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Friday, 26 June 2009

4 Things a Woman Needs From Man

This is not another article about “what women want.” That subject has been more than sufficiently covered in decades of magazine articles and movies. To the real man, what women *need* is the more practical study.

If you fancy going deeper than the garden variety “remember anniversaries,” “tell her you love her” and “great sex” advice, …take a glance at yourself against the following 4 needs, and make sure your woman is covered:

1. A woman needs you to be decisive. 
Want to irk a woman? Next time she asks you what restaurant you’re taking her to, say: “mmm… I dunno… where do you want to go?” …which of these dresses look the best for tonight? “mmm… I dunno… whichever one you like better.”

She may never tell you but, under the surface, you do your relationship a good bit of damage when you show yourself to be indecisive. As a man, you have the privilege of making decisions without all of the emotional cross-talk that goes on inside a woman’s head. That natural characteristic of yours is one of the perks a woman receives when she has a man in her life. So, don’t cheat her out of it. Be a man with places to go, a definite opinion …a man with a plan.

If you’re dating or married to a relatively successful girl, this becomes even more important. Having a strong, decisive man to defer to on evenings and weekends is a huge relief to a professional woman who spends her days making weighty decisions. No matter how smart and capable she is, sometimes all a woman wants to be is a little girl. Let her. Be her “daddy” when she wants you to be. Decide for her. Make everything alright.

2. A woman needs to feel safe with you. 
This doesn’t mean you have to ‘right cross’ every dude in public who looks at your lady too long. While she does, indeed, need to feel physically protected, she needs to feel “safe” in an even more important way:
she needs to feel that she can express her deepest thoughts and feelings to you in a totally open and honest way …without being argued down, rejected, or made to feel stupid. 

As men, we tend to look for the hard logic in everything. As we listen to someone talk, we monitor every sentence for inconsistencies. “Wait, that makes no sense,” we interrupt, followed by a cross-exam worthy of Supreme Court. This is most assuredly a valuable skill in the outside world, but when listening to your woman — it is a must that you silence your inner lawyer.

When a woman first meets you, and doesn’t really know you, she sorts her thoughts first, then she says them aloud (…just like you and I). One of the best signs that a woman is getting comfortable with you is when she says her thoughts first, then sorts them aloud. Provided you’re not dating a dunce, she usually already knows she’s not making sense — she’s not trying to. She simply wants to say her thoughts out, and play with the order of things — she wants to flip her ideas upside down and rearrange them like puzzle pieces in the air. Picture the movie Minority Report.

And here’s the key: the fact that she’s willing to do that with you in the room is one way a woman expresses her intimate feelings toward you. So, as painful to your logic-centric self as it may be, it can actually be a good sign when a woman says something to you that makes no sense. Just listen with a sympathetic ear, let her sort things out …and make no judgments. Be assured, you will be thanked often, with more than words.

3. A woman needs you to be successful. 
You can be worth $700 mil — if you have no goals, no projects, if you’re not accomplishing anything new …you, my good man, are not successful. Your woman will never tire of spending your money, but she will tire of you.
Every emotionally healthy woman desires an ambitious man who aspires to something greater than he is.

A man who has chosen his list of mountains to climb — and is enthusiastically climbing them, presents as a man with the potential to take a woman to new heights and exciting places she never thought she’d see (…or perhaps, always dreamed she would). You are a man who can greatly enhance her life’s journey.

Of course, we’re talking women, here — not girls. Some girls remain in the exploratory, “man-candy” stage till 25, or later. Once they figure things out, though, they come running for the bold, daring, ambitious, resourceful, imaginative, enterprising men. Successful men. If you’re a young man right now, you should be working on being one of these men. (…the money will naturally come. Money doesn’t bring you success — success brings you money.)

4. A woman needs you to lead her, not follow her. 
No woman (in a relationship with a man) wants to be the boss — no emotionally healthy woman, that is. High-quality women are turned off by domineering men …but turned on by confident, self-assured and capable men.
Unfortunately, most men are afraid of their women.

Not in a physical sense, of course …but in the sense that most men get extremely uncomfortable anytime their wife or girlfriend is upset, or even slightly unhappy. This tendency puts your woman in the driver’s seat — and, contrary to how she may behave, she doesn’t really want to be there. What she really needs is to be able to lean on you, like a rock …but she’ll never feel comfortable doing so if she continually sees you compromise your own values to try and keep her happy. In his book Hold on to Your N.U.T.s (highly recommended), author Wayne M. Levine says it best:
“Allow your woman to have her own problems and feel her own feelings without having to worry about how that makes you feel.” – Wayne M. Levine, Hold on to Your N.U.T.s

Contrary to popular belief, keeping your woman happy is not your mission in life. Your woman’s happiness is her job. She must decide to be happy, or not to be. Your job, as a man, is to chart the course and steer the ship. You do this by setting your most important values firmly, and never abandoning course.

Most men give up things they really value in an effort to align their lives with a woman’s wishes:
a man who loves to ski — stops skiing because his girlfriend doesn’t like to ski…
a man who loves to play basketball once a week with his friends — quits because his wife views it as childish, or too dangerous for a married man.

“Why do you always have to go fishing?” she might ask. …”I don’t like you on that motorcycle,” she may say. One by one, the man gives up the things that bring him the most joy, satisfaction, outlet and renewal — all in the name of keeping his woman happy. The result? He becomes brooding, resentful, (out of shape…), and prone to loud or violent outbursts, that even he doesn’t understand. And, of course, his effort to keep her happy fails, after all.

It’s not the woman’s fault. She’s waiting for you to lead. What sound like complaints are simply harmless voicings of her fears, concerns and preferences. As a man, it’s your responsibility to take those preferences into serious consideration and accommodate her, where possible. However, when those preferences conflict with a value that you have determined to be important to your well-being, you must steer the ship accordingly. As the leader, if you’re not okay, nobody’s okay.


Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Top 10 Romantic Date Ideas

Romantic date ideas can cement a new relationship or put the passion back into an old one. They can heal the wounds of recent arguments and take away the stresses of your day.

So we've taken all the date ideas we've heard of and after fierce debate we've cut it down to the top 10 soppy and romantic date ideas. Expect candles and roses for every one! (what? candles and roses are romantic!)

Coming in at number 10 is:

10. Cuddling up with a book together on a cold day

Sometimes the simple things are the most romantic, on a freezing cold day then snuggling up in each others arms on the sofa in front of the fire with a good book can be very intimate and romantic evening.

Enjoy the closeness of each other bodies, the warmth, their perfume/aftershave, savour the quiet and the peace of just being there with the one you love. Grab some warm drinks and either read parts of a book out to each other or just read page by page silently together, just make sure to turn the page over before your partner has finished to wind them up and start a play fight ;)

9. Candlelit dinner and bathtub recollections

Spend the night getting all wrinkly! Have a nice candlelit dinner together, then head up to the bathroom, go for the full monty, candles everywhere, superhot bath, a whole bottle of bubblebath, maybe some relaxing music (battery radio - nothing in the mains please!).

Then grab yourself some red wine and both of you get into the bath together, go for the 'debating' style double-bath where you are on either end of the tub, or the 'lovers embrace' (my fave) where one of you sits in between the legs of the other and leans back into their loving embrace.

Then spend a few hours (yes hours, top up the hot water as you need to) reminiscing about your old dates, maybe about how you met as well. Try to remember good and bad dates and try to remember ones you partner has forgotten about.

You will have a laugh and joke and remind each other of all the good times you have had together, by the end of the bath you'll be all loved up, definitely relaxed, and you'll have strengthened your bond together.

8. Star gazing

There is something romantic about looking at the stars, whether seeing the infinite size of the cold and dark universe around us makes us more appreciative of the people we love, or whether we just enjoy them because they look like little sparkling sky diamonds, either way, they ARE romantic.

