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Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tips. Show all posts

Saturday, 25 September 2010

32 Lesson Learned from @MarriageMentor

1. Always be student of your mate. Each season of married life is different.
2. When it comes to in-law issues, cleave to your spouse first and then let "blood talk to blood".
3. Learn each other love language and show them love in the way that's most meaningful to them.
4. Get a way at least once in a year as a couple - even if it's just for one night. Recharge your marriage by falling in love again.
5. Learn to listen with empathy, without trying to "fix" her problem.
6. Wives, be visually generous with your husband. He will greatly appreciate that.
7. Warm up their towel in the clothes dryer while they are in the shower. Then wrap them in it when they get out.
8. Discuss each person's 3 greatest needs at least annually. Then focus on helping them in those areas.
9. After a kiss and warm greeting, give your spouse some down time & space when they first get home from work.
10. Recognize that your spouse is a gift to you from God, and treat him/her that way.
11. Realize that wives need emotional release & husbands need sexual release. Neither is wrong; you’re just different.
12. Learn to love your in-laws as an act of loving service to your spouse. Actions 1st.The feelings will follow.
13. Take him to his favorite sporting event once in a while. Just being there with him will mean a lot!
14. Take her to a place she typically enjoys w/her girlfriends (e.g.a tea room). Then engage in face-to-face conversation.
15. Send the kids to a friend’s house, buy chocolate syrup & whipped cream and get creative with each other!
16. Take some dance lessons together & have some fun. Don’t keep putting it off until “some day”.
17. Go to church together weekly & pray out loud together daily (before meals doesn’t count). Reduces divorce risk to ~1%

to be continued..

(Source: Twitter @MarriageMentor)

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Communication Between Couples

Many things can complicate a relationship, whether it be money, sex or infidelity. However, some of these problems can be traced to a single, crucial element of all relationships: communication. Learning how to listen and clearly convey your thoughts and feelings could make certain issues easier to handle and solve.

Listening With Patience
If your partner claims you often misunderstand him, brush up on your listening skills. According to Eboni J. Baugh and Deborah Humphries of the University of Florida, bad listening habits are difficult to break, but you can do so if you notice your own patterns. Jumping to conclusions or thinking of your response before your partner is done talking is detrimental to understanding the issues your partner is addressing. No need to rush. Feeling like you need to have a comeback as quickly as possible turns a simple discussion into a competitive argument. The goal is not to "win" but to come out learning something about yourself and your partner.

Be Clear And Upfront
If you often feel misunderstood in your relationship, don't assume your partner isn't listening. The problem may be in how clearly you express your emotions and ideas. Negative words and combative body language can easily cloud an argument with feelings of hostility. Try using neutral words and statements centered on "I" rather than "you." When you point the issue at the other person, she can easily feel attacked. Calmness, neutrality and openness can make a difficult subject easier to hear.

When And Where
Life can often get in the way of open communication. The key is finding the right time to have serious discussions. Make an appointment if you have to, and rid yourself of all distractions (phones and TVs off, kids in bed). The setting is important as well. Arguments in public can lead to an embarrassing scene so keep it behind closed doors.

Other Tips
To ensure your arguments will come to a solution and will not run in circles, stay on topic. It is tempting to stray from the main issue and bring up past transgressions, but leave them in the past. Don't quibble over dates, times and other small pieces of the story. If it won't help your point get across, move on. Remember that your and your partner's opinions are the only ones that matter. Just because your mom agrees with you, doesn't mean she has anything to do with this discussion. Focus on your own thoughts and feelings.

The Aftermath
Now that the discussion is over, let it rest. Compliment each other on how well you were able to communicate. When you and your partner focus on enhancing your communication skills and arguing productively, it is the first step in solving hard issues. Great communication might not fix everything, but you won't have much chance to solve things without it.

Source: ehow.com

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Ways to Increase Your Love

For most couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship, it can be a difficult transition once the "honeymoon" stage is over. The initial lust and butterflies in the stomach you once felt may have given way to a more laid-back, comfortable feeling with your significant other. It is normal for long-standing relationships to cool down after a while and this is when the real relationship building begins.

A good partnership is like tending to a pet - either you feed and nurture it, or bad things will happen. The small things you do become important. Daily habits help to forge strong relationships and marriages. It can be as simple as remembering to tell your partner "I love you," everyday.

