Women and men are different. We've got a lot in common, but sometimes we just want different things. Our culture stops us from communicating what we really want, especially in dating situations - and there's some things that are just too awkward to explain.
What secrets aren't being shared? Here's ten things you need to know.
* "We don't always need you to fix it."
There's an old saying that when a man pops the hood of his car, all the other men gather around. But this helpfulness becomes irritating if a woman is just looking for sympathy. What she wants to hear is "I understand" - not "You should try doing it this way!"
* "You're not fooling anyone." Mark Twain said that boys start out by imitating men - and then continue to do so for the rest of their life. It gets confusing for men when their friends or teachers encourage them to act more mature - but a real connection comes from being yourself. A little honesty is attractive, while acting overconfident is a put-off.
* R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Don't fake respect - feel it. Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, and ultimately everyone does have something to offer. Your mission is to find that - in yourself, and in the women around you. Instead of being a chore, this is really part of the fun. What's her superpower - and what's yours?
* Share your sweetness. Men are discouraged from being "too emotional" when they're young, but in a relationship there's one emotion women love to see: affection. If you're thinking a fond thought, share it. If she looks fantastic, tell her! No matter how you were raised, it's okay to be sentimental during those quiet moments on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
* "If we're interested, we'll let you know." Obviously when approaching someone there's a subtle dance, since somebody still has to make the first move. But if you've already signaled your interest, you'll get a signal back if the woman you're pursuing is also interested. And if there's no signal back - that's a signal in itself. If you keep pushing it, you're just being annoying.
* Don't presume she's interested. When a man approaches a woman, she's thinking two things. "Why is he talking to me?" and "When is he leaving?" It's always uncomfortable when a strange man approaches a woman. Successful pick-up lines invent a plausible reason for the initial contact - and preferably, one that signals you're leaving soon. Use that moment to make an impression - but never presume that you've earned an ongoing audience!
* Listening works. Whether we know it or not, everyone really just wants to connect. Unfortunately, you can feel alone even when talking to someone - if you're feeling they don't understand you! But there's a real joy in communicating. It helps to find something you're both interested in, but the real key is listening for the feeling behind the words.
* Neediness is a turn off. Men want things, women want things. But telegraphing your voids, your frustrations, and your unresolved pains...makes you sound like a lot of work. No one wants a partner who's "high maintenance." If you really want a successful relationship, make sure you've got your own life in order first.
* Don't lie. Even with little things, dishonesty leaves a permanent mark. If "men are from Mars," trusting them requires a leap of faith. But instead, lies create a reason for distrusting. And even an undiscovered lie can damage a relationship - since then you've really made a commitment towards maintaining that lie, indefinitely!
* Don't sweat it. Women are just like you. Movies and TV shows show extreme examples of female behavior - and male behavior. Fortunately, no one's like that in real life. We're all just people.
Discovering that is part of the fun!
What secrets aren't being shared? Here's ten things you need to know.
* "We don't always need you to fix it."
There's an old saying that when a man pops the hood of his car, all the other men gather around. But this helpfulness becomes irritating if a woman is just looking for sympathy. What she wants to hear is "I understand" - not "You should try doing it this way!"
* "You're not fooling anyone." Mark Twain said that boys start out by imitating men - and then continue to do so for the rest of their life. It gets confusing for men when their friends or teachers encourage them to act more mature - but a real connection comes from being yourself. A little honesty is attractive, while acting overconfident is a put-off.
* R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Don't fake respect - feel it. Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, and ultimately everyone does have something to offer. Your mission is to find that - in yourself, and in the women around you. Instead of being a chore, this is really part of the fun. What's her superpower - and what's yours?
* Share your sweetness. Men are discouraged from being "too emotional" when they're young, but in a relationship there's one emotion women love to see: affection. If you're thinking a fond thought, share it. If she looks fantastic, tell her! No matter how you were raised, it's okay to be sentimental during those quiet moments on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
* "If we're interested, we'll let you know." Obviously when approaching someone there's a subtle dance, since somebody still has to make the first move. But if you've already signaled your interest, you'll get a signal back if the woman you're pursuing is also interested. And if there's no signal back - that's a signal in itself. If you keep pushing it, you're just being annoying.
* Don't presume she's interested. When a man approaches a woman, she's thinking two things. "Why is he talking to me?" and "When is he leaving?" It's always uncomfortable when a strange man approaches a woman. Successful pick-up lines invent a plausible reason for the initial contact - and preferably, one that signals you're leaving soon. Use that moment to make an impression - but never presume that you've earned an ongoing audience!
* Listening works. Whether we know it or not, everyone really just wants to connect. Unfortunately, you can feel alone even when talking to someone - if you're feeling they don't understand you! But there's a real joy in communicating. It helps to find something you're both interested in, but the real key is listening for the feeling behind the words.
* Neediness is a turn off. Men want things, women want things. But telegraphing your voids, your frustrations, and your unresolved pains...makes you sound like a lot of work. No one wants a partner who's "high maintenance." If you really want a successful relationship, make sure you've got your own life in order first.
* Don't lie. Even with little things, dishonesty leaves a permanent mark. If "men are from Mars," trusting them requires a leap of faith. But instead, lies create a reason for distrusting. And even an undiscovered lie can damage a relationship - since then you've really made a commitment towards maintaining that lie, indefinitely!
* Don't sweat it. Women are just like you. Movies and TV shows show extreme examples of female behavior - and male behavior. Fortunately, no one's like that in real life. We're all just people.
Discovering that is part of the fun!
(Source: www.helium.com)
No comments:
Post a Comment