So grab yourself a blanket and the duvet off your bed. Head out into your backyard, put the blanket on the ground as a groundsheet, then climb onto it under the duvet.

While you're out there try to get some candles going for added effect ;)

Then lie back with the one you love and look at the stars together while entwined in each others arms. Open your minds and start to take in the sheer scale of what you are looking at, light that is billions of years old hitting your retina from a far away galaxy, stars that dwarf our sun, infinite variety and wonders just out of our reach.

Then snuggle up closer and appreciate you managed to find your perfect shining star (awwwww - tell them that for added brownie points).

Competition is getting more fierce now, we're looking for date ideas that capture the imagination or bring your closer together, so coming up the inside to position number 7 is:

7. A wine and good times special

Simple but effective, grab yourself a bottle of wine and all your photo albums, you know - the ones you have so painstakingly crafted over the years but never 'had the time' to look at again. Preferably if you can then dredge up childhood photo albums of you and your partner as well.

Then put some soft music on, grab some of that wine for each of you, snuggle up on the sofa and go through the albums slowly by candlelight. Savour the moments you have enjoyed together and laugh at the awful photos that are a part of every photo album!

6. Capture the moment

Ok, we've spoken a lot about going over all the good times you've had in your relationship so far. Well this date takes it a step further. During the day dig a hole in the backyard...

Then in the evening grab some wine again (I'm not addicted to wine, honest...) and make items for a time capsule of your relationship. Put in a newspaper clipping of the paper for that day to show the date and current news of the day you did it. Write letters to each other that you do or don't read to each other before they go in (my preference would be not to).

Draw pictures for each other, takes photos to put in there, put little keepsake items in there, anything you want ,write poems to each other. Please bear in mind that it needs to be an airtight container, airtight tupperware will do it, but you can buy inexpensive time capsule kits to do it as well - anything else means in a year or two the contents will be mush.

The when you're both slightly tipsy from the wine go out with your sealed capsule (make sure it's sealed!) and bury it together and go back in and watch a soppy film (by candelight to make it romantic... getting sick on candles yet??!)

Then in the future you can either uncover it after say 5 years, or 50 years, or you might uncover it accidentally one day if you have forgotten about it.

Just try to remember it if you are going to move house...

We're getting more adventurous now for number 5:

5. Champagne hot air balloon trip

Hot air balloon trips are just another of those things that are instantly romantic, maybe it is the pageantry of them setting up this huge contraption just for you two, or the silent ascent into the heavens? and effortlessly gliding over the landscape below?

Well turn it into a sunset trip with champagne then you have a really memorable romantic experience! Until you have experienced your first balloon ride then you don't know what you are missing!

Now we're into the top 4 romantic date ideas, expect sunsets, candles, the works!

4. Romantic camping

Alright, camping is not everybody's idea of romantic, so you can substitute the camping part for a swanky hotel near a beach if you want!

The idea is that your head off away from your local area to find a spot near a nice beach that not a lot of people visit (touristy beaches are just going to be full of noisy people even at night). Camp somewhere nearby (or get a swanky hotel) and then at sunset go down to the beach and sit there together watching the sun set over the ocean as the last rays of sunshine melt into the distance...

Then head back to your camp/hotel for a night of telling ghost stories round the campfire/ordering room service and telling ghost stories in bed with the lights off!

3. Private dining room

A candlelit dinner at a restaurant is ok, but we've all done it right? That means it loses its effectiveness, you can't make it to number 3 with just a normal candlelit dinner out somewhere. Instead find a restaurant that has a conference/meeting room for hire, now on a Friday/Saturday night not many people want meetings so it will be free...

Phone up the restaurant and ask them if they are willing to let you hire it for a meal, they just need to clear the room and put a tabel for two in the middle of it and put some candles around the room for you. It is important if you are going to do this that you go to check out the room before you agree to anything, it will show you are serious when you turn up in person as well. You want a room that will be romantic when lit by candles and emptied of all the meeting stuff, not something with whiteboards on the wall etc!

Trust me there are plenty of places out there that have something perfect for this - or find one that has a private dining room, but do it during the week when not many people want to use it so you get it cheap, I had a private dining room all to myself midweek with a swanky 3 course meal and more candles than you can shake a stick at for $100!

Go out for a few drinks first, and then arrive for the best meal ever! (I mentioned roses at the start, as I haven't included them anywhere yet then get some put on the table for this date!)

Try this for an anniversary for added effect.

A cheaper but even more potent version follows later, but at number 2 is:

2. Sunset picnic

Sunsets are romantic right? They are like giant candles and candles are romantic ;) Picnics are also romantic... so combine the two!

Grab yourself a picnic, all your and your partner's favourites, then look up the sunset time online, most weather sites will tell you. You need to have scouted out a hill near you first that has a good view all round and is quiet :) Try one on a local footpath like I did, so you have permission to be there!

Then knowing how long it takes you to get there... set out at the correct time to get to the hill 10 minutes before the sunset time. Set up your picnic and enjoy a glass of champagne together along with the picnic while watching the sun go down.

Don't worry about finding the west, that is why you need a hill with clear view all around, so you can find the sunset when you get up there!

(You also need a clear sky preferably, hence why this is number 2 as it can be fiddly!)

And finally...

1. Recreate your first date

The sheer soppiness of this date makes it shoot to number 1, even though the actual places you go might not be that romantic.

There are two options here, either recreate the first date exactly, or recreate it how it was meant to go... like if one of you was late, then do you turn up late again to make it authentic? If you ended up going for a walk in the park instead of that drink in the bar as one of you was turned away for having the wrong dress code, do you turn up properly dressed and have the drink you were supposed to have instead? The choice is yours!

There are also two ways to act, you can act like you are both on your first date, a bit of roleplay to give it an exciting edge... get to know each other all over again and one of you try to steal that first nervous kiss...

Or you can go into it as you are and laugh and talk about the parts of the date you are on at that moment and what happened and how you felt on the night. This can be a great bonding experience as when you went on that first date you wouldn't have discussed all your fears and all the things that went wrong that the other person didn't notice - you get to reveal them now and see the first date from a fresh perspective, what went well and what didn't!

There you go - the top romantic date ideas for you to enjoy!


Saturday, 20 June 2009

10 Things Men Shoul Know About Woman

Women and men are different. We've got a lot in common, but sometimes we just want different things. Our culture stops us from communicating what we really want, especially in dating situations - and there's some things that are just too awkward to explain. 

What secrets aren't being shared? Here's ten things you need to know.

* "We don't always need you to fix it."
 There's an old saying that when a man pops the hood of his car, all the other men gather around. But this helpfulness becomes irritating if a woman is just looking for sympathy. What she wants to hear is "I understand" - not "You should try doing it this way!"

* "You're not fooling anyone." Mark Twain said that boys start out by imitating men - and then continue to do so for the rest of their life. It gets confusing for men when their friends or teachers encourage them to act more mature - but a real connection comes from being yourself. A little honesty is attractive, while acting overconfident is a put-off.

* R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Don't fake respect - feel it. Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, and ultimately everyone does have something to offer. Your mission is to find that - in yourself, and in the women around you. Instead of being a chore, this is really part of the fun. What's her superpower - and what's yours?

* Share your sweetness. Men are discouraged from being "too emotional" when they're young, but in a relationship there's one emotion women love to see: affection. If you're thinking a fond thought, share it. If she looks fantastic, tell her! No matter how you were raised, it's okay to be sentimental during those quiet moments on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

* "If we're interested, we'll let you know." Obviously when approaching someone there's a subtle dance, since somebody still has to make the first move. But if you've already signaled your interest, you'll get a signal back if the woman you're pursuing is also interested. And if there's no signal back - that's a signal in itself. If you keep pushing it, you're just being annoying.