If you are really serious about making your relationship work, there are several little rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life.

1. Talk To Each Other

 
Most relationship experts would agree that talking is the most important elements of a healthy partnership. Happy couples typically say their relationship works better when they can sit down one-on-one, share their feelings and work out their frustrations. Topics of discussion can extend past your relationship. Talk about work, how your day is going, or something funny that happened to you.

Many couples may complain that it is hard to find time in their busy day to have a daily couple's pow-wow. Well, it doesn't have to be an hour-long psych session each day. You simply have to set aside a few minutes for your special someone. For example, do a "weather" check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his/her day is going. By doing this, you will be more in sync when you reconnect after work.

If you have a pet dog, how about walking it together every night? The quiet time and fresh air can be your chance to focus on each other. If you have missed each other during the day, be sure to catch up at night right before going to bed. It is in this relaxed atmosphere that you can unwind and tell your partner about your busy day.

When you live together, you may automatically think you know everything about your lover. In reality though, it is very easy for life to get in the way if you don't take the time to connect with each other.
 

2. Flirt

Flirting isn't just for teenagers and couples on their first date. Part of a healthy sexual relationship involves flirting with each other everyday. And it doesn't just have to be a form of foreplay. Even on the nights when you are just too doggone tired to be intimate in bed, flirting can be a fun way to keep the zest in your relationship.

Don't be embarrassed about flirting in public either. Show off the strength of your relationship with a little PDA (public displays of affection). Walk hand in hand and try to steal a quick hug or kiss whenever you can. Most importantly, don't forget to say "I love you," as much as possible throughout the day.
 

3. Be Silly Together

Life is serious enough. Sometimes you just need to do something really silly. And if you can't do it with your significant other, who can you be silly with? When you find the time, try reliving your childhood by visiting an amusement park. Go on all the scary rides and eat all the sweets you can until your stomach can take no more.

For a daily ritual that you and your partner can share at home, try playing a game of Twister. The contorted positions you will find yourselves in will have you laughing in no time. Or kick back and watch a funny TV show that both of you enjoy. Whatever you do, the important thing is to laugh and have fun together.
 

4. Declare Your Independence

Remember that healthy relationships are made up of two independent people who have their own personalities and interests. It's not good for the relationship to be constantly joined at the hip. So also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. Peruse your own hobbies and interests.

Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner may not be able to fill for you. For example, if one of you likes sports and the other likes the arts, use your alone time to go to the gym or enroll in a painting class. At the end of your day, you will find that you have more to talk about. It will help bring freshness to the relationship, as you both continue to grow as people.
 

5. Cultivate Common Interests
Along with developing your personal interests, apart from one another, it is also essential to find something you can do together. The emphasis is on finding an activity you can both enjoy. Although your definition of fun may be going shopping, he may not enjoy being dragged along.

If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. Try working out at the gym together. Or take some classes together until you find something you both like. Maybe you'll both fall in love with cooking and connect each night by preparing dinner together.

Source: www.bestlovetips.com

Thursday, 11 March 2010

How to Know if Someone Likes You Romantically


This is one of the most annoying things to have popping up in your mind all the time. You want to find out, but don't know how to go about doing it. Sometimes the direct approach is best--just ask. But if that seems too bold for your liking, look for the following signs.

Behaviour:

1. Pay attention to your conversations with the person in question. Does this person show a special interest in having a conversation with you and, once started, make an effort to keep that conversation going?

2. Is this person "accidentally" running into you in places where he or she knows you will be, such as at your desk? At the Laundromat on Tuesdays? At your brother's birthday party?

3. Make a note if he or she mentions future plans to spend time with you: "That band is coming to town soon. We should really get tickets."

4. Spend time alone together. Canceling other plans in order to be with you longer, or not finding excuses to leave, could be a sign of interest.

5. Has he or she been calling for random reasons, such as, "I was wondering if you knew what that pizza place down the street is called," followed by, "Are you hungry?"

6. Has this person taken a sudden interest in your life and hobbies? This is a sure sign that he or she is interested in something - and it's probably not your stamp collection.

7. Observe how the person acts around your friends - he or she might be extra friendly to your closest pals for a reason.

