How to Break Unhealthy Relationship Patterns

If you're having trouble finding Mr. Right, it might be that you have too much old relationship  baggage. Because our external relationships mirror what's happening inside of us, it's smart to look *inward* to determine why you're getting the results you're getting. Let's take a look at how you can break those unhealthy relationship patterns and attract your one true love once and for all.

1. Take great care of yourself. This topic is given a lot of lip service, and it's likely that you already know it. But, what most people wind up doing is depriving themselves in the important ways and indulging themselves in the stuff that doesn't matter (like that chocolate bar that you "deserve"). Here's what I suggest: start accepting yourself exactly as you are and spoiling yourself with "the good stuff"--whether that's time to read that book you've been wanting to read, a long bath, or a heart-to-heart chat with a good friend. Taking care of yourself is actually about doing what's going to make you feel loved and cared for--not about indulging those desires that aren't always good for you.
  
2. Treat the people in your life better. Are you the kind of person who's on the phone with someone while you're out with someone else? Or do you give the person you're with your full attention? (You know the right answer here.) Are you the kind of person who makes eye contact with everyone in the grocery store, offers a smile, and sometimes a Hello or do you pretend you're the only person shopping the aisles? Do you say "thank you" at least several times a day? Aim to treat people really, really well, whether they're people you know or strangers. Believe it or not, how we treat other people is a big reflection on how much we value ourselves, and treating other people better is actually a really easy way to improve your self esteem which goes a long way towards breaking old relationship habits.
  
3. Forgive all your exes. Yes, even if he cheated on you with your best friend. Yes, even if he betrayed you horrifically and treated you badly. Forgive 'em all. This DOESN'T mean take them back, it just means let go of the relationship fully, release yourself from reliving it, and release your anger, bitterness, and disappointment about how things turn out. By truly releasing the past, and forgiving all your former flames once and for all... you'll be ready to truly break old patterns and find the love of your life.
  
4. Practice "open" posture. This means, shoulders back, head up, looking people in the eye with a smile, mimicking the body language of people who are warm and friendly. If you tend to hunch over and try to take up as little space as possible, practice embracing being seen and acknowledged. This open posture will come to you much more naturally now that you've followed step #3 and forgiven your exes--that's because you won't need all that armor you'd subconsciously been wearing.
  
5. Only accept the great guys. If you have a history of dating losers, there's really only one solution: stop dating losers. I know that sounds like an oversimplification, but you'll find that after you've been practicing the previous four steps, this will come much more easily to you. Once you've gotten in the habit of treating other people with kindness and compassion (and treating yourself the same) you'll KNOW with absolute certainty that you deserve this same level of respect and care. And that makes it much easier to hold out until you find the love of your life.

- It's easier than you might think to release old relationship baggage, but you have to do the work--you can't just plop in front of the TV with your ice cream and distract yourself.

(Source: ehow.com)

How to Take a Relationship Break

Some couples decide to take a relationship break when things get tough. For some this works fine, for others it can be the end of their relationship. If you're taking a break in your relationship, then observe these 2 simple rules and avoid failing where so many do.

1. Decide what the purpose of taking time apart is. This should be obvious, but without discussing this you will fail to have a clear guide of acceptable behaviour while you're both apart from each other. The purpose of a relationship break should be to reflect upon the relationship itself. To do this whilst apart from each other, where things can be seen from a different perspective.

2. Make sure you're both clear on what is acceptable behaviour while spending time apart. Once you are both clear on what the purpose of the relationship break is, the expected behaviour should be discussed. This will avoid any surprises. For some people, putting a relationship on hold means they are suddenly single and free to do as they please. Other people assume that while a relationship is on ice, the ground rules of the relationship still need to be observed. If these two modes of behaviour take place, when you reunite you may find yourself with a bigger issue than you started out with.

3. Stick to the guidelines. If you both stick to the guidelines, any issues that need dealing with when you get back together after your break will be the old issues that plagued your relationship in the first place (which may seem insignificant when viewed with a fresh perspective) and not new issues risen from things that may have taken place during your time apart.

- Sit down together and take setting guidelines seriously. Not doing so can cost you your relationship. All it takes is a brief conversation.

- Not having a clear guideline of what constitutes acceptable behaviour whilst apart can create a breach of trust - an issue which your relationship may not

(Source: ehow.com)

How to Express Love to a Spouse

Expressing love to a spouse is important for all couples, no matter how long they've been married. For newlyweds, it's important because the foundation for the rest of the marriage is laid at the beginning. For couples that have been married for a long time, effectively expressing love is equally as important. Becoming comfortable with one another can lead a spouse to believe that, since he has expressed his love many times over the years, it's not necessary to keep doing so. To avoid alienating or hurting your spouse, take time to deliberately express your love for her daily.

1. Cook your spouse's favorite food. Let him know you did it to make him feel loved and appreciated. This is a small, unselfish act that can show your spouse that, while you could have made something quick and easy for dinner, you purposefully thought of what would make him happy.

2. Agree to do an activity or go to a place he likes. If there's some place your spouse has been wanting to go, make plans to go there. Even if you would have rather gone somewhere else, do your best to genuinely have a good time. Tell your spouse you're glad you did.

3. Ask your spouse what words or actions make him feel loved. Then say or do those things. If you struggle to figure out what makes your spouse's love clock tick, just ask him. Your spouse may be pleasantly surprised and pleased at the simple fact that you're making an effort to show your love.

4. Give your spouse verbal praise in front of others. It's one thing to express love in private. However, public praise can have the benefit of boosting your spouse's self-confidence while letting others know how you feel about him. This is similar to the effect of the public declaration of your love that you made on your wedding day.

5. Look your spouse in the eye when he addresses you. This is a way of signifying that he matters to you and that you care about what matters to him. If you're watching a movie, playing a video game or reading a book when he addresses you, press pause or put the book down. Give him your full attention.

(Source: ehow.com)