* Don't presume she's interested. When a man approaches a woman, she's thinking two things. "Why is he talking to me?" and "When is he leaving?" It's always uncomfortable when a strange man approaches a woman. Successful pick-up lines invent a plausible reason for the initial contact - and preferably, one that signals you're leaving soon. Use that moment to make an impression - but never presume that you've earned an ongoing audience!

* Listening works. Whether we know it or not, everyone really just wants to connect. Unfortunately, you can feel alone even when talking to someone - if you're feeling they don't understand you! But there's a real joy in communicating. It helps to find something you're both interested in, but the real key is listening for the feeling behind the words.

* Neediness is a turn off. Men want things, women want things. But telegraphing your voids, your frustrations, and your unresolved pains...makes you sound like a lot of work. No one wants a partner who's "high maintenance." If you really want a successful relationship, make sure you've got your own life in order first.

* Don't lie. Even with little things, dishonesty leaves a permanent mark. If "men are from Mars," trusting them requires a leap of faith. But instead, lies create a reason for distrusting. And even an undiscovered lie can damage a relationship - since then you've really made a commitment towards maintaining that lie, indefinitely!

* Don't sweat it. Women are just like you. Movies and TV shows show extreme examples of female behavior - and male behavior. Fortunately, no one's like that in real life. We're all just people.

Discovering that is part of the fun!

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

The Big 8 of What Men Really Want Women to Do and Be Like

According to surveys done with thousands of men, here are the BIG 8 of what men really want women to do and be like.

How to please your man? Is he happy with me? What does he want me to do? These are just some of the questions that constantly plague women. We end up obsessing about it and ultimately jump to the wrong conclusions. This, is what they really want:

1) Guys absolutely love the attention that you splurge on them. Whether you are trying to attract them or have been in a relationship for a long time. Fuss over them and you will be richly rewarded for your effort.

2) Men are really attracted to women that are happy with themselves and how they look. Simple gestures that exert confidence turn them on. Your walk, flicking of your hair, your smile, simple gestures like touching your waste or bum. If you are confident in yourself and show interest in them - they feel special and singled out.

3) Guys love everything feminine about you (but in moderation!). Your perfume, your makeup, your girlie gestures and giggles. Key is to entice and not overpower. Too much can have quite the opposite effect.

4) Men adore it when you show others how you feel about them. Hug them in public, always look for their hand, mention how he makes you laugh and smile. Anything you can do that will "show him off" in front of others. Especially with people he either likes or feel insecure with, which means everybody!

5) Guys love your support. They might never admit to it, but they can rarely make up their minds about anything and is usually open for suggestion and persuasion. Take note of what is going on in his life, ask questions and show that his interests and problems are important to you.

6) Men want to know that sexually they are the absolute ultimate. They do not take kindly to rejection and even though you might not think so, they are concerned about whether they satisfied you or not. Show him, show him, show him and did I mention show him?

7) Guys find it quite a challenge to be serious. If you are playful in your approach it is something that is familiar to him that he can relate to. It eases anything from sex to conversation. Don't take yourself too serious, play around, it is one of our basic animal instincts.

8) Although men want to know that they are your moon and stars, they do not want your constant dependence. Having your own interests and hobbies is what makes you endearing, with the added bonus that they can spend some time on theirs.

Adhere to these and you are bound to make your husband, boyfriend or love interest the happiest man alive. And might I add, how they respond and what you get out of it is very rewarding.


20 Items That Should Be in Every Woman's Handbag

Women are often accused of carrying too much 'rubbish' in their handbags but if we didn't carry such essentials then who else would?!

Below we've listed our top 20 items which should live in every woman's handbag - without these items we would be lost!

1. Money - probably an obvious choice but how many times have you left the house and forgotten your purse? Get rid of your loose change instead of collecting it in a jar at home.

2. Mobile phone - what on earth did we do before mobile phones were invented? Well I guess we used smelly telephone boxes but that meant that people couldn't get hold of us if they were running late, also it meant that we would have to talk super fast before the beeps told us that the call was ending - urgh.

3. Credit card- a girl's best friend or a girl's worst enemy depending on how you look at it. Going on a shopping trip? Make sure you take your plastic friend with you for a little day out.

4. Shopper or old plastic bag - plastic bags are evil. Fact. When out shopping don't a) ruin your outfit by coordinating it with a tacky branded bag or b) add to the ever-increasing land fill problems by using up another plastic bag. Reuse an old plastic bag or use a cotton shopper that can fold up inside your handbag instead.

5. Book/magazine - you will regret not bringing a book with you when you're sat in a cafe/restaurant alone and have nothing to look at but the smoochy couple sat at the table next to you.

6. Diary - unless you have a fancy mobile phone you'll need something in your bag which acts as an organiser. Otherwise you'll forget what day of the week it is.

7. Makeup - how many times have you gone straight from work to a bar or restaurant feeling slightly 'naked' as the makeup on your face has miraculously disappeared? Don't let this happen again!

8. Tissues - toilets without paper, sneezes, hay fever...we all need tissues.

9. Tampon/San pads - don't be caught out again, make sure that you always have a tampon with you!

10. Pen - you'll need this to write in your diary or your number on his arm.

11. Keys - you don't want to be locked out do you? Then don't forget your keys.

12. MP3 player with headphones - sunny lunch hour in the park? Lonesome walk across the bridge? This needs a soundtrack.

13. Safety pins - why doesn't everyone keep at least one in their bag? Safety pins are so handy. Broken bra strap? No worries. Broken bag? No worries. Broken heart? Well we can't help you there...

14. Plasters - sore feet from painful shoes aren't pleasant at all and can actually ruin your day. Make sure you keep a couple of plasters in your bag. You'll be so grateful the day you need them.

15. Comb or hairbrush - cave woman chic? We don't think so. Tidy yourself up a little and keep your hair sleek.

16. Vaseline - great for dry lips, dry hands and getting a ring off your finger if it gets stuck.

17. Moisturiser with SPF - chapped dry skin isn't fun and neither is sunburn. Make sure you keep a mini bottle or sachet of moisturiser in your bag that contains a medium to high sun protection factor.

18. Sunglasses - for sunny days, hangovers and those who like to look a little mysterious.

19. Wet wipes - spillages, dirty hands, armpits - your choice.

20. Chewing gum/mints - keep fresh throughout the day, for your sake and everyone else's.


Friday, 12 June 2009

Fun Date Ideas

Where do you go when you want to inject a bit of fun into a date, or are not quite ready to introduce a romantic date setting just quite yet? You hit one of these eight locations for some lighthearted, youthful excitement to share with someone special.

1. Amusement Park
Roller coasters, cotton candy and anti-gravity machines are a riot no matter who you are with, so bring a date and explore the merry-go-rounds, old fashioned photos, tilt-a-whirls, and water rides together. 

2. Arcade
Your favorite old school hangout may offer an inexpensive yet entertaining way to get to know someone better. Most arcades today offer a wide variety of games to play both new and old, providing the opportunity to run a space mission together, whack-a-mole, or even duke it out Mortal Kombat style. An added bonus is when you trade in your arcade tokens for a prize at the end of the night that your date can take home to remember the occasion.

3. Bowling
It may sound like a typical date idea, but when is the last time you went bowling? Many alleys now offer night bowling events specially geared towards dating couples such as laser bowling or singles leagues. Rent a pair of shoes, let the scoring machine do all of the hard work, and see who can strike out first. 

4. Comedy / Improv
If breaking the ice is a concern with your date, a comedy show or improv group may offer a solution. Spending the evening together laughing at the live antics in front of you can be a bonding experience, and you'll have plenty to talk about in between acts and after the show.

