might have adhered to that theory, hurling all the possible admiration, affection, and attention we could muster to the boys that gave us butterflies, but they, however, pulled on our pigtails and trampled our sweet little faces into the mud when they had an inkling of a feeling. Complete, utter self-denial, and they acted out in the worst possible manner to prove that so.
These days, even, we make things so frustratingly complicated when we come to terms with an attraction, and more often than not, it’s a lot of mixed signals out there before the message finally gets across. We think excessive compliments are a reason to run for the hills, so where’s the fine line between courting and creepy?
Personally, I think there’s some truth to what the scientists say, but when put into account for the current day, it doesn’t add up and therefore we should all collectively work on a whole new list of factors that are a little more up-to-date. I, for one, don’t think trimmed toenails are too much to ask for…
How he behaves. Most likely, he dated you for a long, before making a declaration of love. You notice he never demands anything in reply to his feeling, it is completely disinterested. As a rule, your partner can tell: “I will give you the last penny” and so forth.
What you can expect from him. Such love, of course, has a set of pluses. A man constantly endowing himself and his interests for the sake of yours, causes trust and respect. But no more. As a rule, total care starts bothering. You would like passions, but, alas, a man incurs a role of “loving daddy”. This is, certainly, pleasant, but does not promote sexual desire. And as a man does not demand any return from you, you start appreciating him ever less. Generally speaking, he imposes his care on you, constantly aspires to learn your thoughts, desires, control them.
2. Ludus - so-called love-game. It is based first of all on sexual desire.
How he behaves. Such man does not trouble himself with courtings. After all, he considers that sexual desire to woman is the best acknowledgement of his love. As a rule, “stickings” begin on the first appointment. He does not try learning you as a person, each refusal “to get acquainted closer” is perceived as personal insult, can cause angry rebuff of type: “So why we communicate with you?!” The longer a woman keeps such man at arm’s length, the colder he becomes - after all, he thinks, if a woman does not want a man, this means, she is not interested in him. By the way, you can notice that except you such gentleman also dates several women, besides, he is not jealous, if you start flirting with others on his eyes. He does not aspire to become closer with you, you feel that if you are far from him, he forgets about you, and calls only to learn only when you can meet next time.
What to expect from him. Probably, at first you will be overflowed by a storm of feelings and emotions. However, when passion passes, you can find out that, except sex, you have nothing in common. A man who considers that sex is love, as a rule, is rather selfish, thinks only of his desires. If you suddenly cease satisfying his sexual requirements, he will quickly grow cold. Feelings of such man are very transient and superficial. As a rule, he loves you only when you are nearby, and overcomes parting very easily. Having decided to break up with him, do not wait for calls with apologies or night visitings with an armful of roses and oaths in eternal fidelity. In general, your communication will be only a petty intrigue. If you do not impose responsibility for you and your feelings on such partner - you will spend pefrect time with him in bed for a long.
3. EROS - sensual love. It is based first of all on fidelity and only then on physical desire.
How he behaves. He is interested in your life and problems. He does not dissapear after first night spent together. You have things to talk about. In conversation he tells not only about himself, but is also interested in your emotions and feelings.
What to expect from him. You found almost an ideal partner! This man will not ego-trip at your expense, he appreciates your feelings and will not start blackmailing you with love (”I do everything for you, and you are so ungrateful!”). Your man is glad to the fact you feel good with him, he likes caring of you. This is really a true love!
4. MANIA - love-obsession. As a rule, is based on passion and jealousy.
How he behaves. In the centre of such man’s love is not a partner, but he. As a result, he constantly tries to ego-trip at the expense of other people. It can be expressed differently, but more often - in the form of banal household rudeness or humiliations “on trifles”. Such man will wait for any problems in your relations and if they do not arise, he will create them. For example, he will start telling you you wash dishes wrong way. Or suddenly he will start carping that you spend too much money. Such man waits that other person will run into dependence from him, considers that a woman should love only him, because he is with her. Such person avoids any routine, boredom and attachment. He often changes friends, residences, works, most likely, was married before.
What to expect from him. Pathological jealousy. Such person is jealous not because he is afraid to lose you, but because you can “run away” from his power. Thus, the weaker and more dependant you will be, the more confident this man will feel. He will constantly try to force you thinking that you are obliged to him by something. And will perceive your care and love as due, will not appreciate and notice them. As a result, the more you will try to come closer to him, the more he will push you away. And on the contrary, if he sees you cooling, he will aspire to be pleasant to you again in every way. And then again cooling. But consider that such man provokes break-up by himself, thereby confirming his importance even more.
5. Pragma - “rational” love.
How he behaves. Such man says that he needs a woman whom he would feel comfortable with (instead of the one he will grow fond at first sight or with whom he will have tremendous sex). At acquaintance he first of all tries to learn, whether you are able to be in charge of housekeeping, whether you suffer from fits of hysteria, etc. In general, he looks, whether he will be able to build a joint life with you.
What to expect from him. There will be no passions and unexpected acts in your joint life. You will be constantly pursued by a feeling that you were chosen as goods. While you give a partner everything he expects from you - stability, material benefit, - he loves you. But as soon as this basis dissapears, break-up follows. Such man begins constantly supervising his feelings and will demand the same from you. If you need constant changes, thirst of new sensations and feelings - such relations is obviously not for you.
6. Storge - love-friendship.
How he behaves. A man tells you about all problems and relatives. You feel you can share everything with him. You never have any fluctuations to tell him something, - you just approach and speak. You are always assured that in any case will find understanding and support.
What to expect from him. Probably, soon you will miss strong emotions - you will want new sensations. If you know all thoughts and desires of each other, you will have no space - you just become uninteresting for each other! Therefore, it is reasonable to have your small hobbies that will help you equiping some personal, intimate space.