Body Language:

1. Sometimes seeing someone you have a crush on results in telltale physiological signs. Does the person in question blush when you look at him or her? His or her sympathetic nervous system is probably going into overdrive. Does he or she have trouble speaking, using jumbled words when talking to you?

2. See if the person in question mirrors your motions: When you lean back, he or she leans back; when you put your elbows on the table, he or she does the same.

3. Note whether this person sits or stands in the open position - that is, facing you with arms uncrossed. In addition, a woman tends to cross her legs in a man's direction.

4. Does he or she move closer to you and/or touch you subtly, such as with a pat of your hand or a touch of your cheek?

5. Other elements of body language include frequent eye contact, holding your gaze and looking down before looking away, energetic speech coupled with open hands, and flashing palms.

6. Does the person you're wondering about just plain smile at you a lot?

(Source: ehow.com)

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

How to Have a Happy Love Life


When you first fall in love, it can feel like your entire life is in harmony. You feel totally connected to the other person and you want to spend every waking moment with him or her. You haven't yet noticed the other person's flaws and it's as if the sun rises and sets with this new love in your life. Unfortunately, this phase doesn't last. The newness eventually wears off as reality sets in. The good news is that with the right mindset and attitude, you can keep the magic in your relationship.

1. Decide that you are going to have happy relationship. Anything that you ever do will begins with a thought. Visualize yourself and your partner in a happy and healthy relationship.

2. Handle conflict in a loving way. Every couple has disagreements. The way you handle them will help determine the success of your relationship. Don't insist on being right. Instead, focus on understanding your partner's point of view and be a good listener. This will help keep your partner from becoming defensive and he or she will appreciate being heard.

3. Be responsible for your own happiness. Understand that it's not your partner's job to make you happy. In the early stages of your relationship, your partner may feel flattered to know that you depend on him or her for fulfillment, but after a while, they will feel drained and suffocated. True happiness comes from within. Be your own source of happiness and that will make your relationship much sweeter.

4. Don't be consumed by jealousy. This can do serious damage to a relationship. The poet Maya Angelou once said that jealousy is like salt. In small amounts, it can add spice to a relationship but too much is unhealthy.

5. Don't take your partner for granted. Remind yourself why you fell in love with this person in the first place. Focus on your partner's positive attributes and remember that no one is perfect.

Tips:
- Spend quality time alone with your partner.
- Compliment your partner.
- Be supportive of your partner.
- Don't dwell on previous disagreements. Let them stay in the past.
- Don't nag your partner.

(Source: ehow.com)

How To Forgive Your Boyfriend "Love"

It really is tough to forgive your boyfriend when they have done something to hurt you so bad. But if you really love your boyfriend you must realize that they are not perfect and they make mistakes. If they are coming back to you apologizing and making a REAL effort to get you back than why not give them a chance, because they probably really do care for you like they say and are sorry. Sometimes it’s not best to just throw away the history the two of you have built over one situation. You can forgive your boyfriend and actually build a stronger and better relationship this go around just by knowing how the correct steps to take when forgiving them. We have all been in this position where it was hard to forgive someone you care about and you are torn in forgiving them and not.

I’m here to tell you it’s turned out very good since I’ve forgiven my boyfriend and have some awesome information on how to do it the right way where it will totally turn your relationship around for the better. I was recommended this information by a friend when they seen how hurt I obviously was by losing someone I cared about but I also wanted them back but didn’t want them to believe that it was okay the way things happened. So I decided to take a look at it and was shocked by the information and It worked out exactly as it said and now our relationship is GREAT!

(Source: articlebase.com)

Thursday, 4 March 2010

How to Make a Relationship Work

1.
Decide to love. Infatuation is typically what sparks loving relationships, but the excitement fades and warm feelings diminish unless both partners make conscious efforts to uphold their companionship. Once love is established in a relationship, actively expressing love to each other will maintain and increase the loving feelings in both partners. Conversely, refraining from expressions of love allows one's devotion to dissipate. If you are aiming for a long-lasting, successful marriage, you need to commit to your partner's emotional well-being, even when it isn't easy.