5. Dinner Theater
An interactive murder mystery-type dinner theater show is the perfect second or third date get-together. This way, you can interact with each other while participating first-hand in a memorable date neither will soon forget.

6. Interpretive Center
Depending on where you live will determine what kind of interpretive center you will have access to, but most cities and towns have at least one to choose from, such as a duck sanctuary, fur trading camp, salmon spawning center, wetland interpretive center or natural hot springs.

7. Planetarium
Not every town has a planetarium, but if yours does it is a fantastic place to hold hands, sit in the dark and explore the universe around you. Some also host weekend star-gazing events, where tour guides will show you and your date how to spot the major constellations. Then, use this information for a romantic date later on down the road – just the two of you on your balcony or in a park, trying to find the big dipper together.


Wednesday, 10 June 2009

40 Fun Questions to Ask Your Partner

As you embark on a new relationship, there are many things you’d like to know about your partner. Some things come up in the course of conversation. But there are many things that don’t just crop up in idle conversation. Or at other times you just want to have some fun with your lover and are curious to know what he’ll say in response to something.
Sometimes the questions may or may not have anything to do with your relationship, but they may still provide valuable insights into your partner’s psyche and personality. It can be a fun way to discover more about each other. You could decide to target two questions a week and both of you write down your answers to them on paper or email them to each other. Or simply share the answers verbally with each other, which has the added advantage of being able to laugh together at the responses you get. It can be especially fun if you’re just getting to know each other.

1. What was your first impression of me?
2. How accurate do you now think it was? On which counts do you think you were totally wrong and on which were you right?
3. What is your idea of a truly romantic evening?
4. If I promise not to get upset, can you tell me something that you’d like to change in me but don’t have the nerve to tell me?
5. If you weren’t in the profession you are, what would be your other dream profession and why?
6. Apart from the most obvious one, which other two areas of your body are the most sensitive and responsive?
7. Which three parts of my body are your personal favourites and why?
8. Can you name three qualities that attracted you when you met me/got to know me?
9. Which is your dream destination and why?
10. Which is your favourite movie of all time and favourite scene in it? (If the other hasn’t seen it, narrate in detail.)
11. Which fruit/vegetable do you think I resemble and why?
12. Can you remember your earliest childhood memory of happiness and that of fear?
13. Your favourite aunt/uncle/cousin and why?
14. What are the qualities that draw you to people that you can base a friendship on?
15. Can you give me a mock session of how you would discuss sex education when you have a child?
16. Your first crush – what drew you to her/him?
17. Your first date – where did you go, what did you do and how long did the relationship last?
18. How have you coped with break-ups in the past?
19. What has been your scariest dream? Which has been your most frequently recurring one?
20. Which has been the best decision you ever made?
21. Which is the decision you regret the most?
22. Can you narrate to me your proudest moment?
23. If you won the lottery, what are the first three things you would do and which are the five things you’ve been most longing for, that you would buy?
24. If your house was on fire and you had a chance to grab only five things before leaving, they would be…
25. If you were asked whom you would like to be born again as, the answer would be…
26. Which is your favourite flavour of ice cream, your favourite junk food and your favourite dessert?
27. Whose wardrobe would you most like to possess and why?
28. The one argument your parents had, that you would try and avoid with your partner, would be over…
29. Which is your favourite asset/body part on a man/woman and why?
30. The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you was…
31. Your most wicked fantasy has got to be… (Be open to this one, if you react adversely, he/she will never feel free to confide in you again.)
32. If our relationship doesn’t work out, do you think we can remain friends? If no, why not?
33. Who are you closer to – your mum/dad - and why?
34. Your favourite song of all times and why – is it because of the lyrics, because of the memories associated with it or just the whole package?
35. If somebody handed you a magic lamp and gave you three wishes, what would they be?
36. What upsets you most in a relationship and what makes you the happiest?
37. What is your perception of how people see you?
38. If someone told you they saw me with another guy, what would your first reaction be – she’s cheating on me, he’s probably an old friend or I need to get to the bottom of this?
39. Can you think of something you craved for when you were young and were denied?
40. Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex?

A word of advice. Don't be judgmental of the responses you get, and try and be truthful when answering. This can be a wonderful way to just have fun or really get to know your partner more deeply.


Saturday, 6 June 2009

Cheap Dating Ideas - Inexpensive Dating for Those on a Budget

When you date someone, you want to make an impression on her. This is especially if it's one of your first few dates and you would like to take it further. But what if money is tight and you just don't have the means to do fancy stuff and wine and dine her? Yet, you don't want to seem like a cheapskate and have her think that she's anything less than special to you.

But whoever said that to have an enjoyable time with someone, you had to spend a lot of money? You can enjoy each other's company even on a shoestring budget. Some couples have had great dates with little money but a lot of imagination. Maybe you can learn from them.

Some of the all-time favorite cheap date ideas:
1. A walk in the park 
Take a leisurely stroll with your date through rambling paths and lush greenery. Walk hand-in-hand and talk about your interests, family, trees, nature, anything! The cost for leading her up the garden path - zilch! 

2. Go for a jog 
If you and your date are up for it, put on your track pants and running shoes and head out for a jog. While the jog itself won't give you much opportunity to talk, it's always great to work up a sweat together. And afterwards, you can stretch together and maybe you can even give her an impromptu massage to soothe those aching muscles. That's called 'Giving her a run for (no) money'! 

3. The beach 
This one's an all-time favorite. You don't need to shell out any entrance fee and it is one of the most romantic places to be. Whether you take a walk on the sand, lounge around on a chair tanning yourself, surf or just fool around in the water, the beach must surely be one of the most popular 'cheap date' locations. 

4. Sports 
If you and your date both happen to be the athletic types and love a particular sport, this could be the ideal alternative for you. Indulge in a little competitive activity to get the adrenaline pumping. It could be table tennis, badminton or even squash. But be a man and take it in the right spirit if she beats you! 

5. Go for a swim 
You might like to go for a swim together at the local club. This gives you the additional advantage of checking her out in a swimsuit! And if you're a good swimmer and she's not, you can impress her with some cool strokes or maybe even teach her some. Different strokes for different folks! If you're more adventurous, you could even go skinny dipping. 

6. A picnic 
Picture a cozy brunch or lunch for two in a nice meadow. You could spread out a cool picnic mat, take some sandwiches and if you're really lucky, she may even feed you some of those grapes you've carried along. Only, make sure you pick a spot where you don't get attacked by an army of ants! 

7. Community center activities 
Check out some of the activities at your local community center and ask your date if she'd be interested in anything. You could have a really good time, and in the process, discover a fun side to your date, that you never knew existed. 
8. Go sight-seeing 
Sometimes you discover historic landmarks in your city that have minimal or no entrance fee. It could even be a museum, if either of you are into that kind of thing. Either way, it gives you a lot to talk about and it makes for interesting conversation. One of you may even decide to play tourist guide and ask for kind! 

9. Movie/meal at home 
Check out the Top Ten Movie list and rent one your date will enjoy. Make sure you find out what his/her taste in movies is, you wouldn't want to choose an action movie if she really prefers a romantic comedy. Or invite him over to a home-cooked meal, or even better yet, prepare it together. It might be great to see how you work together as a team and you'll be surprised how much fun you have in the process. In this case, even if 'Too many cooks spoil the broth', you wouldn't really mind! 

10. Window-shopping 
If it's the festive season, enjoy the originality and creativity of the window displays with your date. Or go shopping together and pick out stuff you think you might like to buy, but don't buy it. It's great to see what the other person's tastes are, and this way, when you do have some money and you're stuck for gift options, you know exactly what he/she fancies. 

11. Coffee shop 
Coffee and a couple of doughnuts won't cost you too much. So linger over your cuppa, inhale the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and enjoy the company of your date in a relaxed and friendly setting. 