You can never quite get him to admit to the depth (or shallowness) of his feelings for you. You are ‘okay’, ‘alright’ or ‘straight’. He hasn’t made any proclamations about what you mean to him, how important you are to him or what he thinks about you. In the best-case scenario (if your man is not particularly talkative), he shows his feelings, even if he doesn’t tell you about them. He is polite, courteous and responsive to your needs. He cooks for you. He mows the lawn (unasked). Or something along those lines. The worst-case scenario? He doesn’t share any of his feelings with you because he doesn’t have any. The deepest feeling he has for you is the aforementioned ‘alright’. And nobody wants to be just 'alright'.
2. He Doesn’t Share His Plans With You
You don’t know how he spends his free time. You don’t know who his friends are. You don’t know what his goals are. Yet he seems to have a whole, entire and active life completely apart from you. This is not a good sign. If you are not a significant part of his current life, you are probably not a significant part of his future plans either. If you are in a new relationship, give it some time. But if you still know very little about him after dating him for several months (or several years), this man is quite happy to keep you right where he has you – on the outside looking in.
3. He Doesn’t Answer the Phone When You Call
Yes, I know we all get busy sometimes. I don’t answer my phone at least 30% of the time (I have to work and sleep, you know). But if, he rarely or never picks up? Or if he is only calls you in response to a message (or several) you’ve left on his phone or because he sees your number on his caller ID? Bad, bad, bad signs. A man who is interested in you wants to talk to you. No matter what else he has going on – work, family, children or whatever. You should be a priority to him (or at least your phone calls should be). If you are not, you need to re-consider his being a priority in your life.
4. He Hasn’t Introduced You to Anyone (or Introduces You as a ‘Friend’)
Okay – this is simple. If a man has not introduced you to anybody he knows (and he at least has a mama, a couple of friends, co-workers, or somebody), you are probably not very important to him or his life. Why do I say that? What’s one of the first things you do when you meet someone (that you really like)? Introduce him to your friends or invite him to different functions. Men are not so very different from us – if they love having you around, they will invite you to be where they are. And, in the normal course of those invitations, you will meet people who are in his life. If you haven't, then beware. And, closely related to this:
5. He Doesn’t Tell Anyone About You
When you talk to him, he may mention conversations he's had with his family or friends. He tells you all about these conversations where he discusses baseball games or the basketball finals he watched on tv, the repair he's having done to his car or how his boss is getting on his nerves. He may even mention to these aforesaid friends and family his weekend plans. But, then you catch on to something – he told them what he was going to do, but not with whom he would be doing those things (namely, you). A simple oversight? An overriding need for privacy? Possibly. But, more than likely, he is not ready for anyone to know of your existence in his life. This could be for a number of reasons, but none of them are good. So, keep up with his mentions of you in his life – it is an important indicator of intent and the seriousness with which he takes your relationship.
6. He Talks About His Future in Terms of ‘I’
When he talks about where he's going to live, what job he plans on getting or what school he plans to attend, it's all about him. "I'm" going to move to Florida or "I'm" going to go to the University of Nevada. Or, even when he talks about things that could conceivably involve you, like a future trip, moving from his apartment to his house or even a movie he plans to see, for heaven's sake, still no mention of you. What should this say to you? That he's still thinking of himself in terms of being single. It has not yet occurred to him that the relationship he has with you could become more serious. All those "I's" and lacks of "we's" is his subconscious way of telling you that he does not consider you to be his partner.
7. He Doesn’t Take You Out
Sure, he likes spending time with you – but only in the privacy of his home. Or, he can hang out with you at school, but it never seems to go further than the coffee shop or library. This man is not ready to be serious with you. A man who wants to be with you will spend time with you in a variety of places – both publicly and privately. And even if he's not personally very interested in going to the museum, eating out or seeing a movie, he should at least be willing to give it a shot if it means pleasing you. Beware of a man who limits your activity to one specific type of place.
8. Only Calls Late (aka Treats You Like a Booty Call)
Right. I know that we are all Christians and we are not engaging in late-night conversations with inapproporate men. But, just in case this applies to you (and you are accepting those late-night calls), just understand that he is not serious about you. If he only calls late, you have to ask yourself: what is he doing between the hours of 8am and 9pm? Why can't he call then? Is he involved with someone else? Is he married or recently separated? Or does he simply see you as a way to get his needs met (whatever they are)? Unless he works a really odd shift, there is no reason that your guy cannot call you at a reasonable hour. Do what seems right to you, but know that late night calls do not equal serious intentions.
9. He Doesn’t Share Personal Information
Have you ever asked yourself why you don't know where your guy lives? Or where he works? Or you're not even 100% sure of his last name? Unless you are truly just disinterested (or aren't inquisitive enough to ask him), it's probably because he doesn't want you to know. And why doesn't he want you to know? He could be hiding something. Or, most likely he doesn't consider your relationship to be serious enough to share the serious information about his life with you. Don't think so? Try asking him thoe questions the next time you see him. His answers (or lack of answers) will speak for themselves.
10. He Doesn’t Take an Interest in Your Activities or Your Future Plans
We've already been over the fact that he doesn't tell you his future plans. But now, to add insult to injury, he doesn't ask about yours either. Why is this such a bad thing? Let me ask you something – to what kind of people do you fail to ask questions like these? That's right – acquaintances. People you barely know. You even talk to your boss (who you can't stand) about what you plan to do for the weekend. Yet your guy doesn't ask? Very suspicious. Suspicious enough for you to rightly think that he simply isn't interested in knowing. Or else – he'd ask.