2.
Communicate about anything and everything. Have deep and meaningful conversations once in a while. Discuss what's going on in your lives right now, whether social life, school life, or family life, and learn about each other's pasts and childhoods. Celebrate accomplishments, encourage goals and ambitions, and explore each other's values and beliefs. Share your deepest thoughts, needs, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Know each other inside and out.


3.
Establish trust on all levels. Mutual trust is founded in respect and loyalty toward each other. Strive to understand and respect your differences. Share and clarify your differing perspectives, and try to empathize with each other's point of view. In some cases, it is better to simply agree to have differences of opinion or your own ways of doing things. Pressuring your partner to do something that they really don't want to do, or neglecting or abusing them (whether emotionally, verbally, physically, or sexually) undermines your ability to trust and rely on one another. You should be able to trust each other in everything, keeping private your partner's innermost secrets, fears, and struggles.


4.
Support each other. Be there through the good, happy, sad, and bad times—no matter what. Be willing to provide hugs, kisses, and emotional comfort in all circumstances. If your partner resists your attempts to comfort them and declines to talk about it, you should ease off of the subject and wait until they seem to be in a better mood before returning to it. Feel like you can count on each other; be reliable and loyal, and be emotionally available when you need each other most.


5.
Be completely honest with each other. A truly emotionally intimate relationship requires open and honest communication. Keeping secrets from your partner creates a barrier between you that limits your mutual emotional trust. Honesty can be scary, but if you want your relationship to thrive, then you both need to become comfortable discussing your feelings, insecurities, and frustrations.


6.
Spend time together. Carve out date times for togetherness as a couple. Spend time talking with each other and going out on dates, and doing other relationship-building activities. Really get to know each other and build a connection between you that's strong and enduring. Make an effort to see each other (in-person) and talk on the phone maybe once a day or every few days.


7.
Spend time apart. Be independent and keep your sense of self, never losing yourself or your voice in the relationship. Don't suffocate each other. You should each continue to grow as individuals—not just as a couple. You should have your own space, too—physically and emotionally. Do your own things separately once in a while. Spend time with friends and family, and by yourself pursuing hobbies and other things. Just ensure that no other relationship or pursuit crowds out your partner from being your first priority.


8.
Settle disputes peacefully. Apologize, forgive, and make up with each other. If you threaten to break up with each other after every fight or argument, you will never really resolve anything. Take breaking up off the table. Talk through disagreements as long or as many times as it takes until the issue is resolved and both of you feel comfortable moving forward.


9.
Keep most things private between you two. When your partner shares with you and confides in you (emotionally and physically), resist the urge to disclose sensitive details to anyone without permission. You should treat it as something special, personal and private between you two, out of respect for your partner. A relationship is between two people—you and your girlfriend or boyfriend (or spouse), not anyone else. Don't involve others in intimate matters, however close you may feel to them.


10.
Make continual efforts to maintain your relationship. Work on it. Work hard at keeping it positive, upbeat, healthy, and the very best it can be. Work on it every single day. Whatever you can do to improve your relationship or make it healthier, do it! Try thinking about, and then doing, at least one thing each day that will make life a little easier, brighter, or better for your other half. By challenging yourself to do at least one nice thing for your partner every single day, you stay focused on keeping your love front and center.


11.
Be romantic. Romance is essential to have at least some of the time. Candles, candlelight, compliments, stargazing, watching the sunset or sunrise, fireworks, romantic bubblebaths, showers, and romantic dinners are good ideas. Make some things you do and some places you decide to go to on dates romantic.


12.
Remember that every person, couple, and relationship is different. Don't compare your relationship to anyone else's—not your parents or other family members, friends, coworkers, that couple whose relationship seems perfect, etc. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, love habits, love routines, and so on. Just focus on you two and making your relationship the best that it can be.


13.
Show affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, snuggle, or wrap arms around shoulders or waists. Become close and really comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Share every part of yourself (your heart, mind, and soul), not just your body.


14.
Remember that intensity of emotion can ebb and flow over the years. There may be times when you are less aware of your loving feelings, more into your own interests, perhaps things have even become a little routine. Those are the times to remember all the wonderful things you have done together, and still want to do. You choose to feel committed and close, so when you feel yourself drifting or taking your love for granted, plan a romantic date night, do something special for your love, and just remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities he or she possesses that made you fall in love in the first place.