12. Book reading/Library 
If your date is the literary type, take her along to a book reading; she might really appreciate the effort taken on her account. Or visit the library together and spend some quiet time just being with each other or exchanging love notes! 

13. Go for a drive 
You could take your date for a drive to a quiet place or somewhere that has a picturesque view. Sit in the car just holding hands and talking or doing whatever you do best! Or sit on the bonnet with your arms wrapped around each other, watching the sun go down. One of the most romantic views, and all it costs is the fuel it took you to get there. 

14. Go trekking 
If you like adventure, and you think your date might be up for it, go hiking. Choose a scenic route so that it's not all huffing and puffing and you can stop and admire nature at her best. Carry along enough supplies and choose a nice spot, like maybe a waterfall or somewhere with verdant pastures to catch your breath and relax in each other's company. 

15. Go camping 
This one requires your date to be the down-to-earth type or at least open to roughing it out. If you don't already have camping equipment, borrow it from a friend and brush up your boy-scout skills. Enjoy the chirruping of the birds and the beauty of the wild outdoors with your date. 

16. Bicycle ride 
If you don't own one, rent a couple of bicycles and take a leisurely ride in the countryside. Have races; enjoy the breeze in your hair and the sun shining down on your face! 

17. Visit a park 
Choose a park that has an area for kids and act silly together. Have a whale of a time on the seesaws and maybe enjoy the lulling rhythm of the bench swings.  

18. Try out something new 
If your date is up for adventure, try out a new sport, hobby or activity like ice-skating. Providing you don't take any nasty spills, it could be a great way to have a few laughs together. It also gives you the chance to keep holding on to your date on the pretext of steadying her (or yourself!). 

19. Sit by the fireplace 
Invite your date over and get a roaring fire going. Roast marshmallows together and get cozy on the rug by the fireplace. Easy on the pocket, isn't it? 

20. Play games
There are a variety of board games like Scrabble, Dominoes, Monopoly or even a game of cards that provide light-hearted entertainment, without making even a dent in your wallet. 

21. Go fishing 
You might like to laze around in the sun in an idyllic spot, on the pretext of fishing. But if you do happen to be lucky enough to catch some trout, that's your meal guaranteed as well! 

22. Sit by the lake 
Settle down on a bench by the lake, to feed the geese and carry along some snacks to munch on as well. Chat about life and soak in the peaceful scenery, all for free. 

23. Bird-watching 
If you're a nature buff, grab your binoculars and your date and head out to a nature park or a popular bird-watching site. On the pretext of showing your date some rare bird, enjoy a few close encounters! And what you may lack in your wallet, you can make up for with your eloquence. Turn your binoculars on her and tell her that you're looking at the rarest bird of all!

In fact, no matter where you take your date or what you decide to do, don't be perturbed by what you think is a cheap alternative. You don't even have to be a scintillating conversationalist. If you treat a lady right and show her that you've made an extra effort to make her feel special, even if it doesn't cost much, she'll still feel like a queen!  


Friday, 5 June 2009

10 Ways to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You

After you meet a woman and date her, you get to know her better. You probably start feeling closer to her and may even find yourself falling in love with her. But her feelings may still remain a mystery to you. You’re not even sure whether you’re doing things right. How can you get her to fall in love with you? Here are 10 ways that you can make a woman fall in love with you, and at the end of it, she’s sure to be crazy about you.

1. Display maturity
It’s always said that women mature faster than guys and are often found complaining about how immature they act. Impress her with the way you deal with situations and your outlook on the whole. Show her how responsible you are about finances, or serious you are about your career. And demonstrate your ability to think clearly and rationally when disagreements crop up or a conflict of interests presents itself. 

2. Romance her
Make her feel good by keeping the romance alive in the relationship. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money doing this. Sure, there isn’t a woman alive who doesn’t adore flowers and gifts, but you can also do things that don’t cost a lot but can still enhance your relationship. Write her little notes or send her a mushy card. Call her up just to tell her you’re thinking about her and can’t wait to see her again. Be attentive and make her feel cherished and truly special.

3. Faithful
Don’t ever give her occasion to doubt you. Let her know that you have eyes only for her and the rest of the world takes a backseat. Let her sense your commitment to her and your relationship. Being able to trust someone and truly rely on him is a very powerful feeling. So many people profess deep feelings and then cheat on their partners. Don’t just tell her but show her that she can count on you. Women need to feel secure and once that is established, it takes the relationship to a higher level. 

4. Time spent with her is precious
Make it clear that you really treasure the time you spend with her, irrespective of what you’re doing together. And prove it! For instance, if she suddenly tells you she’d like to meet you because she’s finishing work early and you had something else lined up, cancel it for her. That doesn’t mean you cater to her to the exclusion of everything else, just that you sometimes sacrifice something you care about to be with her. If she begs you to come see a movie and you had plans with your buddies, do it for her and let her know subtly that you did. She will surely reward you! Women also love it if you do some girly stuff with them like shopping for lingerie, and aren’t afraid of sacrificing your masculinity in the process. It just makes you more of a man in their eyes! 

5. Compliment her
You don’t have to go over the top always telling her how good she looks or how gorgeous her hair is or what a lovely outfit she’s wearing. A compliment has more effect when it is sincere, well timed and often, out of the blue. While a woman always loves hearing that she’s looking good, you can’t keep telling her that. It will lose its charm eventually. A compliment is valued when there is a surprise element to it. Telling her how witty you find her, how her intelligence turns you on, appreciating how thoughtful and generous she can be, or her gentle nature, all these are deeper compliments, which, when paid sincerely, make the recipient feel ten feet tall.

6. Laughter
Use humor as your biggest ally. If she enjoys your company and looks forward to seeing you again, you’re rapidly becoming an addiction, and that’s just what you’re aiming for. It’s not about making her laugh over your one-liners and finding you hilarious. It’s more about being on the same wavelength and enjoying the other’s sense of humor too. Or finding humor in similar situations or having a favorite serial or sitcom, which you talk about and cracks you up. Finding the same joke funny, or sharing a smile, draws you closer and makes you feel like kindred spirits. It’s a great feeling!

7. Learn what turns her on
And use it to advantage. Find out just the kind of touch that excites her, how she loves to be kissed. Don’t ever push her for sex or make her uncomfortable by coming on too strong. Let her see the effect she has on you, yet keep a strong rein on your passions if she decides she wants to call a stop to it. Let her set the pace, and ensure she understands that while your desires for her are strong, you will respect the limits she sets. Respect her and her body and she will appreciate you more for it. Women love it when they can see how much they turn you on and yet find you willing to take it slow for their sake. Also, when you make love to her, don’t always kiss her or caress her as a lead up to having sex. Do it just to make her feel special and because you want to convey that to her, and she will adore you for it. 

8. Give her space
Don’t be possessive and make her account to you regarding her whereabouts. Let her know you trust her. Don’t expect her to spend all her free time with you. Let her have her own life too. Often when in a relationship, people make the mistake of spending every waking moment that they can manage together, and in the process, alienate themselves from friends and even lose their identity. Let her be her own person.

9. Thoughtful
You remember little things she told you, and remind her of it at opportune moments. It may be that she once mentioned she loves having chicken soup when she’s got a cold, and you land up with some when she’s got the sniffles. Or she’s told you how she adores a particular entrĂ©e at a popular restaurant and the next time you go there, you order it and surprise her. It makes her feel like you genuinely listen to her and take the trouble to act on it and make her happy.

10. “I love you”
And of course, while showing her should give her the message, there’s a lot to be said for saying it loud and clear. Tell her how important she is to you. You might want to think about when you’re first going to tell her those three words. If it's too early in the relationship, she might be skeptical that you could feel so deeply so soon. And thereafter, it's not just choosing the right moment, but making every small moment count. You don’t have to wait only till you’re kissing her, or in bed. Saying it when it's least expected makes it all the more precious. She might be telling you something and the feeling just overwhelms you – tell her at that instant. She won’t mind being interrupted mid-sentence!


10 Tips for Mental Health

1. Build Confidence 
Identify your abilities and weaknesses together, accept them build on them and do the best with what you have. 

2. Eat right, Keep fit 
A balanced diet, exercise and rest can help you to reduce stress and enjoy life.

3. Make Time for Family and Friends
These relationships need to be nurtured; if taken for granted they will not be there to share life's joys and sorrows. 

4. Give and Accept Support 
Friends and family relationships thrive when they are "put to the test".

5. Create a Meaningful Budget 
Financial problems cause stress. Over-spending on our "wants" instead of our "needs" is often the culprit. 

6. Volunteer
Being involved in community gives a sense of purpose and satisfaction that paid work cannot. 

7. Manage Stress 
We all have stressors in our lives but learning how to deal with them when they threaten to overwhelm us will maintain our mental health. 

8. Find Strength in Numbers 
Sharing a problem with others who have had similar experiences may help you find a solution and will make you feel less isolated. 

9. Identify and Deal with Moods 
We all need to find safe and constructive ways to express our feelings of anger, sadness, joy and fear.

10. Learn to Be at Peace with Yourself 
Get to know who you are, what makes you really happy, and learn to balance what you can and cannot change about yourself.


10 Health Quotes

Our body is a machine for living. It is organized for that, it is its nature. Let life go on in it unhindered and let it defend itself, it will do more than if you paralyze it by encumbering it with remedies. 
Leo Tolstoy

While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us. 
Benjamin Franklin

The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.
Anthony Robbins

The first wealth is health.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Benjamin Franklin

The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best.
Thomas Jefferson

He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors. 
Chinese Proverb

Nothing is more fatal to health, than an over care of it. 
Benjamin Franklin

To avoid sickness eat less; to prolong life worry less. 
Chu Hui Weng 

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. 
Mark Twain

Flirting Tips for Men

1. Know what you want and what is reasonable to expect

Some men flirt with women primarily to get sex. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

2. Make sure your hair is clean and your body and breath smell good.
You don’t have to douse yourself in after-shave, just take care of personal hygiene at the basic level. As like seeks like, dirty unwashed people will end up with dirty unwashed people! Fine if it suits you but if you are looking for something else……

3. Great States are catching
People love being around charismatic people because they seem to spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state for flirting and go for it. The Flirting Weekend is designed to teach you how to feel good about yourself so that others will feel good about you.

4. When you buy a woman a drink, that is all you are buying
Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when they receive it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest. Don’t try to get a woman drunk – isn’t it preferable to have someone like you genuinely not because their senses are obliterated by alcohol. And think twice if you think you HAVE to buy a drink to impress.  

5. Don’t do the rounds of a group of women
No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate – any port in a storm Even if you are, don’t show it.

6. Concentrate on the conversation, not on getting a date.
Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with. Make an effort to get to know her before diving in for a date

7. Give GENUINE compliments
There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

6. Keep your hands to yourself and respect their space
There are some people I call space invaders. Even when engaging in a casual chat they just seem to get too close. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have sussed out more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat

7. If you ask for a phone number, be sure you want to use it
Flirting and meeting people is NOT about trophy hunting it is about making new connections and having fun. If you don't intend to use the number, don't ask. There’s nothing worse than giving out a phone number and not having someone call. If you asked for it, use it .

8. Keep your self respect.  
Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or be desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve.

And finally:

Be yourself. It’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you’ll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren’t YET sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there.


Flirting Tips for Women

1. Give clear signals
Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. It’s not fair to flirt with someone for the fun of it – unless they are obviously flirty themselves. Flirting for fun is fine when you know someone a little better. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the 'hi, I'm friendly' flirting signals.

2. Great States are catching
People love being around charismatic people because they spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state for flirting and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.

3. Carry something to get you noticed [Susan Rabin calls this a flirting prop]
If you want someone to approach you, be sure to wear or carry something that is eye-catching and noticeable to you. You will be surprised how much easier it is to go up to someone and ask a question about their prop.

4. Separate yourself from your friends
If you go out with a group of friends or even one girlfriend, make sure you separate from them so that you are more approachable. No man wants to be rejected in front of a group of women, and he may well feel he cannot approach you when you are ‘protected’ by a herd of other women!

5. Check your voice
Does your voice sound like a dental drill or do you wash people in waves of sensual sound?

6. If you are not interested, be polite when rejecting a man
‘Get lost nerd’ is NOT the way to say NO. Men who approach women may do so clumsily sometimes. If you are not interested, make it clear and be polite. It can be very difficult to get up the courage to approach a woman. Refuse someone in the way you would appreciate being turned down yourself. If you are sure someone is NOT for you you can say ‘I am sure you will find someone who is right for you, but I am sorry I don’t think it’s me. Remember that even if this person is not for you, they may have friend potential and who knows that benefits that can bring!! And now a short pause for a commercial break!

7. Be interesting by being interested

Cut down the talk about yourself and ask him open ended questions. Find out about him – after all people generally enjoy talking about themselves and feel flattered when someone shows an interest in them. This also gives him the cue that you like to know a bit about someone before exchanging numbers or accepting a date.

8. Ask him what he enjoys doing
Women and men often tend to fall back on the line ‘What do you do’? To some men, this can smack of ‘checking for wallet-padding’. Alternatively Not everyone is doing the work they love, YET and the question may put them on the spot. Men are much more activity orientated whereas women like to talk about emotions. Asking them what they enjoy doing in their life will allow find out more about what makes them tick.

9. If you give out your number, give the genuine one
Carry a personal or business card to hand out. This way you know that when you give out your phone number you either give out the genuine one or not at all. Imagine what it must feel like plucking up the courage to dial a woman’s number only to find it is the local Chinese take-away.

10. Make the first move!
95% of men I talked to said they would love to be approached by a woman. If women are looking for equality then it is only fair that they do their share of the asking. It will also give you an opportunity to understand what men have to go through when making a first approach.

And finally:

Be yourself. 

It’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you’ll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren’t YET sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there.


What is Love? (Unscientific Answers)

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like. 

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust. 

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck. 

Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness. 

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty. 

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity. 

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident. 

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation. 

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship. 

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie. 

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity. 

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love. 

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love. 

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love. 

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love. 

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love. 

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love. 

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love. 

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Because it's...



What is Love? (Scientific Answers)

Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:
Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions. 
Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you. 

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone. 

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

This a close friend sent me e-mail:

Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning. 

The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

5 Interesting Ways To Ask For Her Phone Number

1. Never ask a woman you’ve just met for her phone number if you have done all of the talking but none of the listening. Why would a woman want to go out with you, when all you’ve done is talk at her instead of asking her questions and trying to find out about her. Who wants to go out with “the chronic talker?”

Conversation is a 50/50 deal. So, never just walk over to a woman, talk at her for two minutes, and then demand a phone number from her. You will likely not be pleased with her response.

2. When you are deciding whether to ask a woman for her phone number, it doesn’t matter for how long you’ve been talking to her. All that matters is how well you connected with her during that conversation.

When I meet a woman to whom I’m attracted – no matter whether I’m in a video store, the supermarket or a coffee shop – I am always finding out about her during our conversation. Just because a woman is pretty, doesn’t mean I want to go out with her. I have to find out about her. In order for me to be interested, I have to find her interesting and intriguing. This may only take a minute or two.

If I like the way the conversation is going in those first few minutes, I’ll say to her “Look, I’ve got to run but I’d like to carry this conversation over to another day. Give me your number and I’ll give you a call.” If you are responding to what each other is saying, and you’re both enjoying the conversation, then you should ask her out.