15.
See family as one, not two. Include each other in decisions. One's worry is the other's, because both will be affected by it.

(Source: wikihow.com)

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Love and Relationship Question


Asking questions to your significant other can seem a bit silly and a bit daunting. If you are already in love, shouldn't you already know them? At the same time, isn't it a little scary to see what they would answer about their past?

1. Asking the right questions is an important part of maintaining a successful relationship. Many marriage counselors stress the necessity of positive communication as part of handling arguments and as a way to get to know better your significant other. It can seem silly to ask straight forward questions that otherwise might never come up in a conversation, but it is an important part of building a strong relationship.

2. Many couples may not know the abusive or criminal background of their partners. Many may wonder why religion and church do not play a factor in their lives. Yet others loose themselves in the routine of relationships and forget their interests and passions that asking questions can bring out. Still, others wonder about each other's past and what the future holds for them as a couple.

3. It is silly to ask questions like what is your favorite food? Where is your favorite hiding place? But asking questions that relate to personal health, fears, emotional backgrounds, family, priorities, and love is a crucial step into finding out more about your significant other. Face it, many couples are happy with having the same favorite foods, TV shows, and friends. Yet many fail to understand that sharing common interests does not result in a successful long term relationship. Knowing what differences you have, beliefs, priorities, and desires is something that is not talked about on a day to day basis.

4. Ask each other, what about growing up is scary for you? What is the one thing you admire about your parents and our children? What is your favorite body part? When are you most confident? What kind of person should our children date?

5. Subjects that are not usually talked about in daily conversations, or subjects that have been in your mind are great topics for discussion. Remember, a successful relationship revolves around communication. Sharing and showing affection are all part of being a couple, but knowing your significant other better than anyone else in this world is what separates soul mates from routine relationships.

6. Ask each your significant other any questions that have been on your mind about their past, present, and future. Remember that both of you should understand that communication is a key part of staying in a healthy relationship. Then ask them to ask you. Remember, growing old together involves honesty and respect.

(Source: ezinearticles.com)

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

How to Love Your Boyfriend


1. Tell him that you love him everyday and at random times. 

2. Intertwine your fingers with his when you walk together.

3. Cuddle up to him when you're sitting next to each other.

4. Be happy when you are around him. If you are having a bad day, let him know. He's there for you.

5. Spend time with your friends and never compromise when he is sad. You don't have your full time with him.

6. Hug him from behind sometimes as a surprise.

7. Share some inside jokes with each other - there's something very bonding about having a cute little secret only the two of you know.

8. Cheer him up when he's down. Anything from a joke to a sweet note left where he could see it.

9. Bake or make things for him. It's a really sweet gesture and he's sure to appreciate it.

10. Try not to be bitter or jealous. Be humble, sweet, adorable and extra flirty.

11. Be honest. When he asks you if you're okay, don't tell him you're fine if you're not.

12. Compliment him on how he looks, what he's wearing, etc.

13. Hug/kiss him first sometimes. Don't let him be the one always doing it first.

14. Lean on his chest when he is lying down. Most guys like that and he won't stop you.

15. Show your love to him whenever you can.

Source: wikihow.com

Thursday, 25 February 2010

5 Best Things to Do for Your Relationship

When it comes to love, relationships can be like cars: constant care and adjustment (instead of pricey and painful visits to the body shop/marriage counselor) are often the best way to improve and strengthen your bond. One of O's staffers gets the lowdown from the experts on five fixes to start making now.


1: "Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. To elaborate: Men need to feel competent—that they make a contribution and that it is noticed. They like to be told what 'behavior' makes you happy. Since men tend to express affection by doing things, you should interpret their actions as love. When men know what to do and are acknowledged for it, they tend to keep doing it." — Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want

2: "Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch him doing something right. Notice one small thing, and express genuine appreciation. That will change your interaction patterns from escalating negativity and criticism to building a culture of appreciation." — John M. Gottman, PhD, author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

3: "When your relationship starts to break down, you need AAA: an Apology, Affection, and a promise of Action. You say you're sorry for what you've said or done to hurt or disappoint your partner. You immediately offer a hug, a kiss—some meaningful gesture of warmth. You pledge to do something that matters to your partner ('From now on, I will…'). And, of course, you stick to that. This whole AAA thing can take two minutes, but in that time you've healed the past, built a bridge to the present, and created hope for your future." — Mira Kirshenbaum, psychotherapist and author of The Weekend Marriage