3. If a woman is with a group of friends, then the way to ask her for her phone number is to talk to all her friends. Don’t just walk over and start talking to the one in whom you’re interested. Talk to all of them.

If you show her that you are a friendly guy, and you get her friends to like you, then after you leave her friends will be speaking positively about you. You want her friends talking about you. It’s like having your own personal fan club.

Most guys make the mistake of only talking to the woman in whom he’s interested. When you do this, then you get the opposite reaction from her friends after you leave. What will happen is that after you leave, her friends are going to be saying: “Why would you go out with him? He’s so rude!” This is why you want to get her friends to like you.

What you do after you have entertained all of them and had good conversations with everyone, is you pull the woman you’re interested in aside by saying “C’mere one second. I’ve got to ask you something.” After you’ve pulled her away from her friends, then ask her out and get her phone number. After you leave, she’ll run back to her friends feeling really great that you chose her over all her other friends.

4. Respect a woman’s time. Let’s say you spot a woman in a bar who is with her friends. You wait until she goes alone to the bar to make your move, and you end up having a great conversation with her while you’re standing at the bar.

What I suggest in this situation is that you don’t monopolize her time. She is out to have a good time with her friends – acknowledge that. After you have chatted with her for a few minutes, and you have established that the two of you get along well, tell her “I don’t want to keep you from your friends. Why don’t you give me your number and we’ll get together another time.”

By doing this, you distinguish yourself from every other guy in the bar. Most guys would monopolize her time, thinking that they need to talk to her for some minimum amount of time before they can ask her for her number. Not true – be different by being respectful of her time and she will want to give you her number. This actually segues really well into number 5.

5. A woman will not only want to give you her phone number, but will also look forward to your call, if you make her want more of you. This is accomplished with two extremely powerful techniques I call “giving your best two minutes” and “using the power of the walk away.” Use these and you will always leave a woman wanting more.

Have you ever had a connection with a woman that was great for the first few minutes . . . then you sabotaged the conversation because you started to over think the situation and got nervous? If you meet a woman you’re attracted to and are having a great conversation with her – no matter where you are – it is ALWAYS better to excuse yourself while the conversation is good so you leave her wanting more.

Think about how you feel when you’re talking to someone who is really intriguing and they have to leave. When they walk away from you, you want more (not less) of them. This is what I call the power of walking away. Keep her thinking and wondering about you, and she’ll be looking forward to your phone call.

You can ask a woman out and ask for her phone number within 30 seconds, two minutes or ten minutes of meeting her. It doesn’t matter. It’s not about the amount of time you’ve spent with her . . . it’s about how well you listen to her and how great the conversation is going.

So the next time you’re wondering if you should ask a woman for her phone number, my advice to you is this: 

Go for it! 

It’s better to ask a woman out and find out whether she’s interested, than to waste valuable time over the next few days wondering what could have been.

Why Women Fall In Love With Older Man

If you are a man and you're over 35 years old, if you are attracted by younger women but you are afraid of being rejected or not to be taken seriously, you will find out the real thing about this issue in this article.

Let's state an irrefutable fact: most women over 25 and single are already disappointed by men of their age.

And their big problem is to find a mature man that can satisfy their needs.

Here is another fact: in most cases men reach their maturity level after the age of 30.

These women believe that older men won't break their hearts the way younger men have done; they believe that an older man will have the commitment and the willingness required for a long term relationship.

Age indicates maturity, and decision making ability.

Many people believe couples with the same age don't respect each other.

Younger women, on the other hand, enjoy having someone take care of them and are attracted to an older person's accomplishments, economic stability and EMOTIONAL MATURITY.

Make sure you share similar life views and goals, despite your age difference.

Do you both appreciate each other's friends? Do you share the same principles when it comes to family?

So, an age difference of 7 - 15 years can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to. That's because we don't choose who we fall in love with, it simply happens.


Thursday, 4 June 2009

Signs That He Loves You

1. He tells you 
If he says those three words and says them often, count yourself lucky. A lot of men assume that their women know they're loved and don't really tell them often enough. If he realizes your need to hear him say he loves you, and he means every word of it, he's truly one of a kind. A man may not say the actual words but imply as much when he tells you how fortunate he feels to have you in his life. 

2. He shows you 
Some men aren't exactly good with words and expressing their feelings. But they choose their own avenues of expression. This kind of guy does things, little or big to show you how much you mean to him. That may include ordering take-away when he thinks you need a break from cooking or taking the kids off your hands so that you can have some time to yourself. Yes, you may need to hear the words from him, but have you never heard that 'actions speak louder than words?' 

3. He makes you feel special 
And then there's the man who's always trying to keep the romance alive. He brings you flowers or wakes up extra early to bring you breakfast in bed. He's always going out of his way to make you feel exceptional. 

4. He's happy around you 
He sometimes foregoes time with his guy friends just to be with you. It may be because you've been feeling particularly low or you haven't spent enough time together lately or just because he feels good to be with you. If he can't get enough of you it's a sure sign that he's got it bad. 

5. He listens to you 
We're not talking 'You command, he obeys'. But when you're talking, he's genuinely interested in what you're saying and gives you his undivided attention. He looks at you (not at the television blaring in the background or the newspaper in his hand), responds appropriately and gives you the idea that he's really concerned about your concerns. 

6. He compliments you 
He notices when you make an effort with your appearance and appreciates it. He tells you which things suit you and add to your look. It always feels great to dress up but when he looks up admiringly and tells you so, you know you matter. 

7. He takes care of you 
If he babies you when you're sick and nurses you back to health, you can be pretty sure you've got a good thing going. If your comfort level is so high that you can look most miserable and still be secure enough in his love, you've got it made. Marriage vows don't include the "In good times and bad, in sickness and health" clause for nothing. Rose, a high-flying career woman, recalls the time she was suffering from a stomach infection and feeling wretched. "I was running a high fever and feeling like my stomach was turned inside out. The only thing that made me feel like I should hasten my recovery was Marvin, my boyfriend. He was like a guardian angel. He soothed my fevered brow and held the bowl while I puked my guts out. If ever I had any doubt about his undying devotion for me, it was quelled at that instant." 

8. His friends and family respect you 
Sometimes you can gauge how a man feels about you from the way his circle of friends and close family behave around you. If they hold you in high regard, you can be sure he's been telling them just how happy he is to have you in his life. 

9. He appreciates your worth 
Sometimes men choose more indirect ways of expressing their true feelings. He may not actually tell you he loves you or even do anything special. But he may tell you how proud he is of your achievements or what a good mother you are or even how well you run the house. You may even find him praising you to the skies to family or acquaintances. 

10. He asks for your opinion 
When important decisions are at stake, either concerning him or both of you jointly or even the kids, he doesn't just go ahead and do what he thinks is right. He asks for your advice and not just for the sake of it. He often considers it and may even go by it. Or if he doesn't, he tells you why he didn't. 

11. He takes your feelings into account 
If something upsets you concerning his family or friends, he tries to see your side of it. He feels for you and even if he's seen you cry a thousand times before, he still tries to make you feel better and has that tissue box at hand. 

12. He's interested in what you want too

Let's say you're both watching television and you want to watch Oprah, while he'd like to catch Arsenal v/s Chelsea. You know how men are where football is concerned! If he lets you watch your choice of program, not just grudgingly but because he loves to see you happy, you've got a winner. And if he actually sits through it just because he wants to be by your side, you know he's a goner!


Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Things You Don't Know About Penis

1. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower). 

2. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the li'l guy. 

3. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol. 

4. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh. 

5. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to checking your prostate. Even if you're not. 

6. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs. 

7. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever. 

8. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings, caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained. . . . Okay, we'll shut up now. 

9. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point. 

10. Are you a grower or a shower: An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers. 

11.German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad? 

12. Turns out size does matter: The longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you'll achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal ridge. Next up: curing cancer. 

13. The penis that's been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784 -- that's about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be king. 

14. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm -- and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often. 

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.


64 Ways to Say "I Love You"

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.

64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.


7 Signs That Your Man Loves You

1. He is interested in your life - Men, who care, will care. This is the first rule to remember. If he becomes self-possessed and does not seem to wonder how your life is going, then questions are reasonable. A man who loves you will never stop asking about your life and wondering how he can make it better for you. 

2. He shares your favorite pastimes - While not a deal breaker, any man who continues to be active in your favorite pastimes, even though you understand he does not like them, loves you. One of the most important things for a man in a relationship is connection. The context and content does not matter. He just wants to be with you. 

3. He calls you frequently - Does it really matter why he is calling? Are you not glad that he is? A man who is involved with his relationship and in love with you will always call. When there is a thought on his mind and he wants your opinion, when he just wants to see if you are ok, and sometimes it will be just because he misses you. If you've argued with him and you ignore those calls, be aware that the action does not escape your mans attention. Consider the alternative, he could never call and wait for you to do it. Next time, pick up that phone when it rings, otherwise you will not know how he has thought to express his love and apologies. 

4. He brags about you to his family & friends - Sometimes you may feel he talks ad nauseum about you. However, put yourself in his shoes and see how proud your man is of you and how lucky he feels to be a part of  
your life. He shows this in the greatest way possible, he tells his family and friends. For a man, including family 
and friends on the details of his relationship is a very big step for him in that relationship. If he is talking about you, he loves you - guaranteed. 

5. He tries to be nice to your family & friends - Some women may not like the idea of their significant other being friends with their friends. Such issues as friends being caught in the middle during problems may arise. However, just the notion that your man cares to be nice to family and friends and have positive interactions with them shows that he cares about the people that you care for. He wants to please you and make you happy. 

6. He never stops romancing you - No matter how busy your man is, does he set time aside for you? Forget setting time aside, does he actually make time for you? If so, you are looking at a man who loves you. He will stop caring about his own stresses to relieve you of yours. He will send you an email, leave you a sticky note, write you a letter or leave a message on your machine when he knows you are not around to pick up the phone. He spends your time together relaxing you and occasionally giving you a present or a card. That kind of attentiveness cannot be faked. He is in love. 

7. He says so, in so many ways - Every action may show his feelings for you, but no action is more certain than a verbal expression. The tone of his voice and the look in his eyes, the wrap of his arms around your shoulders as he whispers he loves you should leave you with no reservation about how he feels. Some people feel that saying 'I love you' too often makes it less special. For a man, saying I love you is the height of his expression of his feelings for you. The more you hear it, let it be known, the more he feels it. 

Now, you ask if anything else that will tell you if he loves you. Your answer is--What else do you need? These simple signs are tried and true. His willingness to perform these actions will show you that your man loves you.

Fun Female Facts!

1. An average woman’s vagina is only about 3-6 inches long while the average erect penis is 4-6 inches long!

2. The Blue Whale holds the record for the largest vagina on the Earth; 6-8 FEET long!

3. The largest recorded human vagina belonged to woman who was 7’8” tall.

4. The smallest human vagina can be right around an inch long. Surgery can be used to change this condition.

5. Can’t miss this one! The largest clitoris recorded is 4 ½” long & 1 ½” around!

6. Biggest boobs? 44 pounds measuring 33 inches in circumference! Bet she had a bad back!

7. In 1886, a French woman was recorded with TEN individual breasts! Now, that’s a chestful… and a handful, and a mouthful…

8. Most recorded female orgasms: 134 in one hour! The longest: 43 seconds with 25 consecutive contractions!

9. The vagina and the eyes are self-cleaning organs.

10. Cleopatra used cow dung as a diaphragm. The modern IUD was invented in 1909…

11. C leo knew sex! Legend has it that Cleopatra had 2 orgasms a day. She is also known to have invented the first vibrator. She had servants gather bees into a box then she shook the box and sat on top of it!

12. Cucumbers are often associated with female masturbation, but according to the Hite Report, women prefer CANDLES for masturbation when nothing else is handy!

13. In the decades prior to the introduction of vibes in porn, it was common practice for women to make an appointment at the doctor’s office to receive clitoral vibrations for an orgasm that would relieve mental and physical stress!

14. In a recent survey, 8 out of 10 women who use vibrators use the vibe on the clitoris to achieve orgasm rather than insert it vaginally.

15. Having an orgasm relieves menstrual cramps because the vigorous muscle contractions move blood and other fluids away from the congested organs. An orgasm can also help to shorten the length of your period.

16. Ladies, are you having a bad hair day? When you make love you produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make the hair shiny and your skin smooth!

17. Speaking of skin; lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering from dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes because the sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

18. 20- 30 minutes of sex can burn up to 300 calories; that’s equivalent to running 3 miles! It’s also safer than running… in most cases! It stretches and tones just about every muscle in the body and you don’t need sneakers!

19. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression since it releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. The endorphins also RELIEVE headaches and the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. You can’t use that excuse anymore!

20. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of pheromones. The subtle, natural chemical is a sex perfume that drives the opposite sex crazy!

21. Can’t sleep? Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world and it is 10X MORE effective than Valium!

22. Kissing keeps the dentist away! It encourages saliva to wash food from teeth and lowers the level of acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

23. Sex is a natural anti-histamine. It will unblock a stuffy nose and can help alleviate asthma and hay fever.

24. We’ve come a long way baby…A medical book that was published in the 1890s claimed that women who masturbate tend to eat a lot of foods containing mustard and vinegar! Women from the Middle Ages were discouraged from having orgasms because it was believed to make women less capable of bearing children!


10 Qualities Women Like in Men

1. BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things, for the purposes of our article, we mean that you or your partner has a good sense of boundaries, that that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle. 

More specifically, you or your partner knows how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person, that you or your partner doesn’t need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are. 

A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much or doing anything in excess.

2. CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and complements from others to be confident. At the same time you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.

3. INDEPENDENT You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent. 

Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self esteem, purpose and identity.

4. RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.

5. EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner’s emotional openness as well.

6. EMPATHETIC: You or your partner need to be able to empathize with the emotions, point of view and experiences of your partner, to be able to get right into their heads and feelings without judgment or trying to fix their situation.

7. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: You and your partner need to understand the concept of unconditional love, to be able to love you partner whether you agree with their beliefs, emotions, feelings or behaviors. To be able to transcend the conditional love paradigm, even if you are not getting what you want at the given time.

8. ON DHARMIC PATH: A person who is on their dharmic path is someone who is in bliss for a great deal of their day. What a wonderful inspiration to be with someone who is on path.

9. NON-RESISTANT TO CHANGE: You or your partner is someone who is not in resistance to change, or at the very least understands when they are in resistance to change and allows themselves to go through the stages of adapting to change without resisting the process. You or your partner would need to understand and accept that change is a natural part of life.

10. SENSE OF HUMOUR: When the going gets tough, the tough start laughing. Do you ever find that when you make light of a difficult situation is a lot easier to get through? Well, having a partner who can make light of a situation (of course while still empathizing with your situation) is much easier on you than a partner who freaks out whenever something happens. Laughter brings gentle strength and renews your focus so you can be open to new ways of dealing with the situation.

Compatibility and knowing what are your wants, needs and requirements are all vital to finding your highest and best relationship. The list above, although depending upon your level of consciousness may seem a little out of reach. However, regardless of your personality and what you are seeking in a partner and what your partner is seeking in you, the list above are fail safe attributes that are universal to everyone that are within everyone’s reach and will guarantee a healthy relationship that sets the stage for both stability and expansion.