4: "With books on the market like How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, one of the greatest services you can do for a guy is to reassure him that he doesn't have to make love like a porn star. You can show him how to have sex like a woman: creative, sensual, non-genital-based, and more pleasure- than orgasm-focused. Lead him to an experience that goes beyond his penis and makes him fully engaged—mind, body, and soul." — Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First

5: "All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. A long weekend in a romantic hideaway would be ideal, but even a few hours in a motel helps. Don't tell anyone where you are, turn off your cell phones, and unplug the TV. When you get home, you'll find your relationship has acquired ruddy cheeks." — Dr. Ruth Westheimer, psychosexual therapist and author of 52 Lessons on Communicating Love

Source: oprah.com

8 Tips For Couples - How to Quarrel Right and Efficiently

An eastern proverb says: love birds are quarreling -- just having fun. Indeed, they do right thing, because lack of arguments and conflicts between the two is not yet a guarantee of a mutual happiness, but likely is an opposite case. A large portion of divorces and break-ups happens to the couples, which do not resolve conflicts in an argument, but instead silence them down. Offenses and misunderstandings are piling up and turning into a stable mutual grudge. Besides, reserved and quiet people suffer from a higher degree of stress, because they lacking Cortisol, a hormone released by the cortex (outer portion) of the adrenal gland. Cortisol is produced during hot arguments and blocks the stress. Psychologists came to agreement that most happy couples are those, which has regular light arguments: of course, such arguments must not cross certain lines. In Germany, for example, some family counselors teach young couples to argue right. It is always important to follow the rules of a good argument. Here are 8 useful tips:

Tip 1: Squabble is better to quench at the beginning. Just say: "Wait, I just recalled ..." and after this tell some important stuff about someone from your close circle (let it be even complete baloney - you will work something out later). For example, say that Johnson has final break-up with his girlfriend; or say that mom called and said that her water heater exploded. Or do something unexpected - blow a whistle with two fingers or make a back flip (note: your act must carry nothing offensive or aggressive, for example, do not toss into window her collection of Maureen Dowd books). Recall some super-urgent business, give her a kiss and leave the room with a promise to be back soon. Before coming back you better call her and make sure that she chilled out.

Tip 2: Be specific. Never generalize when you are arguing. Statements like "you are always rambling hell knows where", "it is impossible to find anything in this house" or "all your girlfriends are brainless cows" will be taken as an unjust offense, even if they are true as 2 x 2 = 4. Be specific in your argument. Say instead: "you are three hours late", "where did you put the bottle opener?" or "I think, Jessica is saying total bullshit" - this will allow you to express your feelings without any offensive generalizations.

Tip 3: Do not rush to deliver last year news. She knows well even without you, that a year ago she purchased this stupid Tiffany lamp. As well as you already heard before that in 2001 you didn't send her mom a postcard on Columbus Day. Try to dig out something fresh for your arguments.

Tip 4: Follow the grammar. Are there just two of you? Then talk about "you" and "me", and not about abstract "people" or "somebody". Here are several examples: "This is ridiculous!" that's bad, "I don't like that you just said" - that's good. "Only complete idiot will eat this crap" - bad, "I hate frozen beans" - good. "I am not going to explain anything to anyone!" - bad. "I feel like you don't want to understand me" - good.

Tip 5: Do not use question "Why?" Because during the argument, when feelings are boiling, you will get the only answer: "Because!" There will go all your talk ...

Tip 6: Start your argument immediately. If you do not like something, say it right away, do not take a week for reflections. The faster will be your reaction, the faster the conflict will be resolved.

Tip 7: Do not play solo. You've said your part? Give her a chance to say hers, who knows, maybe she will say something reasonable. In any case, look into her eyes when she speaks. Women hate talk to stubborn backs and sarcastic profiles. Men, actually, do too.

Tip 8: Each one should get a glass of some cold drink. Not for pouring the contents into each other's faces, but for taking breaks in the quarrel and chilling out. Just in case, you better use plastic cups.

Source: ezinearticles.com